Paper Monitor
12:47 UK time, Thursday, 8 April 2010
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
This Paper Monitor will be free of the e-word.
It used to be diverting to feature on these pages the words of wisdom uttered by the page three "stunnas" in the popular "News in Briefs" section.
But the Sun has now taken it too far by consciously taking the mickey, with its beauty outlining the three basic laws of economics.
Today Hollie, 22, from Manchester, says: "As guru Adam Smith wrote in his seminal The Wealth of Nations, they are: a free economy, free marketing and laissez-faire government."
Boooooo.
Elsewhere in the Sun, there is something amusing.
"Fury as 4ft penis grabbed by police".
A wise old sage once told Paper Monitor that some stories just write themselves and you shouldn't interfere too much.
A garden centre boss had a 4ft stone penis statue seized by police after displaying it in a shop window. It was apparently a work of art from Indonesia.
The man refuses to pay the fine and has started a "Free Willy" campaign.
So we go from tabloid good to tabloid bad.
Never mind "Broken Britain" are the nation's punning sport headlines in terminal decline.
The Daily Mirror has "DREAM IN ROOINS" on the front after Manchester United were knocked out of the Champions League. Wayne Rooney may have also re-injured himself.
It's "ROOINED" in the Daily Star.
But Paper Monitor noted the Mirror giving this pun an outing a week ago when Rooney was first injured.
And a quick check of the Lexis Nexis database reveals this pun is as old as the hills. It first got an outing in 2005. The Sunday Mirror also used the formulation "DREAM IN RUINS" in 2006.
Stop it.
Now.
The 
