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Regarding this story, can we please have some clarification? Is the judge saying that, of all the food on offer, only the rats and mice are fit for consumption? Or is he saying that only the rats and mice can dine safely? Thank you.
Sharon, Belfast

I suppose if you tandoori them, they probably taste like chicken.
Mike, Newcastle upon Tyne

What is going on in America? First an untraconservative leader called Palin, then Koran-burning pastor Terry Jones... what next? Neo-Nazi leader John Cleese?
Chris Thompson, rural Dorset

When I sat my dog at the keyboard, she tweeted - bztnqbtjvgunxrl obneq,jungarkg? - maybe I need to get her one of those special keyboards that allows a doggie to type in English. Note to editor: The doggie speak is a rot13 encrypted message - omg a dog with a keyboard, what next?
Alan Addison, Glasgow, UK

To Dr Reece Walker Ph.D (Thursday's letters), I disagree. Whilst the incident was nearly a hit, it was indeed a near miss. 'Near' is being used as a relative adjective showing that this incident was nearer than all the other misses that are going on all the time every day. If you are looking at two horses (one close, one far away) and you refer to the near horse, it is still a horse! It doesn't suddenly become only nearly a horse (a donkey?) just because it is closer than the other one!
Jo (neither Dr nor Ph.D), London UK

Paula of Canterbury (Thursday's letters), I am highly affronted by the implication that I, as a distinguished monitor devotee of long standing, should have a so-called 'healthy' sense of humour, or should tolerate the existence of one within the police force. The story referred to represents a terrible blow to the great tradition of po-faced officialdom which underpins such chersihed national institutions as political correctness, health & safety and car clamping. Don't let them go the way of park wardens and dog licenses! I'm only glad that it's not my taxes which are being frivolously frittered away in this jaw-droppingly cavalier fashion. I'm in such a high dudgeon, I will forget to take my coat with me.
Ray

Dear Paula of Canterbury (Thursday's letters), not everyone reading the Monitor daily is likely to be immune to pompous outrage. I was pompously outraged at reading someone from Surbiton calling a car an "automobile"!
J. Paul Murdock, Wall Heath, West Midlands, UK

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