Your News
Prince or pauper. Happy or sad. Serious or a bit silly. We all have news to share. Compose a sentence summing up an event in your week, email it to us or leave it as a comment below. We will do the rest (ie. add the old Nine O'Clock News music and invite a top ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ voice to read it out).
Here's the script read out regally last week by the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳'s Royal Correspondent Peter Hunt....
"I discovered that none of the staff at my local Job Centre Plus listen to Radio 4, they'd never heard of iPM.
I booked a holiday in Florida during which my 19-year-old son will meet my new woman for the first time... should be interesting.
Spent most of the last few days preparing for elderly relative to be discharged from hospital but this morning she fell in the ward bathroom and broke her arm.
It took me thirty years, but I've finally finished Middlemarch.
Hard at work, trying to do right, but thinking those that do wrong are better off.
Found out that my job was 'at risk' of redundancy and that I would be informed on the 16th June if my services were still required. Have not slept since.
I'm camping on Shell Island with hundreds of single parents and their offspring.
The dog's bed got stuck in the x-ray machine at Terminal 5.
Fixed the website via my blackberry and had my roots done.
I have to lose two stone before we can start IVF and I'm desperately trying to shift the last few pounds before our appointment on Monday.
The pheasant's foot appears to be a bit better.
On the way home from the theatre someone in a passing car threw an egg at me. I wondered if it was gay bashing or just a waste of an egg.
I've been marking A/S exams and I wish candidates would learnt to write neatly and with concision.
My parents pulled a fast one on me and hired a mobility scooter for my stay.
I entered a poetry competition for the first time and am now officially sad."
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