³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

December the 5th

Comments

1. At 10:07 AM on 05 Dec 2006, Big Sister wrote:

   Jonnie, What a lovely tree! And I'm sure this year's one is/will be at least as nice.

   Glad to see you are 'traditional' in your choice of decoration, etc. But then I'm a Radio 4 listener, aren't I?

2. At 10:22 AM on 05 Dec 2006, The Stainless Steel Cat wrote:

   SB 1(?)

   Ooo! Pretty!

   And now, since I need to rant or my head will explode, may I present...

   My Top 5 Annoyances of 2006

   (That should be bold or even double size for the proper effect)

   1) Drivers who don't know or care that a red traffic light means STOP!
   I've got used to the fact that most drivers these days couldn't care less that the Highway Code tells them to stop at the amber light (unless that would be unsafe), but red-light running, even if there are people crossing the road with the Green Man right in front of them is becoming endemic. I think myself lucky that I was only nearly knocked down twice last night. Last year, when I had the temerity to shake my head at a driver who had roared through a red-lit junction, just coming to a stop on the edge of the crossing, she slowly drove her car across the crossing until her bumper nudged my shopping bag. I was too unnerved to take her number and report her to the police, but I should have.

   2) Cyclists who can't decide whether they are vehicles or pedestrians.
   If they're a vehicle they should stay on the road. If they want to travel on the pavement or cross a road on a pedestrian crossing (there's a clue in the name there), they should get off their bottoms and walk.

   3) Drivers who park on (and almost completely block) pavements.
   Utterly selfish. I couldn't care less that they've been short sighted enough to buy a car without considering where they're going to park it. It's their responsibility to find a parking place that doesn't inconvenience others by e.g. forcing them to walk on a busy road, especially people with baby-buggies or dogs.

   4) Drivers who think a loud exhaust makes their rubbish little souped-up hatchback sound like a quality performance sports car.
   It doesn't. It makes their car sound like it has a broken exhaust. It also makes people wonder why the driver is so desperate for attention. (Waggles little finger.)

   5) People with electric lights, santas, snowmen etc draped all over their houses.
   It's tacky and very irresponsible: it wastes energy from precious non-renewable sources. What is the ****ing point of people like me switching off lights, VCRs etc when they're not in use to save a few watts here and there when people - and local councils - seem determined to burn as much energy as humanly possible?

   Thank you. That was very theraputic.

   (In case any of you were wondering, I didn't get my promotion. Could you tell?)

3. At 10:29 AM on 05 Dec 2006, Big Sister wrote:

   SSC - They've underestimated you. Complain.

4. At 10:40 AM on 05 Dec 2006, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

   SSC (2)

   Interesting that your annoyances are mostly traffic-related.

   Your no. 3) bothers me, too. I know of an example where someone does this, as far as I can tell, because they are too lazy walk across the full width of the pavement to get to their front door! Funnily enough, a few wing mirrors get knocked out of position when this phenomena occurs...

   Your no. 5) seems to be encouraged by local television news programmes, who seem keen to ask viewers for pictures of the ‘best’ decorated houses, etc.

   I have a few annoyances of my own, and more than five, but quite a lot relate to (my perceived) misuse of the English language - as opposed to the English literature.

5. At 10:48 AM on 05 Dec 2006, valery p wrote:

   SSC - chin up, they obviously don't know what they're missing!
   
   xxx V xxx

6. At 10:50 AM on 05 Dec 2006, valery p wrote:

   Happy Birthday to You, Madmary! I do wish you'd change your name again though, I feel like I'm insulting you.

7. At 10:52 AM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

   SSC (2)

   I read of your cousin's exploits long ago, and recognised the family resemblence the first time we met.

   Reference your first complaint. Once in New York, on the nth time a car pulled fully into the pedestrian crosswalk at an intersection, I just stepped up and walked right across his bonnet (hood), back down and carried on. He jumped out and gave chase. I ran, and he soon realised he'd left his car running and gave up. It was one of the most satisfying bits of pedestrian rage I can remember.

   Steam should ALWAYS give way to sail, and sail to swimmers.

   Reference your complaints against cyclists, I found (in NYC again) that it was easiest to get about by cycling the 'wrong' way on one-way streets. You could see the traffic coming, and they you. The only drawback was pedestrians who would step out between cars looking the 'wrong' way.....

