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My 4 year-old son has recently announced that he wants to be a racing car driver when he grows up. Despite the inherent danger of the profession and the constant threat of media intrusion, I'm fairly relaxed about this declaration. After all, last month his aspirations were leaning towards being a windmill engineer and thus joining the ranks of the privileged few allowed inside the actual wind turbines at , a regular haunt of ours. Prior to that he's variously wanted to be; in the navy (a sure fire route to a ride in a submarine); an astronaut; a bionicle and 听- the starry-eyed dream of small boys everywhere - a train driver.听

Conversations with both my 4 year old and his elder brother on the topic of future career moves tend to veer between the hilarious and the bizarre. When I can manage to keep a straight face I try to get the occasional pitch in (beloved of parents everywhere) about the importance of trying hard at school if they want to be able to follow their dreams.听

"Erm鈥� I think , but you like maths, don鈥檛 you, so that should be ok."听

When the time comes for my boys to start thinking seriously about their options I hope they have a positive attitude to education as a springboard for the rest of their lives. To be totally frank I don鈥檛 care whether they have high flying careers so long as they have jobs that they value. And to have a chance of that, they need to keep their options open.听

In terms of careers advice in schools the coalition government are committed to establishing an all-age careers service in . Similar services are already successfully established in and . There are also a lot of out there, which offer practical advice on careers, without losing the sense of excitement and possibility.听

I have lot of respect for careers advisors and their dual roles of encouraging ambition and giving down-to-earth advice. My partner used to work in this field and has first hand experience of the difference he and his colleagues made (across the academic scale) with the support, information and advice they could offer people facing difficult choices. (Having said that, his dream jobs for the boys include both international football player and 'Rock God'). However, I strongly feel we as parents have the biggest role to play in helping our children look to the future.听

My eldest son has stuck for several months to the idea that he wants to be a scientist. Although I know this is currently driven by a desire to build huge destructive robots, I think it鈥檚 a pretty good aspiration and I feel a trip to the in Edinburgh and it's wonderful, child-friendly robot exhibit coming up. I hope to keep on using any opportunities I can, to encourage my sons to aim as high and as wide as they want to, but also taking the chance to remind them that some things are worth working hard for.听

Flora Napier works for听成人论坛 Learning Scotland.

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I remember I had barely tucked away my hanky, after settling my son into primary school, when talk at the school gate switched to secondary schools and whether to put his name down for a private tutor. Where we live, as in many areas, there is a complicated secondary school admissions system which requires a PhD in Education to understand. Selective and specialist comprehensives, academies, grammar schools, faith schools, independent schools 鈥� we鈥檝e got them all, and more. However, a lot don鈥檛 make the grade as far as some parents are concerned, resulting in too many children chasing too few places at the favoured schools.

This is a common situation nationwide, hence the boom in . And it doesn鈥檛 stop there. Some children are tutored prior to or if they are struggling in a particular subject.

I confess we jumped on the tutor bandwagon and my son received an hour鈥檚 weekly tuition during Year 5. Was it necessary? We鈥檒l never know, but I do have a sneaky suspicion I could have tutored him myself with the same results 鈥� plus, perhaps, a few more grey hairs and wrinkles.听

In fact, it is estimated that around at some point. It鈥檚 true that primary schools can鈥檛 prepare children for all types of 11+ entrance exams. Similarly there are times when some children need extra help or a confidence boost that they can鈥檛 always get at school. However, at 拢20-拢50 an hour many parents cannot afford a private tutor, but there are ways round this.

Practice exam papers in key subjects are available at bookshops or online. My tip for 11+ exams: start with an easy level to boost confidence and don鈥檛 be tempted to begin until Year 5 otherwise boredom sets in. Often, sitting on the sofa and talking through questions is just as effective. Another option is to employ a tutor just for a few sessions, to cover key areas and exam techniques. There are various online tutoring websites too which are cheaper. Some simply provide relevant questions on-screen, others have facilities for communicating online with the tutor.

