Paper Monitor
10:45 UK time, Thursday, 24 September 2009
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
How do you report a 96-minute speech within the confines of a humble page of newsprint? With varying degrees of commitment given that the speech in question was given by the Libyan leader Colonel Gaddafi to the UN General Assembly.
The Daily Telegraph pictures Mr Gaddafi's expansive gesticulations and props - a copy of the UN founding charter, which he literally tore into.
The Times picks out "epic highlights" against a timeline; the best of them being:
"11.55 Jet lag - complains he woke up at 4am 'because it was morning in Libya'."
The Guardian shows the Libyan leader tossing away the UN charter.
For the Mirror, the most arresting picture is of a tent erected by Mr Gaddafi in the back garden of a house he has rented from Donald Trump.
And the Sun? It reduces the 96-minute tirade to a pun - Col Gadafty.
No one attempts an annotated speech type thing - that would probably have to run to a pull-out supplement. Instead, the Times reserves this treatment for Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg's address to his party conference yesterday.
Philip Collins takes Mr Clegg's line "Let me tell you why I want to be prime minister..." head on. "Ashdown used to carry sentences like this. Clegg didn't quite." Ouch!
Lastly, why is Paper Monitor not in the least bit surprised to see the Telegraph tucking into comments by academic Terence Kealey, widely reported yesterday, about undergraduates flaunting their curves in the classroom?
The Telegraph throws three writers on the story - including professional aesthete, and sometime , Stephen Bayley.
Bayley is perhaps best known for his appreciation of cars, so it doesn't take long before with the, er, automotive form.
"[I]f Madonna were a car, she would be a 1959 Cadillac Eldorado. Mrs Obama would be a Toyota Prius (economical, but smart). Angelina Jolie a Lamborghini... Helen Mirren... a classic Jaguar [and] Mrs Sarkozy the elegant Lancia driven by Grace Kelly and Cary Grant in To Catch a Thief."
That's Stephen Bayley, who won't be writing for the Guardian woman's page any time soon.
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