Paper Monitor
14:02 UK time, Thursday, 15 November 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
So. Parents. Who does it in your house?
In the week that the Coalition announced plans for mothers and fathers to share time off after a child's birth, the Daily Telegraph's Allison Pearson has hit upon a :
"We will know we have got there when taking time out to be with a new baby makes a man look strong, not weak, and it's Dad who books the babysitter"
Right on, sister, I hear you shout. But soft, what light breaks just to the right of her rallying cry on page 32? It is the east, and Helen-from-Corrie-in-a-bikini is the sun. (Public health warning: )
The foundations of female solidarity wobble somewhat when it comes to discussing this young woman in ITV's "jungle survival contest" who is afraid of creepy-crawlies and changes into a bikini in order to "make up for my patheticness with my boobs".
Meanwhile, breathless discussion continues about the Petraeus affair. The Times bookends its masthead with the socialite and the biographer, and on page seven has a flowchart of all the connections between the , such as:
- colleagues
- emailed from secret account
- twin sisters
- emailed bare-chested photos of himself
- family friends
- etc
It is, indeed, a tangled web. (One without spiders in it, Helen-from-Corrie-in-a-bikini).
And the Guardian has a devised by Hadley Freeman, with questions such as:
"David Petraeus allegedly had an affair with the woman, Paula Broadwell, who wrote his biography." Which part of that sentence is inaccurate?
- "Allegedly"
- "Wrote his biography" (someone else wrote it, even though Broadwell's name is prominently on the cover. She did the research. The undercover research, fnar fnar - oh do stop it)
- "Broadwell" (give me a break, what kind of phoney name is that for a mistress? What is this, a Dashiell Hammett screenplay?)
And:
Broadwell became jealous of Tampa socialite and friend of Petraeus, Jill Kelley. But unbeknown to Broadwell, Kelley had her hands full exchanging 20-30,000 emails with General John Allen over two years. Have you sent 20,000 pages of emails to anyone in your entire life?
- No, I have a life
- No, are you freaking insane?
- No, no and thrice no
- All of the above
In Paper Monitor's experience, when given the option "all of the above", it's best to take it.
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Oops. Your humble columnist is being given a very hard stare by the 7 days 7 questions setter.
The 