In my experience, word-of-mouth is the best way to find a tutor but schools and local authorities can help too. Although, such is the scrum to get a good one, parents often sign up several years in advance. It鈥檚 vital to obtain references including an (Criminal Records Bureau) check 听and ensure the tutor is up-to-date with exams/subjects/local schools. I found it helped to establish upfront what was expected from the session and agree about homework.听

A specialist tutor can also help children with Special Educational Needs. My mother tutored dozens of children, well into her retirement and many still write to thank her for boosting their confidence and self-esteem.听

Whether we like it or not, tutoring is here to stay. However, a friend, who is a secondary school teacher, advises against cramming to pass entrance exams as it could lead to the child struggling later on. Most parents want their children to be successful, but a happy child is more likely to do well in life than an unhappy one. Getting the balance right is perhaps the most important lesson of all.

Sarah Kingsley is a freelance writer and a member of the 成人论坛 Parent Panel.

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The highly acclaimed film 鈥楾he King鈥檚 Speech鈥� has put stammerers in the media spotlight and it is a remarkable, true story. I was gripped by Colin Firth鈥檚 performance of King George VI, who overcame his speech difficulties to become a monarch at a time of war, after his brother abdicated. George VI鈥檚 progress was admirable, particularly when his life as King revolved around public speaking.听

There are many celebrity stammerers who, having overcome the condition, can inspire those struggling with speech disorders. Pop Idol鈥檚 Gareth Gates, famously overcame his stammer and has now trained in the McGuire method, which helped him control his stammer. Hayley Cutts, also used to stammer and now works as a successful reporter and presenter. Other famous celebrities, reported to have had a stammer, include Bruce Willis, Julia Roberts and Tiger Woods. They have all shown that a speech impediment does not have to interfere with your aspirations. 听

The film and recent interviews with Gareth Gates, all touch on the torment of having a stammer and when you are young, bullying can be a real problem at a school. In an interview with ,听the chair of the the (BSA) said that about 60% of school age children who stammer are bullied. If your child is being bullied because of a speech impediment, check out their school鈥檚 anti-bullying policy. Encourage your child to do activities that will give them confidence, such as singing, in which stammering shouldn鈥檛 be a problem. This is because you use a different part of the brain to sing. 听

However, provision for help with speech therapy for older children and adults is not always available. In a UK survey, carried out by the (RCSLT) in November 2010, of the 159 respondents, 84% had been asked to reduce their services, with cuts of up to 30%. The college has launched a campaign, , to persuade decision-makers to safeguard early screening and guarantee access to therapy for all children who need it.听

My youngest two children are twins and have been having speech therapy, since they were two and a half. They mispronounce consonants mainly 鈥榮鈥�, 鈥檉鈥� and 鈥榯h鈥�. It is more common for twins to have speech problems. No one really knows why this is, although experts have come up with lots of different reasons.听 The NHS were only able to provide six sessions with a speech therapist and although they benefited greatly from the help of an expert, the hard work really has to be done at home.听

Speech disorders and difficulties are relatively common in this country. According to the charity , over one million children have speech language and communication needs. The BSA say that 1% of adults stammer, whilst around 5% of children will suffer from stammering. In general, men are four times more likely to stammer than women.听With young children,听if you spot signs of any speech problem,听the advice is to find a speech and language therapist as soon as possible.听

Last February, the 听that identified three genes, which may cause stammering in some people. The BSA welcomed the discovery, saying that it proves the cause behind stammering is physiological. They hope it will help identify the problem earlier in children, as to helping them have fluent speech.听

The good news is that children can grow out of having speech problems, though some may need extra help to improve their speech and language skills. For example, lisping can just be a stage a child goes through, but if the problem persists, you should seek advice. , the BSA and Talking Point are all organisations that can give advice to the parents of children with speech difficulties. Another good resource is .

As I have discovered with my twins, it is worth putting in the effort to overcome speech problems. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing your child grow in confidence, as their speech starts to flow more easily.

Claire Winter is a member of the 成人论坛 Parent Panel.

Take a look at 成人论坛 News Education & Family article - Parents 'wrongly blamed for speech problems'.

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I have a confession. It鈥檚 not something I would have admitted when I was younger, but the truth is, I鈥檓 happier when I have structure and routine in my life.

Don鈥檛 get me wrong, I love holidays too and the chance to abandon the usual routines. But after a few weeks of late nights and general chaos at home, it鈥檚 almost a relief when we all get back to school, work and regular activities. This Christmas break in particular seemed to involve a lot of travelling, late nights and excessive consumption of鈥ell, everything.

