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17:05 UK time, Friday, 12 March 2010

Re , Justine Robert of Mumsnet misses the point when she says: "You have to have sympathy for mothers struggling with a toddler, baby and shopping." The problem isn't the buggy on the bus. It's when mothers see a wheelchair user waiting, but make no effort to remove their child from the buggy, fold the buggy away and place it in the storage area so that the wheelchair user can board the bus. Unlike your child, they have no option about being in their chair.
Kim, Notts

After trundling off to bask in my caption competition glory with my friend he told me that "shock and paw" would have been better. He is so right. I must therefore, regrettably, return my kudos (unless you allow transfers).
Tom Webb, Surbiton, UK
Monitor note: Team, waddaya say?

While living in the wilds of Africa, I came across an intriguing fellow who worked at a safari park. He was running in his local council elections and his was "Apple Crumble For All!" Sadly, his promises of polite pomaceous pudding failed to win him the day.
Additional tales of said gentleman for editorial consideration:
He sold baseball caps from his home. There was a sign on the door that said, "Baseball Caps! R2 for 1 or 2 for R5!"
While taking me on a tour of his safari park he told me, "Lions are overrated. Everyone thinks they are the kings. But compared to the wolf, they are nothing. Lions are like little girls. The wolf is the true king. The wolf is so brave. It has the heart of a lion."
This is like being on Radio 4.
Dylan, Reading, UK

"Together they try to stop Dr Cuddles and an evil blue teddy bear from taking over the land" (). What sort of drugs are available for the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ commissioning teams?
Louisa Hibble, Leicester

Lester (Thursday letters), that's not the definition of average - you're confusing the median and the mean. If you take the numbers 30, 1, 2, and 3, the average is nine. Half of them are not above average.
Colin Edwards, Exeter

Re papers saying sorry (Thursday's Paper Monitor), I heard an idea on Mark Thomas's recent radio show that it should be law that newspaper retractions should be printed in the same font size and over the same pages the incorrect story originally appeared. I think it's an excellent idea. The Daily Mail might disagree...
Howard, London, UK

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