Wonky headphones
mean that Tony Blair's news conference right now is flickering between my left and right ears. Sometimes both, occasionally neither. It's kinda spacey. You should try it.
There are more postcards on my desk: YOU know who you are. Will try to post them sometime soon - but look at the time already! Also, a Christmas card arrives. On the day after Bonfire Night. Did you abandon your bonfire last night after hearing Barry Sheerman on the programme last week?
As a footnote to the previous entry - a lighbulb joke I remember runs:
Q: How many ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know. What do you think?
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Yes, Eddie, I DO know who I am!
And so do you.
But, more to the point, who is the person who works the scanner?
A lightbulb joke I've just invented:
Q: How many radio presenters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Dunno. Can any of them work a scanner?
Is there a pattern to the appearance and disappearance of the flickering postcards?
They've gone again.
Q: How many ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One. But it is a trick question. You'll remember how Martin Creed's 'lights turning on and off' Turner prize installation illuiminated - and then didn't - the unique and essential role of the light bulb to cultural activity and general gaiety of the nation
Since that time the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ has sought to place the lightbulb where it belongs ... at the centre of broadcast-studio life.
Each lightbulb has a ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ producer exclusively assigned to it. When the bulb needs to be changed the producer will take responsibility - single-handedly - for getting the contractors in to replace it.
A £750 million re-training programme to bring all ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ producers up-to-speed with new low-energy lighting technology will commence in July 2009.
Barry Sheerman led me to all sorts of inconclusive musings last week. For a start he seemed to have his dioxins and dioxides a bit muddled, which wasn't very reassuring. More prosaically, what do people burn on their bonfires? If they didn't burn it on Nov 5th, what would happen to it? Presumably people only burn things that would be disposed of in any case. Would it go for landfill, or to the municipal incinerator? If people weren't out warming themselves by a friendly bonfire, would they be indoors with the lights on, burning heating oil and watching the telly. I'm getting a bit random now. I want to save the planet too, but I'm not sure banning bonfires is the first item on the list.
(I just got an abusive user, wait your turn comment and I haven't posted anything for days. Hmmph. Cross now.)
In the style of Big Sister ...
Q: How many PM presenters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "I think you'll find that the convention is that I ask the questions and you answer them!"
Big Sis, Charles, LOL!
Hey, Big Sis (1) ... I too immediately took up the postcard challenge last week.
Mine is bright yellow.
Which is why, for the first time since it began, I have been taking an interest in the flickering postcards thingy.
Hey ho.
I think I know who I am. Can anyone let me know if I'm right?
You should only wear your own personal cans -- These 'Wonky' ones could be full of mites that adore earwax and cable insulation. Also I will never ever wear those headphones to listen to samples of music in CD stores, after standing behind someone wearing them who looked and smelled like a tramp! Thick horrid greasy hair -Yuk!
Incidentally, I recall that years ago when I was working in an office a charming lady used to come around and disinfect all the telephone earpieces. Does that still happen ??
How many ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ managers does it take to change a light bulb?
"Ah, you want a decision that quickly?"
Fearless Fred
How can we tell you if you're right about knowing who you think you are if we don't know who you think you are?
jonnie (9),
I too remember the ladies who came round disinfecting the phones. Would be interesting to know whether its demise was due to being deemed inefficient or to the threat of being 'first against the wall' as per Hitch Hikers Guide.
And if it was effective but removed due to corporate cost cutting should we demand its reinstatement to help prevent a flu pandemic ???
How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?
I've already done it.
Fifi,
He hasn't even MENTIONED mine! I found a lovely one, too, just right for the frog (as you'll see if Lissa manages to sort things out for Eddie).
I might as well not exist.
Or my postcard.
Sniff.
RobbieDo; I think I'm me
Deeply Philosophical here. (Thank God for spellcheck)
I think therefore I am!
or was it
I thought therefore I was!!
Jonnie and Anne P,
If you'd read The Restaurant at the end of the Universe, you'd know where they had all gone.
In the swamp.
Big Sis....
Wouldn't a real Frogger shun the restaurant at the end of the end of the universe ...
... opting instead for a slap up Toad in the Black-Hole Pudding from the greasy spoon next door?
luv
luc
Where I was yesterday, there was plenty of fireworks, but not that many bonfires.
In any case, all these bust/brush/forest fires and the like around the world each summer will pump out loads more dioxins than a few bonfires. Or what about the number of homes, factories etc that go up in flames? Or stolen cars - all of which are arson, not due to an accident.
Big Sis, come on, pull yourself together and campaign to get your postcard recognised!
Eddie, what's happened to Big Sis's postcard?
And there's always the Roadkill Cafe
Bon Appetit!
ed
Hi Ed,
The Roadkill cafe is all well and good, but too much effort to scrape the road for the black pudding, I reckon.
luv
Big Sis (13):
I know, it's not fair is it? All your loyalty, defending him when we were all carping on about his technical ineptitude ... what's it all been for?
