Your News
There are more news stories on the streets of the UK than there are discarded red rubber bands. iPM cherishes them and wants you to send them in - news stories, not red rubber bands. Oh, wait. We want red rubber bands too. Not quite sure why. Suggestions?
Anyway, where was I? News. Each week listeners send us single sentences explaining their news. They're funny, brave, sad and angry. They tell of defeats and victories.
You supply the words - via the blog, on or in an email - we add the old Nine O'Clock News theme and a ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Radio star.
This is the script super-soaraway Susan Rae read last week:
"Celebrating my 60th, went on a Quad bike, broke ankle, got back on, and have now been adopted as the coolest grandmother by several young people.
He turned up to see the children today - drunk again.
I said, when I arrived at work 'It has to be a body or an arms dump at the very least'. As it was a head I was nearly right.
Currently examining my horses droppings!! to judge whether or not she is eating new grass and whether there is enough grass coming through to put her out at night, so that I no longer have to muck out a stable in the morning. I should get out more!
My father-in-law has a tumour and we find out on Thursday whether it is cancer or not - have been wondering why it is I can offer sympathy to most people about most things but not my partner - who I love dearly - who needs it most.
Deaf-as-a-post, ninety-something Freda, who only learned to read at the age of 20, loudly asked if I could also read, before gifting me a book from the charity shop that she was too embarrassed to give back.
My wife explained to my daughter that her great Aunt no longer needed her wheelchair and that was why they did not have to try and fit it in the coffin.
Paid in a cheque for £1,740 for work done, and sold two second hand books and an ebook from one of my websites, some weeks I earn nothing, it's what makes freelancing so exciting.
Doctor asked same questions that appeared on the waiting room poster for cancer of the oesophagus. It's going to be a long week.
Sun is up, the Euro to the Pound is up, Easter is here with processions to the church this week, what more could you want?
Fed up with people at the Department of Work and Pensions who may make me suffer an Easter with only 22 pence to my name!
I found out this week that two of my closest friends are about to leave their husbands, and neither man has a clue it's about to happen.
For the second month in a row a customer has bounced a substantial cheque on me, which means I will have breached my overdraft by the end of tomorrow, leading to a weekend of worry and the possibility of the end of a seven-year business.
Fancied a nice pub lunch but when we got to the pub of our choice, only sandwiches."
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