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Sent to me by a colleague here in our lovely open-plan office, here's an article from Fighting Arts magazine, all about martial arts wheelchair techniques for fending off attackers. Blimey. There's advice on what to in the event of a and , plus .

Monkey isn't entirely sure about all this, as the writer admits that he worked up these moves while "confined to a wheelchair" for a "relatively short period", which led him to gain an appreciation of what life is like for "those who are handicapped" (yes, the language leaves something to be desired too). Plus, of course, he doesn't bear in mind a possible lack of upper body mobility either.

Still, if you fancy trying out some of these sleek and sharp moves in the safety of your own home, do let me know the results. I've always fancied being some kind of wheelchair ninja, you know.