Paper Monitor
11:09 UK time, Friday, 24 August 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It is in the public interest that this column today tackles the particulars of Prince Harry's privacy.
After getting its (un)dressed rehearsal out of the way yesterday, the Sun today publishes the genuine pictures of Harry. He looks like a footballer in defensive wall pose - protecting his vitals with his hands - albeit with no clothes on and with a diminutive brunette striker hiding goalside of him.
"Heir It Is! Pic of naked Harry you've already seen on the internet", the paper asserts. Can there ever have been such a modest tabloid boast before, akin to nailing on the masthead: "Not a world exclusive: inside the pictures that are 72 hours old and you've all seen online already!"
The Sun warms to its campaigning theme inside - Lord Leveson take note. "Naked Vegas pics swept the world on web. Now it's vital you see them here."
The other tabloids are left trailing in the Sun's wake. The Daily Mirror opts for punning paternal disapproval "", although its source hardly backs up the notion that Prince Charles gave him both barrels. "He gave him a talking to and told him to lie low."
The Daily Star copies the Sun... of yesterday. It brings in "lookalike photographic ace" Alison Jackson to recreate the Prince's nudity using a Harry doppelganger and a strategically placed crown.
The Daily Express unearths a dastardly plot. . The paper reveals evidence of American female treachery. "We heard girls in bar plotting to get into Harry's hotel room."
The Daily Mail is always keen to point a helpful finger, asking
Meanwhile the Times who were with Harry in the pool. "He kissed me on the lips. Ha Ha!" tweets Adam Aley. "I can't describe how this night was with harry!! I thru him in the pool."
It's left to the paper's columnist Ben Macintyre :
Times change, but playboy princes do not. Replace hunting matches with 'strip billiards' and les dames with what TMZ, the gossip website hosting pictures of the naked prince, describes as "a bunch of hot chicks" and you have a 21st-century reprise of the wayward prince story, a tale that is deeply embedded in, and central to, the history of British monarchy.
The 
