Wandering minds...
We've just spent half an hour watching Tony Blair and the Chinese Prime Minister Wen Jiabao at a news conference in Number Ten. One of those news conferences where one Prime Minister speaks, then there's a translation, then the other Prime Minister speaks and there's a translation and then there are questions from journalists. You know the kind of thing. I was watching Tony Blair's face during the questions, then during the very long translations of his words into mandarin , during the long answers by Prime Minister Wen and the translations of them back into English. I don't know if Mr Blair has mastered much mandarin during his time in office , but he must have used up his entire range of facial expressions, guessing no what he should be reacting to. Is a smile appropriate here ? Or is Wen talking about death and destruction in Sudan? A frown here? But what if Wen at that point is talking about fantastic relations between Britain and China? Can Mr Blair allow his mind to wander a bit? Who knows, but it's fun speculating about what he mght be thinking about during these events....
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I think the answer is obvious.
TB is thinking up theme tunes and horsey jokes to post onto yesterdays thread
SB1
sb2
The alternative is he's doing what we all do in boring meetings... He's trying to remember if he got the food out of the freezer this morning, and if he didn't what he can have for dinner instead.
Tony can always learn from George Bush's expressions when they have press conferences together (while George's speech is translated into English):
Folksy
Gormless
Folksy gormlessness
Gormless folksiness
Did I put my trousers on this morning?
Heh heh.
I know what you mean Carolyn. I was staying in an hotel in Shanghai last October for three nights. There was a framed notice over the trouser press, it was written in Chinese. Coming from Yorkshire I had no idea what it said. On my day of departure, I asked the room attendent for it to be translated. He said it said, If you require room service, please open door and shout, "Room service!" It all became clear after that. Thank you.
I like that one - Stainless Steel Cat (SB2)
Did you know that both George and Tony have recently indicated that when Iraq has been finally secured, they'll split into three provinces.
LEADED, UNLEADED and DIESEL.
Carolyn: Your article is interesting. I would like to point out that countries in Africa [like Zimbabwe] and Latin America are learning Chinese and increasing their commerce with China. Even in Miami Florida, we have a huge Chinese Presence. I would like to send the photos to Radio 4 PM.Roberto
"Betty Diddent" - hahaha - just one funny after another today. (Presumably a.k.a. "Watt AW" and "Walter W-C", etc. ?)
I reckon there's only one thing on TB's mind at the moment "Gordon's coming out of the recent debacle rather too well, I wonder how I can change that?"
TB might be thinking on his future:
"Now then, should be able to get a 7 figure advance on the memoirs, specially if I hint I might tell the truth about stuff like WMD, yeah fat chance! Then there's the lecrture circuit, maybe 50,000 a pop for the same old sententious claptrap. Ooh and all the directorships, George and Halliburton owe me big style on that front.
"Wonder who that little Chinese bloke is. Friend of George's?
"Maybe I could be President of Europe...Emperor'd be more fitting, really. Prezzer'd be up for the court-jester's job... Wonder if they'd let me invade anywhere."
And so on and so forth. The same old same old.
John H at 7,
In the hotel I stayed in Japan a notice said, albeit in English. 'If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself'.
I was once the only native English speaker at a difficult meeting in Japan. Whatever I said was translated (I have no idea how well) for the rest, and the tangle I got back from the (relatively poor) translater showed how badly my excuses as to why Z was not working properly were going. Fortunately I did not have to hazard whether beaming smile or laughing were suitable facial expressions or not.
Actually my mind was fairly blank as that translation went on. But I was always amazed how a minute's Japanese translated into a five word question (this effect is even greater with the Japan Telepehone's translation service, minutes of Japanese, a short question, "Yes" or "No" as appropriate, and then more minutes of Japanese.
So I can imagine being in TB's shoes here, except I did not have a prepared speech and was wondering if they would spot the next problem or not, how come they've not offered me a coffee, do I have to bow when shaking hands....
I wouldn't blame TB if he was thinking - when will this farce finally end and I can start that lucrative speaking tour across North America which is going to make me very very VERY comfortable!
Carolyn: I'm still looking for the photos of the Chinese Presence. But I sent photos of an early morning moon and a photo of a monument to women and children killed by authorities in Cuba and USA [in their maritime photos] for attempting to leave Cuba. Roberto
Ah but what's Prime Minister Wen thinking about?
I do that when I listen to PM -- try to guess the expression of the presenter/reporter/interviewee/staff announcer/producer/studio manager/PA/etc. Endless minutes of amusement.
