成人论坛

The moment I found out I’d got a place on the digital journalism scheme in 2016, I was lost for words. I didn’t know if I should cry or scream with excitement. I was on the path to achieving my dream career and I couldn’t be happier. It was the start of a turning point for me.

The last five years have been some of the most difficult years of my life. In 2013 my life changed forever. I lost my younger brother Elliot unexpectedly at the age of sixteen after complications during a routine surgery. I was in the last year of a media course at college and had plans to attend university. Suddenly, my life has been tipped upside down. While people were asking me what my plans were for the future, all I could think about was how I was going to survive a single day, let alone my entire life, without my best friend and brother.

I’d been interested in radio and people’s stories from a young age, recording interviews with my pets and family members on a cassette recorder at the age of six and making my own shows, so it was no surprise that I was desperate for a career in journalism. I assumed you needed a degree to even be entertained by the industry and so, even though I was struggling to even get out of bed in the morning, I pushed myself down the route of a university degree in journalism, terrified of disappointing everyone and thinking I had to soldier through and show people I had it ‘all together’.

It wasn’t long before I was struggling with my mental health. I was becoming a recluse, barely able to leave my house without having a panic attack. I had dark thoughts and I felt more and more isolated by my grief. I decided to drop out of university and take a course in digital marketing instead as I knew I couldn’t continue to attend the course. My hopes of becoming a journalist seemed to be disappearing before my eyes. I felt I’d let myself and my family down.

Instead of saying goodbye to journalism completely, I decided to set up a blog and write about my experiences with mental health and grief, hoping to reach out to others who were struggling and needed someone to relate to. There aren’t many resources or support for sibling loss, which is often why we are called ‘the forgotten mourners’.

My blog caught the attention of a local 成人论坛 radio presenter who invited me along to talk about my experiences in a radio interview. I remember being so nervous but relishing the opportunity to talk about my brother and his story. Sadly, people who are grieving often don’t get to share their experiences due to taboo and the fear of making others feel awkward.

The presenter suggested I applied for work experience at 成人论坛 Three Counties radio as he thought I’d be a great addition to the team. A few months later I was back at the station on a two week placement. For the first time in a long time I felt I had purpose again. I was brought out of my shell and felt as though I had found myself after years of loneliness and struggles.

An opportunity soon came up to apply for the digital journalism apprenticeship which the editor at Three Counties suggested I apply for as it would allow me to gain my journalism qualification and train with the 成人论坛 Academy.

To find out I had got the job at Three Counties and would be able to achieve my dream of becoming a journalist through another path made me so happy and excited about the future.

I’ve recently graduated from my apprenticeship, achieved a place of the John Schofield mentoring scheme, achieved a distinction in my NCTJ course and got a job continuing to work on the digital team at Three Counties. I am incredibly proud of my achievement and I’m so excited for the next chapter of my career with the 成人论坛.

The last two years have not always been easy but they have been the most exciting and rewarding years so far. I spent my brother’s anniversary away from home studying for exams. But with the support from the academy and my apprenticeship family, I got through the bumpy parts along the way.

I’ve realised that it’s okay not to have everything together all the time. It’s ok to ask for support when you are struggling and it doesn’t make you a weak person. If anything, I have found my struggles with grief and mental health have made me a better journalist. I have more empathy and understanding for contributor’s struggles. I’m inspired to help others and to share my story so people know they can overcome the darkest of times. But more than anything, I know my own strength. I know my brother will continue to inspire me in my career and in my everyday life.