Paper Monitor
13:51 UK time, Thursday, 15 March 2007
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
What a day for headlines! Not only are the punners off the subs' bench but the intro-exposition-finale specialists have been called in for duty to boot.
"BLUE CHEATERS!" shrieks the Daily Mail above its story of how the flagship ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ children's show has been forced to apologise after faking a phone-in contest winner.
And on the adjacent page is this gem: "THE £100m TYCOON, HIS LOVER AND AN E-MAIL CALLING THEM 'A MAD DWARF AND A NYMPHO'." The Times runs the very similar, but no less arresting, "MILLIONAIRE AD MAN SUES FOR LIBEL OVER 'MAD DWARF AND NYMPHO SCHIZO' BLOG".
And the Guardian invokes the spirit of Are You Being Served? with its take on temporary cells to be set up on high streets and shopping malls: "GROUND FLOOR PERFUMERY, STATIONERY... AND CELLS".
Meanwhile, the Daily Express has its eyes firmly fixed on Dave Cameron's ever-changing hairline. No, it's not receding (yet... just look at what a stint in power has done to Tony Blair's own barnet) but after months of dressing to the right - that's hair parting, we're talking folks - he's now switched to the left. And last June, it was a centre parting! What does it all mean?
"No wonder so few of us can work out what he stands for," says the paper's opinion column.
And the Independent has a picture bound to warm the cockles of every lobby journalist's heart - Alastair Campbell in the stocks. What's not to like about that image?
The 