On the plus side, he did email you twice, by name, on the same day.
Perhaps he's scared of making Appy and me jealous.
A three-way girly boxing match on the frog would be an ugly way to end things....
Does Tony Blair sound more interesting when he flickers?
Mary
MaryMary (21):
No, that only happens when he stops talking.
Is this a good place to confess to having Tony on my list - along with Eddie, Johnny Depp, George Clooney et al.
No?
Thought not.
I probably don't mean it anyway...
Big Sis, I'm so consumed with envy I just can't contain myself! Couldn't you just get him to say hell to me or something??? (Sob).
That's it Appy, big it up for Big Sis.
She's still distraught about the postcard, you know.
Whereas you and I know, there is NOTHING to beat a personal blog from the Mayor.
Except maybe having a blog named after you, which Patricia achieved at the first attempt!
I could feel a bit inadequate... if I weren't a bigger person than that. Metaphorically speaking.
;o)
Well, can I join in this Girlyhuff please? It's ages since I sent my postcard and nary a mention nor a comment nor an email nor anything. I may as well just leave now.....
Btw Appy, why do you want him to say "hell" to you? Would that help?
PS - Did you hear Him giggling tonight when he couldn't think of the right expression? How charming it was (and I'm only attracted by his mind!).
tbh it was really more of a, kind of a, snicker than a giggle. Listen Again, as Lissa would say.
Fearless Fred (14)
Well, if you think you are you, then I don't think you need worry about seeking further confirmation. I do worry about marymary though who has two people trying to be her.
Fifi (23)
Don't even suggest that Tony Blair should stop talking. It's only when his lips move that we can tell he's lying.
Valery (26),
Well, words of undying love or even "How's about it pet?" would be my preferred expressions, but "Hell" would do as a start... :-)
I’m sure you have his undying fear...
Now Doc, that's just cruel. And anyway, if he's not scared of Ms Bland, why would he be scared of one who adores him so?
Why don't you concentrate on material that will educate, inform, or entertain?
Martin (33)
We do. What would educate, inform or entertain you?
Hmmm Vyle, I think we're all educated, informed, and entertained by Eddie and Sequin each weekday evening :-)
Aperitif (32) -
My (31) was meant in the best educational, informative and entertaining spirit.
So if I tell you I'm adding you to my list Doc, are you scared now???... :-)
RobbieDo (29):
I had exactly that in mind when I posted that comment.
Glad to see we're on the same wavelength as usual!
;oD
Hmm, how to answer that.... Scared is perhaps not the word, after all Eddie’s the one who doesn’t reply to you.
Do I sound unenthusiastic? Clearly I shouldn’t be.
Doc, What you sound is "unfathomable" actually. You're right - Eddie never responds - but that's because I have his tacit approval... (floats away in the manner of one who is happy to delude herself...)
OK. Well, let me add Thank You.
I don't really see what Martin Callingham is trying to say. It's fairly apparent that all parts of his triumvirate are present and correct. The "entertain" part is a given - or we wouldn't be here. Drinks has "informed" us of her "list" - which sounds fun! And Fifi and RobbieDo have attempted to "educate" us in the ways of political truisms.
I have another idea (I knew I was having it when I had to sit down) - let's instead try to concentrate on pomposity?
I know most of us try to avoid "too blatant" political commentary, but I clearly live in some sort of virtual "la-la-land" because I still think things are a bit better than they used to be. I don't agree with everything, and sometimes despair that people seem to shy away from "bold" ideas. But when ol' Bill C. warned the Labour party conference of the risk of assuming that the good that has been done will just continue to exist or be done, it sent a little chill down my spine. I expect I was pretty much alone.
John H (43),
You were not alone.
As to concentrating upon 'higher things', I may log on here blethering about lists and love for Eddie but it is precisely because I know it is not all that the PM Froggers cover that I feel comfortable doing it. It's like having a bunch of inteligent, friendly, opinionated but (usually) gentle colleagues and friends around - one moves from the serious to the random to the important to the trivial and around again. The pleasure's in the mixture.
John H (43),
You were not alone.
As to concentrating upon 'higher things', I may log on here blethering about lists and love for Eddie and other nonsense but it is precisely because I know it is not all that the PM Froggers cover that I feel comfortable doing it. It's like having a bunch of inteligent, friendly, opinionated but (usually) gentle colleagues and friends around - one moves from the serious to the random to the important to the trivial and around again. The pleasure's in the mixture.
Aperitif (44)
That's a bloody brilliant summary!
Aperitif
Your summary of the reason for being is bl**dy perfect!
Sorry that appeared twice. I thought they had moderated my reply out as it took 2.5 hours to appear - hence the asterisks!
Thank you RobbieDo - twice! A, x.