While it may not seem fashionable or fun the reality is, in my experience, children thrive when they have a routine. And they鈥檙e not the only ones.

Certainly, doing the same things at the same time everyday, doesn鈥檛 sound very exciting. But routine is the framework around which more interesting, creative and stimulating activities can happen. If children are exhausted, not eating well or always disorganised they are likely to experience stress at home and school, which often manifests itself in disruptive behaviour and poor concentration. Not much fun for anyone.

Because babies and young children have no understanding of time, regular events during the day and week help them to make sense of the world and feel more secure. Establishing a good bedtime routine is a good place to start. I found bath, milk and story at a set time made it easier to get my children to bed when they were infants and a similar routine still works with my eight year-old daughter.听

Children will inevitably face changes to their routine. Events such as a new baby, a divorce or starting school can be unsettling but if meal, bedtimes and other activities are the same, children cope better with the changes. Also, establishing routines when they are young such as brushing teeth and washing hands, means they become automatic as children get older. I wish I鈥檇 done this with other tasks too, such as tidying bedrooms, putting toys away, washing and ironing鈥k, perhaps the last one is wishful thinking.

Of course, it鈥檚 important to adjust the routines as children grow up but teenagers benefit from structure just as much as younger children. They experience so many other hormonal and social changes, that consistency at home can be a welcome relief 鈥� although they may not show it! We have a family roast (or barbecue in the summer) every Sunday, so even if has been a busy week we have a regular chance to catch up with each other鈥檚 news.

Routines can also reduce arguments in our house. The children know when bedtime is, what鈥檚 acceptable screen time, when to leave for school and generally accept these long standing 鈥榬ules鈥�. My son has even started to establish his own routines such as the night before, because he has discovered he鈥檚 鈥渁llergic to rushing in the mornings鈥�. 听

Occasionally, household routines can backfire. My daughter is so keen not to be late for school, she is often dressed and breakfasted by 8am and then nags me to get ready. I can see who鈥檚 responsible for my son鈥檚 allergy to rushing in the mornings.听

Sarah Kingsley is a freelance writer and a member of the 成人论坛 Parent Panel.

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All parents want their children to start school as painlessly as possible and search high and low for the most child-friendly pre-school or primary. 听This new government has broadened the choice of schools available. The coalition鈥檚 will see alternatives such as Steiner and Montessori schools, becoming an option for many parents 鈥� but what is the difference between them and mainstream schools?

True听听provide child-sized environments in which the activities designed to lead children to learning, without formal lessons. The teaching method is based on the practice and research of Dr Maria Montessori, a doctor and educator, working at the beginning of the twentieth century, who believed that self-directed learning was best for the under 6s听听

Montessori believed that children learned best through sensory experience, rather than the formal, strict lessons of her time. She observed children learning to read and learning numbers through (carefully prepared) play materials. In Montessori schools, children are encouraged to be as self-sufficient as possible - to tidy their own toys, dress themselves and act as they would within a family. Adult helpers do just that 鈥� help the children in whatever activity they choose for themselves, rather than teaching them in the conventional sense.听

A lot of these principles are used in 鈥榤ainstream鈥� nurseries, pre-schools and primary schools 鈥� there has been a recent re-focus on learning through play and child-directed activity. If this is done well, this leads to children using their natural curiosity and interest in the world around them, to learn new skills.

听are also child-centred in their teaching, believing that children should find joy in learning, and that education should serve the whole child, not simply academically. The schools are divided into different age groups, with nursery up until age 6, lower school from 7-13 and upper school 14-19. They have no system of testing, with children being encouraged to express themselves creatively through music, drama, art and dance. They discourage children from using screens right up to the end of lower school and do not start using computers in school, until the age of 13.

The notions of the 鈥榩urity鈥� of childhood are based on the teachings of Rudolf Steiner. Unlike Montessori, he developed a philosophy called Anthroposophy, on which he based his ideas of child care and learning. A quick web search on this will give you the basics - the spiritual ideas were also very important to Steiner, and some schools, whilst not often actually teaching them, still uphold these ideas..