I saw this sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Yeah but what colour shirt is he wearing? Not fuschia presumably...
Well, I'm in the middle of a conference call with two French people, one of whom only speaks French. Now I remeber a lot of my O level French from the mid-eighties, but it's not easy trying to fault-find a failing system in a foreign language. I guess I've got the opposite problem to TB, in that I have to concentrate very hard, as opposed to just trying to look interested...
Maybe what Tony was really thinking about was the appalling technology supporting this blog and wondering if he was going to get the blame for it. I think the problems we've all been noticing really detract from the enjoyment of commenting. Especially since most of us are happy to comment on comments rather than attempt to contribute to the world's wisdom by commenting on the blog. If the comments disappear/take a year to appear/etc., it kinda defeats the point.
I know I'm ranting, but whilst I'm at it, I wish they'd sort that "recent comments" bit out. When it works, it makes it easy to keep track of what's going on - and allows multiple entries to stay "live" because you can use it to jump around (Jump! Jump!). I wish somebody would just give an account of what's going wrong and possibly why - it's not as if there are millions of comments. There are only 13 listed as I write this - probably because Valery P isn't having an interview - but I'm sure a few are stuck in the system somewhere.
I feel oddly cleansed.
sb 14
OK, so who is going to be the first comedian to suggest that the shortage of sperm donors could easily be remedied by contacting any of those parliamentary wa
Ah ...
petard, hoist.
Dear me, Tangent Wings (9), swallowed a Daily Mail this morning? - At least think up your own insults if you're going to have a go!
I think he was probably thinking about "rubbing out" GWB, but I've postulated on this theory on these pages before...
Tangent Wings:
Wen is probably thinking...
"I wonder if I should tell this man I understand English perfectly, and speak it more coherently than his deputy?
No, in this new capitalist China, I must allow the translators to earn their salaries.
...
Hu is the president. Hee hee. That is a humorous joke in English..."
SS Cat, yes, very amusing (3 and 22).
Fearless, You call adding to the PM blog concentrating hard do you?
Oh, and re your 131 on "Confused?..." - Je pense que vous avez parfait raison. I can leave it alone if you and Valery can. Wonder how her networking is going? Wonder if that's en francais?...
sb 23
re 21: At least it wasn't a Daily Express, otherwise it would read "I wonder if I should tell him that Princess Diana was assasinated by M!% at the behest of the Duke of Embra?"
Hahaha! 20 - ding-dong!
I swallowed a Daily Mail once - it was the only paper they had at the barber's - I was coughing small-minded snipes at everybody and everything all day. It was horrible.
:)
Okay, in my defence I finished my post 18 as the call was coming to an end, and they were getting to the "la plume de ma tante" level of language! I was concentrating, honest!
As for your 23,Appy, I will happily admit my french is still at the O-level standard I learnt far too many years ago, mais je pense que tu et Valerie etez les amies vrai, et je voudrai que la reunion passez pas de probleme pour Valerie! :o)
(oh, by the way, I apologise to anyone who speaks french! I haven't spoken or written french for more years than I care to admit, and I know I'll probably come over as a complete burbling idiot. I am not ridiculing your lovely language at all...)
Hey FFF,
I only speak franglais but I understood it. Merci monsieur.
John H (re your 25 and my 26),
I really wanted to make a comment about it being the same when it went in as when it came out but I couldn't think of a ladylike way of putting it so I didn't.
Oh.
I reckon Blair's just thinking:
"now, just don't smile inappropriately like SOME people do in the back of cars... it'll only get some people to have a go at me..."
replace "some people" with John Major's name for those out to get him and probably expains why this didn't appear earlier...
Phew, I can relax a bit about my bad french:) So, have you heard anything from V yet?
Maybe he was thernkerng,
How much longer werll I manage to keep up thers berzarre accent werthout getterng punched ern the mouth by one of the merllions who, I know, werll be erntirely aware that ert’s been fake all along?!
Morning! sb 32, but who knows...
Anyone hear the item on graffiti artist Banksy's painted (live, real) elephant? It's painted all floral wallpapery and exhibited in a room ainted the same way...
Critics and commentators are confused about what it means.
It's soooooo obvious - haven't they heard the phrase 'an elephant in the living room'?
It means there's something large and wrong in front of your eyes but you just can't see it...
Oh, blast, I got modded and went over to 'with a hole' to have a rant about Charlotte Green, of all people. Got lost in the blog.
