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Paper Monitor

12:09 UK time, Wednesday, 5 September 2012

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Paper Monitor is a little tickled by the way some of the papers present David Cameron's cabinet reshuffle today.

First there is the in the Times, which catalogues all the "chopping and changing". So it is that Jeremy Hunt, who takes on the "thorny brief" of Health, and Patrick McLoughlin, who will "prepare the ground" for airport expansion as Transport Secretary are "cultivated (promoted to grow)".

Andrew Mitchell, now Chief Whip, and Owen Paterson, now Environment Secretary have been "pruned (moved sideways)", while Justine Greening, who has been "uprooted" from Transport and Andrew Lansley, who "failed to blossom" at Health, have been "sheared (cut down)".

Others are catagorised as "firmly rooted", in the "growth greenhouse" or "bright young saplings", while Boris Johnson, who "poked his head through the cracks to pour scorn on the PM's new arrangement" is termed "Japanese knotweed".

Then there is Michael White's sketch in the Guardian, which sees the ministerial parade out of the big black door of No 10 on reshuffle day as a .

Jeremy Hunt, the minister being rewarded for organising the Olympic bunting, is actually very tall. But when waiting reporters shouted "are you the new health secretary?" as he emerged from his audition with the coalition's Simon Cowell he flinched as if this was the last question he had been expecting. "Huge task, biggest privilege of my life," he gulped.
No room there to mention the NHS: it was all about Jeremy, his hopes and dreams of stardom. Very BGT.

Talking of Jeremy Hunt, Paper Monitor can't help but notice that most papers pick the same, slightly comical, picture of the new Health Secretary waving his arms in the air.

And then there is the Daily Mirror's picture that depicts David Cameron as a mouse, claiming the PM "bottled out" of axing George Osborne.

The silly season might be over, but Paper Monitor thinks some of the papers might still be a little bit bouyed by that summer feeling.