I have to declare my bias towards - my grandmother was trained in the method (standard training at the time, in the 1930s) and I am considering sending my daughter to my local Montessori nursery next year! I鈥檓 not so sure about Steiner schools, as although I limit TV and computer time, I feel that they are not harmful in small doses and I am not sure about the 鈥榮piritual鈥� side of Steiner teachings. However, they are highly praised by some parents and kids, who absolutely love the schools.

Ultimately, as parents, we need to carefully research the kind of school we choose, particularly as there is more and more choice out there. It鈥檚 important to visit the schools and talk to existing parents, as well as researching the accreditation of the schools - there is currently no legislation governing which schools are allowed to call themselves Montessori or Steiner - to get a more accurate picture than the one written in an Ofsted report.

The ideal is (of course) that whichever school you opt for, whether state-funded or otherwise, it supports the values you are teaching at home and encourages children to explore the world and engage with other people, resulting in happy and confident children who actually like going to school.

Hannah Hunter is a member of the 成人论坛 Parent Panel.

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When I was a child 鈥� not quite the dark ages, although it sometimes seemed like it during those three day weeks in the 1970s 鈥� the idea of parents organising events for their local school was virtually unknown. My mother had little involvement with what went on behind the school gates and found it hard to meet other parents or find out about school activities.

Today, things are quite different. Many schools have a 听听and usually every parent or registered guardian of a child at that school is automatically a member. The PTA鈥檚 main role is to create a partnership between home and school. This often includes the organisation of fund-raising events such as fetes, quiz nights and discos which also provides an opportunity for parents and staff to socialise.听

On my son鈥檚 first day at primary school, I鈥檓 not sure who was more nervous, me or him, and I was grateful for the welcoming arms of the PTA. As I got to grips with what the PTA was all about, I decided to get involved, dipping my toe in at first and then jumping right in, by editing our PTA magazine and raising money for the school through advertising sales. Not only did I get to meet parents and staff, it was good for my confidence too 鈥� I was stuck at home with a baby at the time 鈥� and I鈥檓 sure it has helped me gain work as a result.听

Of course, not everyone is able to help out regularly, but even if it鈥檚 just manning a stall at the summer fete or the occasional baking for the cake sale, every little helps. Admittedly, there are times when requests for money and help seem to come from all directions, but I can forgive the occasional over-enthusiastic organiser, when the benefits are so worthwhile. Apart from the money, which is a boost to most schools, the PTA contributes to a sense of community within the school and local area.

However, the PTA is not just about fund-raising and fun. Increasingly, its role extends to other parts of the school as, wearing my PTA editor鈥檚 hat, I discovered from David Butler, the chief executive of the national charity which represents over 13,000 PTAs - the : 听

鈥淭here are a variety of ways that a PTA can help parents to become more engaged in their children鈥檚 learning such as language support for parents with English as a second language, tailored help for traditionally harder to reach parents, guidance on how to help with homework and support on issues such as internet safety and bullying.鈥� 听

We鈥檝e certainly come along way from the days when parents were seen but not heard. Education is about being better informed and if parents and teachers can work in partnership - whether through fundraising, social events or support in the classroom - our children are more likely to thrive and succeed. And, I鈥檇 like to add, so are we!

Sarah Kingsley is a freelance writer and a member of the 成人论坛 Parent Panel.

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I am sure most parents have heard this refrain more than once, in the last 24 hours. If you have more than one child, it is likely that they will suffer from some kind of rivalry with their siblings, particularly if the children are close in age, one child has a particular talent or if one has a learning or physical disability.听

Being the eldest of three children, means that I am no stranger to sibling rivalry. I felt a strong sense of responsibility in my family and I often wanted to be in charge of my siblings (which they didn鈥檛 really appreciate). I also did not view the birth of my first sister very kindly - there is only eighteen months between us - and when she was a few days old, I used her head as a cushion. When I was 鈥榟elping鈥� change her nappy, I jabbed a pin into her bottom.听

Whilst I am slightly concerned that I sound like a sociopath in the making, parenting experts say that this kind of emotion is natural, in children who feel threatened by the birth of a sibling. What is key is how we, as parents, handle the behaviour. 听Most children react to the arrival of a new baby brother or sister in their lives. The 成人论坛 has some good tips for dealing with toddlers and the birth of a new baby.听

