Paper Monitor
12:02 UK time, Tuesday, 27 February 2007
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
She did it, she won an Oscar, so that officially makes Dame Helen Mirren showbiz royalty. As such she gets the same treatment as those with blue blood pumping through their veins - any ordinary thing she does makes the front page of the tabloids.
Cue pictures of Dame Helen eating something and if that isn't shocking enough, it's a hamburger. But it provides an easy headline for both the Sun and Daily Mirror - Burger Queen - and for that they thank you ma'am.
By the way, that's another thing she will have to get used to - nearly every word written about her in the papers alluding to royalty. It could go on for years.
The Daily Mirror describes her acceptance speech at the Oscars as majestic, the Sun repeatedly refers to her as the Queen of Hollywood, the Express says she looked regal in her Christian Lacroix dress and the Guardian's fashion editor says she risks "being sent to the tower" for criticising Dame Helen's dress.
But forget who won the gold statuettes, the real contest on the night is always the dresses. PM finds it all so confusing.
Kate Winslet was a winner in the Times and the Sun but a loser in the Mirror, the Guardian and the Independent. Beyonce was a winner in the Independent, the Express and the Sun but a loser in the Mirror, the Guardian and the Times.
Thank heavens for actress Anne Hathaway, her dress is universally derided as awful. No confusion there. That bow, what was she thinking?
After the Oscars there is only one other important story in the papers - Jade Goody's "peace-making" mission to India. According to the Sun, she says she is on a "private visit, there are no cameras or anything". Strange, because there are six photographs of her on her trip in the paper. There are also some in the Mirror and other papers.
But the really surprising thing is the Express. She only makes page 17 and there is just a single picture of her in the paper at New Delhi airport. What's so shocking about that you ask? One of the pictures in the Sun shows her in front of the Taj Mahal "doing a Diana". Surely that's front-page stuff?
The 