Reminds me of a children's TV programme. Anyone else remember 'Lost in Space'? Catch=phrase of villain: "pusillanimous pipsqueak'.
And now - Lost In Blog (using booming US announcer voice)
Morning, Frances!
I hadn't heard about it, but it does sound intruiging as an artistic idea:)
By the way, you won't hear much from me today as I've got to drive out to see a supplier. That means I'm going to be on the road for most of the day:( I'll try and post when I either get back in the office or back home, depending on how long the trip takes...
Make your own art!
But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain...
Far better than trying to keep up with blogs
vaya con Gaia
ed
Hey - I've just seen it on the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ news web site.
The strapline says... Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat.
Will today's PM headlines lead with it I wonder? Can Carolyn perhaps secure a live interview with the goat. Or is it a job for Nigel Wrench?
Is it true? Or are they just kidding us? PM listeners should be told.
If anyone starts with "High on a hill there's a lonely goat herder".
I'm out of here!!
Hi Frances,
Re 32:
But the whole point of the "elephant in the room" cliche is that it's so huge everyone can see it and 'at some point we have to stop pretending we haven't noticed it and deal with its presence'. Camoflaging the elephant adds a new twist.
Re 33:
I got modded? Care to explain? - It's a new one on me. Got a parka-and-moped makeover perhaps?
Happy motoring Fearless, btw.
Notice how every time Ed Iglehart turns up (see 35) he tries to lure us away to something else. D'ya reckon he's an ITV journalist attempting to erode the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ audience, starting with the PM blog?
Conspiracy! Conspiracy!
I notice the number of comments for this entry is still shown as zero; and that the list of recent comments aren’t.
SB38
SBstruck-off
Hi, appy!
You're right about the heffalump. I agree.
The 'mod' thing is a spillover from ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ message board jargonese, and I apologise. Let this blogpostery be free of all such! (as if, as they say; also not, and wotevva)
'Modded' means moderated, ie arrested in the ether before it alights, goosefeather-light, upon the sacred precint of the PM blog and thus on your monitor
Well, sb 42 cos I posted a reply earlier and it ain't here yet. Bah! Maybe only way to keep up is to go back to previous posts and have a frolic there.
ed @ 35 - I tired to copy & paste yr post but no luck.
So - Jackson Pollock - fabby!
But elephant, thou art thy lane,
In proving sight may be in vain
When there's denial
In living rooms thou bides betimes
Inspiring psuedo-Rabbie rhymes
O! what a trial
But, like Edina's noisesome wynds
Thou bides and bides, and aye thou minds
The painter's phial
And aye thou minds yon Ben Ofili.
It could be waur. Well, what else will ye?
Brian Sewell's bile?
Frolicking on previous posts Frances? Sounds quite exciting to me. Thank you for the 'modded' definition. I have to say though, I'm disppointed - I was picturing you whizzing around on your 50cc singing along to The Jam...
Frances O - love your 43, very Ayrshire poetesque! Gie's a hauggis!
wrm, got a call from the Kraken just as I was about to enter the Networking Torture, to announce that he'd treated himself to a Haggis Pizza from Sai****rs, and very good it was too.
(other pizzas and suppliers available, obviously)
My S.O. had a scooter, and a parka, then graduated to a bubble car - OOOh, wish I'd seen them. In his days frequenting The Twisted Wheel etc.
SB45
btw was it Chris Ofili, or is he someone else - I saw the "with added dung" pictures a few years back at the G of M A, daresay I'm wrong.
John H - I just LOVE your 25. Will chuckle all day now!
Oh Ed - your 35, I've just had so much fun with that JP. Sending it on to the Kraken, and your site too.
FF - votre francais est a la plus-meme place comme quelle-moi. Sort of/ish. It's been a long, long time since Higher French. A lot of the words are still in there but not what they mean or how they're supposed to go together. The last time I used any was on a trip to Barcelona a couple of months ago - Visiting Figueres (sp?), a bunch of French tourists asked if I knew what time the supplementary Jewellery Exhibition closed (en Francais evidement) and since my Catalunyan is non-existent, and the C's had terrified the life out of me every time I tried to use Spanish (not acceptable apparently), I tried to be pally and answer in French. Hmm should have stuck to Scottish. It sounded impressive enough to me, but unfortunately I gave them duff information...
The Jewellery Exhibition by the way is out of this world - and imho - beats Dali's other stuff into a crocked hat. The Beating Heart is staggeringly beautiful. I didn't know he had it in him.