Advice from the 听is not to compare your children, I am sure many of us still cringe at the parental comparisons that were made about us, when we were young. Instead, they suggest setting each individual child goals and expectations that only relate to them.听

Also, don鈥檛 suppress their anger or resentment - allow them to feel the emotion. Discuss it and try and understand their point of view, but explain that they shouldn鈥檛 express it through violence or cruelty.听

Try and avoid situations that promote guilt and lastly, wherever possible, let them work out their differences amongst themselves, whilst at the same time be aware that you may have to intervene, if the situation gets out of hand. This will probably only work with older children, with younger ones, you will have to intervene and teach them to problem solve. Try and , where both children gain something positive.听

At the moment in our household, we are dealing with two three and a half year olds, who say 鈥渋t鈥檚 mine鈥︹�� a lot and an eight year old who often justifiably says 鈥渋t鈥檚 not fair...鈥� a lot. I often ask the eldest one to share her toys or let her younger sisters have something, to keep the peace. 听A family friend once told me a great story about getting a play pen when her second child was born, she used to put her toddler in the pen, so she could draw in peace, while the baby used to crawl around the rest of the room!

I think my are clamouring for more time, attention and space. If your children share a room, make sure they have a toy box where they can keep their special things, all children need to express their individuality. We try to maintain their separate identities by encouraging them to wear different clothes and to have individual interests.

We also try and balance out the attention they get, by giving each child some special time with each parent, but that can also be difficult. There are only so many hours in the week and we, as parents, also want time for ourselves.听

All we can do is our best and sometimes, it is letting them decide who gets the pink spoon - this really is a frequent cause for disagreement in our house!

Fighting and arguing is inevitable in all families. Let鈥檚 not forget though, that there are some positives that can be taken out of the household warzone. Our children are learning some great life skills - negotiation, sharing, and conflict resolution - all areas of expertise that we need, to become successful adults.

Claire Winter is a member of the 成人论坛 Parent Panel.

Listen to the 成人论坛 Woman鈥檚 Hour debate on sibling rivalry.

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Every term my son has a uniform-free day at his secondary school, when pupils are encouraged to donate money to a nominated charity for the 鈥榩rivilege鈥� of being allowed to wear their own clothes. Recently he admitted he actually prefers to wear a , because it鈥檚 easier and there鈥檚 no pressure to keep up with the latest fashions. I was surprised, particularly when for seven years he went to our local primary school which has no uniform.听

Most schools in England do have a uniform or dress code and this is encouraged by the . Yet in many European and most American schools, children are not required to wear a uniform and there鈥檚 no definitive evidence, that wearing one makes a difference to behaviour or academic success. As my son has experience of both options, I asked him to explain what it was like not having a uniform at primary school:

鈥淲hen you鈥檙e younger you feel more comfortable in your own clothes. We wore trainers so it was easier to run about in the playground. It was nice that we didn鈥檛 all look the same and it was easier to find your own clothes if they weren鈥檛 labelled!鈥�

Loss of individuality is often cited, as a reason not to have a school uniform and I鈥檓 not keen on seeing young children dressed identically. My daughter goes to the same uniform-free primary school that my son attended and I like to see the vibrant colours and patterns, the pretty dresses in summer, the fun tights and trainers in winter. The teachers prefer it too, as it means they don鈥檛 spend time enforcing school uniform rules or sorting out unlabelled, identical clothing items.听

So am I advocating that we abandon school uniforms in favour of the ubiquitous jeans and hoodies? No, not really, or at least not at secondary school. A uniform can instil a sense of pride and identity in the school 鈥� perhaps felt more by the parents than the pupils - and ensures that all pupils are on the same level, regardless of race or background. There is probably less bullying听about wearing the latest trends too, although the fashion conscious usually find ways to customise their uniform. On the other hand, rivalry between secondary schools is common and pupils are easily identified by their uniform.