   Yours,
   A Defiant Pedestrian
   ed

8. At 11:02 AM on 05 Dec 2006, silver-fox wrote:

   Oh yes the nobel fir with traditional foliage. Scented to create a warm, clam harmonious and comfortable atmosphere - I like it.

9. At 11:19 AM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

   SSCat : drummer! flossers! bunch of bankers!*

   Why does anyone still subscribe to this old fashioned divisive notion that 'competition' among colleagues leads to greater efficiency -- or any other benefit?

   I have to say, Puss, that it was only once I left the world of direct employment that I started to a) get praise and thanks from clients, for what felt to me like 'just doing my job', and b) realise how good I was.

   When it comes to promotion and restructuring, I firmly believe that decisions are made based on politics and personalities, not the ability or potential of the candidates. The same is true of recruitment.

   One more thing: they usually like to keep the GOOD ones doing the basic job, because they ARE good at it. They can be trusted to deliver. If they start promoting people like you elsewhere, who'll they have to do the work?

   * Fifi's Rhyming Slang

10. At 11:22 AM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    SSC, I definitely agree with your number 5 complaint. They look tacky, waste energy, and contribute to light pollution. There's even ones where they have music as well, which takes it to a new level of naffness....

11. At 11:27 AM on 05 Dec 2006, Vyle Hernia wrote:

    SSC - Commiserations re your promotion effort.

    Must say I agree in principle with your rants, though No. 3 is likely to get worse with changes to T & C Planning...

12. At 11:28 AM on 05 Dec 2006, Carl Goss wrote:

    You've cut the Angel off! Or perhaps you have a effigy of Eddie on top.
    By the way... forgot the bl**dy camera! So off to buy a disposable at lunchtime.

13. At 11:32 AM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Thanks Silver ;-) Shame I missed the fairy though!

    I mentioned to the sound guy who is doing the Bournemouth Panto that if they are rehearsing at 5PM he should take a photo for a thing that ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Radio is doing.

    He is twenty something with an anorak, so I'd doubted he'd even heard of Radio 4 (let alone Eddie)

    To my astonishment he exclaimed, Oh the Eddie Mair photo's thing -- yes I'm gonna do that! Even more astounded when I found out he'd read the Blog! Small world - Big station.

    Off to add some funnies to Fifi's bits!

14. At 11:57 AM on 05 Dec 2006, Joe Palooka wrote:

    Re tree: Where's the fairy?

15. At 12:48 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    A nice, early newsletter today - arrived at 12.33.

    Eddie's promising a snap of his microphone .....

16. At 12:54 PM on 05 Dec 2006, james wrote:

    jonnie, you forgot to include a picture of the flashing lights draped all over the hotel.. all over the garden.. it goes on...

17. At 01:22 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Delores Behan-Ingland (Mrs) wrote:

    Eddie,

    It'll be great to see a 'photo' of your microphone. I've always wanted to know the colour of the sponge thing - that's on the end of it.

18. At 01:33 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    So, Eddie, when you have to talk about the Fiji coup, will you be able to not think about the army man as Colonel Bananarama?

    I can't decide what to put in my photo tonight. Vegetables? The compost bucket? The cat getting his tea? The possibilities are endless (but not usually very glamorous).

    SSC, my sympathies on your disppointment. Glad to see it hasn't made you bitter & twisted. You were just too good for them. They were scared you would show them up if they moved you upstairs. Forget the job - go for world domination instead. You & that cousin of yours - you could do anything!
    BTW- I know someone who has some boots made out of coypu.He bought them in South America. Guinea pig footwear - now there's a talking point!

19. At 01:33 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Sara wrote:

    SS Puss - Your complaint (3) is a real concern for my 92 yr old mother who rides a mobility scooter. She has had some terrifying moments trying to get round such blockages - cars, even lorries, and one time a very large lorry which just set off as she was trying to get through the very narrow gap he left on the pavement. She's always afraid she won't quite manage to get round things and might even tip over onto the road. Even wheelie bins are a real hazard for her.

    Sorry about the lack of promotion, btw - you're obviously too good at what you are doing now!

