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Gay men tell all about their first kiss, coming out and relationships - as the UK’s first gay male dating show airs on ������̳ Three.

Growing up, Mikey didn’t really know what the term “gay” meant.

“I knew there was something different about me,” the I Kissed A Boy cast member says. “I just didn’t know what it was.”

Mikey played football semi-pro then went on to be a referee - and he says being a part of the football world meant, in the past, he would downplay who he really was. “You kind of tiptoe around it sometimes,” he says.

Now though, he's taking part in the UK’s first gay male dating show.

And ������̳ Three has commissioned a poll on some of the key topics of modern gay male life, from relationships to discrimination.

The online poll spoke to 501 adults in the UK who identify as gay men in May 2023.

Around eight in 10 of our respondents hid their sexual orientation to fit in when they were teenagers.

A friend is most commonly the first person they came out to (51%), with the next most common being their mum (28%).

Mikey, from Liverpool, came out to his mum on April Fool’s Day, so at first she thought it was a prank. But he said it again, this time his eyes welling up.

“I said, ‘Mum, I’m gay’ and that was that. We started talking and she’s supported me loads.”

Subomi, who is also taking part in I Kissed A Boy, came out to his mum at 21, after his boyfriend at the time moved in with him.

He says he's grateful it went well. "[My mum's] response was the one that mattered the most to me.”

The experience of coming out was difficult for 60% of gay men, and more than a third say they were treated differently afterwards.

And for almost half, other people were told about their sexual orientation without the person’s permission.

Over half of gay men say that they have experienced discrimination in public because they are gay, the poll suggests, while 44% have experienced discrimination online.

However, three out of five gay men agree that they experience less discrimination now than in the past, and four out of five that the UK has become more accepting towards gay people in the last 10 years.

Three out of five of gay men say that they have experienced discrimination from other gay men. The most common reasons were due to how their body looks (40%) and their sexual preferences (26%).

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Almost half of respondents had their first gay kiss by the age of 18.

Mikey remembers his first kiss when he was 18. “Once I had that kiss I realised, this is normal,” he says. “It released a lot of pressure from my shoulders.”

Over half have been in a monogamous relationship in the past, and one quarter have been in an open relationship, 6% a throuple and 9% a polyamorous relationship.

Although he's never been in an open relationship, Mikey says the past four or five boys he’s spoken to online have had boyfriends.

“I think it’s because sex isn’t a taboo subject anymore - I think that’s probably why we’re finding more open relationships.”

Most have used dating apps to find a relationship (70%) or sex (67%).

A third of gay men say their experience of dating apps has been positive, while one in seven say it has been negative and half both positive and negative.

Subomi, who's faced the usual online dating pitfalls like being blocked mid-conversation, says he tries not to take negative online interactions on dating apps personally.

On dating, Subomi says: "I've just come to notice that a lot of people take on a whole different persona."

Over half (59%) of gay men say it is important to them that there are spaces for gay people, and 53% say that there are not enough spaces for gay people where they live.

“When I’m in a gay club, all these people are just like me and I just feel so comfortable,” Mikey says. “When you’re in a room with so many other people like you, it hits different because everyone’s free, everyone’s happy and just having a good time. It’s pure joy.”

Polling company interviewed an online sample of 501 UK adults aged 16+ who identify as gay men, between 5 and 12 May 2023. Age and geographical quotas were set to ensure a representative sample. At the analysis stage, data were weighted by age.

Sources of support are available via the ������̳ Action Line.

I Kissed A Boy airs Sundays and Mondays on ������̳ Three and ������̳ iPlayer.