In my experience, uniform-free is more expensive, partly because the cost of uniforms, seems to have come down in recent years. Now that my son wears a uniform his weekend clothes last longer, he doesn鈥檛 need as many and most uniform items can be at supermarkets.听

I would prefer a more casual approach to the school uniform. To me, there is something unnatural about children wearing a jacket and tie. Instead a polo-style top (and sweater in winter) with trousers/skirt, in the school鈥檚 chosen colours, would be more comfortable, cheaper and cooler in warm weather. However, I suspect it鈥檚 a debate that will continue to get parents, pupils and teachers hot under the collar for many years to come!

Sarah Kingsley is a freelance writer and a member of the 成人论坛 Parent Panel.

Listen to 成人论坛 Woman鈥檚 Hour report on 鈥榗ustomisation鈥� of school uniforms.

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Ask any school-age child about the highlights of their school life, and it鈥檚 very likely they鈥檒l mention a trip to a wildlife centre, a camping weekend or a theatre visit. Yet those eagerly anticipated school trips are under threat.听

Following a series of tragic accidents in recent years, many schools, teachers and parents are now increasingly risk averse 鈥� too worried that something may happen to one of the pupils in their charge which could mean being sued by the parents. Add in swingeing public spending cuts and it looks as though school trips 鈥� often funded at least partly by the LEA 鈥� could become a thing of the past. 听The , saying that teachers should have more training to help prevent accidents on school trips.

Despite this climate of fear, the Government is keen to stress the value of such trips and has even produced a booklet . Ofsted chief inspector, David Bell, has said teachers had "nothing to fear" on trips if they follow the right guidelines, while the Duke of Edinburgh, who created his own scheme in 1956, has said that because they teach children about "risk and responsibility".

I was always happy to allow my children on school trips, as the benefits far outweigh any dangers. The major milestone was in Year 6, at primary school, when they went on a five-day activities course on the Isle of Wight - yet for most parents, any anxiety came from the fact that this was their child's first time away from home for more than a night or so.

I had every faith in the competence of the teachers and our school kept us up to speed on a daily basis, by reporting the day's events on the school's website, which was great fun. The sheer delight on the faces of the children when they returned - grubby and with most of their clothes unworn - was justification enough for the fun and confidence-building these trips bring.

Reluctance to take pupils off site for learning opportunities means that children miss out on stimulating, interesting and enjoyable outings to cultural landmarks and events as well as the more adventurous sporting trips. These trips are not just a day out: they can spark a lifelong love of a subject or activity 鈥� or, at the very least, and make sense of the dry classroom activity by seeing it 鈥榠n the flesh鈥�. Who hasn鈥檛 been blown away by an enthusiastic teacher describing an Egyptian mummy in the , or found a new sense of confidence and self-worth when they finally plucked up the courage to abseil down a mountain?听

School trips were also, historically, a way for less well-off children to experience things they would otherwise not have seen, whether due to lack of parental knowledge or lack of money. A school can buy theatre tickets in bulk; schools get discounted rates on accommodation for field trips; coach hire can be subsidised by the local authority.听

Accidents involving children on school trips are, thankfully, extremely rare, so when they do happen, they鈥檙e newsworthy. In our health and safety-obsessed age, there are, unsurprisingly, plenty of rules in place: teacher-pupil ratios and first-aid training are clearly defined. Yet while it鈥檚 fair to say, that teachers are in loco parentis on that art trip to Venice or in the Surrey Hills, we should also ask how many parents would know how to deal with an epileptic fit or an unconscious child who鈥檚 fallen into a river.听

Naturally, there are common sense measures that are practical and laudable: no one can argue with the fitting of seatbelts in school coaches or safety harnesses being worn when clambering up a rockface. But it鈥檚 important that we keep the risks in perspective. Ex-teacher and education journalist Phil Revell has claimed that , only slightly less than our chances of being struck by lightning.听

It would be dreadful if teachers felt that parents lacked confidence in their abilities to look after our children. Surely they go into the profession with a duty of care? Teachers can also bring out the best in a child on a trip, encouraging the quieter ones to have a go at something, or allowing the more confident children to push themselves further. They can only do this by knowing the children first in a classroom setting. So, despite the perceived 听- and often unfounded 鈥� risks involved in a school trip, it really is something that should be safeguarded.听

Jo Lamiri is the editor of听Delia Smith鈥檚 website听and a member of the Guild of Food Writers.

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