    My real frustration today is that for once in a blue moon I'm not in my office. I had my 5 pm photo all planned - I was going to check the fax machine and snap it where it sits on top of the most amazing huge iron kitchen range manufactured in Brum about 200 years or so ago. That's because my basement office was once the kitchen of a very large house. As it's a listed building we have to keep the old alongside the new.

    So that's the sort of thing I'm looking at at 5 pm almost every b***dy day of my my life - except today! I might snap it another day and send it anyway and Eddie might post it up somewhere.

    Very odd being at home. SO has gone out to lunch with work chums so I might empty the dishwasher.

20. At 01:36 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    Oh it's beautiful Johnnie - well done you!

    But where is Mary's pic? It's Mary's birthday today so we need her photo please Eric. Actually someone else had better tell him - you know he doesn't respond to me.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY! Hope you have a lovely day.

    SSCat, commiserations, and I hope your little vent of spleen helped you to feel better. You are of course right about all kinds of things.

21. At 01:46 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    December the 5th, at 5 PM

    The world stood still

    For a photo.

    (Just trying out to see if brevity=profundity. Possibly not here)

22. At 01:51 PM on 05 Dec 2006, admin annie wrote:

    
    SSC - commiserations re the promotion thing.
    Sadly fifi's comments about keeping peopple doing things they are good at and other people flying past them are all too true.

    My pet hate traffic wise is also cyclsit related, apologies to all cycling froggers who I am sure do not ignore red lights on the grounds that they do not apply to cyclists. The last time I told a cyclist that actually red lights did apply to him too in W Yorkshire after he had just ignored one I got a mouthful of effing and blinding, despite the fact the guy was in his 40s and had a briefcase balanced on the back.

    And every time I remember that I remember another half dozen reasons why we moved here.

23. At 02:16 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Thanks Appy :-)

    Well trust Mary to have a birthday the very day that Eddie has realised he's just about to receive millions of pictures.

    Eric,

    Aperatif wants to know where Mary's Pic is ??

    Annasee has just sent this through. It's very funny if you like Panda's

24. At 02:23 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Joe Palooka wrote:

    Hey, Tin cat, (2).

    Don't fret about the job thing. We've all been there, just keep on frogging...

    THE 100 MOST ANNOYING THINGS FOR ME ARE...

    1. Cold callers
    2. Caravans
    3. Queue jumpers
    4. Pete Doherty
    5. Traffic wardens
    6. Tailgaters
    7. Brown nosers
    8. Chantelle and Preston
    9. Ex-smokers
    10. Noisy neighbours
    11. Hangovers
    12. Carol Vorderman
    13. Loud mobile users
    14. Men in flip-flops
    15. Paper cuts
    16. Bad hair days
    17. Breaking wind
    18. Abi Titmuss (right)
    19. Off milk
    20. Being put on hold
    21. Motorcyclists who weave through traffic
    22. Drivers who park in disabled bays
    23. Rude shop assistants
    24. People who read over your shoulder
    25. Skinny people who complain they are fat
    26. Stepping in dog poo
    27. Big Brother
    28. Noisy eaters
    29. People who don't clear up after their dog
    30. Slow drivers in the outside lane
    31. Junk mail
    32. Bossiness
    33. Novelty ring tones
    34. Somebody nicking your parking spot
    35. Diahorrea
    36. Debt companies
    37. Snobs
    38. Jehovah's Witnesses
    39. Running out of loo roll
    40. People who have their phone turned off when you call them
    41. Mosquitoes
    42. Buses not arriving on time
    43. Children who cough in your face
    44. Being bloated
    45. Leaving your mobile at home
    46. Americans
    47. David Blane
    48. Spots
    49. Stepping in chewing gum
    50. Running out of hot water
    51. Wasps
    52. Headaches
    53. Crazy Frog
    54. London Tube
    55. Losing your glasses
    56. Warm beer
    57. CDs that skip
    58. Paper jam
    59. Bottled water
    60. Sunburn
    61. Running out .. of change
    62. People who .. text in capitals
    63. Estate agents
    64. Stubbing your toe
    65. Rubbish printers
    66. Flat tyres
    67. People who write 'text back' in texts
    68. The local council
    69. Russell Brand
    70. The Teletubbies
    71. A pen which has run out of ink
    72. Cat hair that sticks to your clothes
    73. Running out of petrol
    74. Flatmates who don't clean
    75. Heat rash
    76. Losing your passport
    77. Natasha Kaplinsky
    78. Being hungry
    79. Tax returns
    80. Road works
    81. Cramp
    82. Shoppers hitting your heels with their trolley
    83. Failing your driving test
    84. Burning toast
    85. Cold showers
    86. Scientology
    87. Not being able to find a matching pair of socks
    88. Missing the last post
    89. Chihuahuas
    90. Karaoke
    91. Stomach ache
    92. PDA (public displays of affection)
    93. Craig David
    94. Secret workers before exams
    95. Chris Evans
    96. Pimped up cars
    97. Getting something in your eye
    98. Out-of-tune singers
    99. Hollyoaks
    100. The Government.

