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"What do you mean your tables are all booked? It's only a Thursday evening!"

Avid followers of the Monitor may recall from Februarys past that you don't have to be single to find St Valentine's Day a little bothersome. All that enforced romance; those expectations and ill-judged responses.

For these rather hard-boiled souls, the Monitor's imagined hero – Shnookums – has assumed the mantle of St Valentine's anti-hero. That line of conversation at the top of this entry… that was Mr Shnookums this morning trying to book a table for tonight at his local peri-peri chicken diner. What will he tell Mrs S?

Here, Monitor readers are invited to empathise with Shnookums' unenviable situation – having forgotten to book a candle-lit table pour deux at the cosy local bistro, and found out rather too late that restaurants country-wide are booked up, how can you best convince your other half that you never intended to go out and staying in for a defrosted chicken kiev and a glass of Lambrusco (or similar) is the last word in romance.

Click on the COMMENTS button below to read the strongest of your weak excuses.

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