    NB - I no particular order. Other lists are available.
    

25. At 02:29 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Member of the Public wrote:

    THE soul-searching by some Labour MPs, and prominent clergy, over the replacement of Trident was as predictable as the December rain.
    However, Tony Blair's opponents overlook one fundamental fact when they criticise the Prime Minister for taking a decision that, for once, is in Britain's best long-term interests.
    Trident is a nuclear deterrent. And just because this country possesses such weapons does not mean that they will necessarily be fired in anger.
    They do, however, enable Britain to command great influence on the world stage, a point epitomised when Aneurin Bevin, one of the towering figures of the post-war Labour Party, famously said that giving up the bomb would mean Britain's Foreign Secretary "going naked into the conference chamber" in international negotiations. This warning is applicable today as it was when Mr Bevin addressed anti-nuclear protesters in 1957.
    For, while the Cold War may have come to a peaceful denouement, in no small part because the Soviet Union recognised the potential threat posed by Trident, it cannot be predicted with any certainty how global events will develop over the next 20 years, a period in which Britain's nuclear submarines will reach the end of their working lives.
    The West remains largely in the dark about the nuclear intentions of Iran and North Korea, two of the countries named in President George W Bush's infamous "axis of evil" speech, not to mention China in its new role as global nuclear superpower.
    Likewise, no one can predict, with any accuracy, how the global terrorist threat posed by al-Qaida, and its various splinter groups in the Islamic world, will be successfully resolved.
    Given this backdrop, it would be very short-sighted of Mr Blair were he to give up one of Britain's key bargaining tools in order to appease a vociferous minority within Labour's ranks.
    Of course, it would be preferential, in an ideal world, for the vast sum involved to be spent on the NHS or improving schools. But it is not an ideal world and that is precisely why the Prime Minister must hold his nerve and place Britain's long-term security interests before the disaramament agenda advocated by his more short-sighted opponents.

26. At 02:43 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Eddie, I agree with Apritif and jonnie; You should really put Marys' pic up as an extra treat. It is her birthday after all...

    p.s. Saying hello to Aperitif as well would be a good idea. She's beginning to think you don't like her!

27. At 02:48 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    Re strapline, Well done Doc - but how do you know?

28. At 02:56 PM on 05 Dec 2006, The Stainless Steel Cat wrote:

    Everybody:

    Thanks for your kind words. The trouble with the "promotion" was that it was actually a regrading designed to give me a title and pay to match what I'm actually doing. Unfortunately I do so many things apart from / as well as my core job that I couldn't make a good enough case that it *was* my core job. Oh well, I'm too useful, me.
    Actually, looking around the department, it looks like people only got a better grade if it didn't actually mean any more money. Cynical, me?

    Good to see some of my irritations striking a chord. We should rise up and do... something. I don't know what though. Have a cup of tea?

    Annasee:
    Coypu boots... kinky or not? I suppose they are if you are a coypu.

    Ed:
    If I'm not around tomorrow, you'll know I've tried your bonnet-walking trick and it hasn't quite worked...

    Looking forward to seeing everyone's photos from later today!

29. At 03:12 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Yesterday, I sent my photos of Miami Florida for the Advent Calender via pm@bbc.co.uk. I hope you have received them.

30. At 03:13 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    Anne (21) -

    We all count as road users, even pedestrians. I am irritated when drivers do not indicate, etc., when I am waiting to cross the road. If I’d known (you) were heading into that turning, I wouldn’t have stood here like an idiot waiting for (you) to pass... Etc...

31. At 03:29 PM on 05 Dec 2006, enoch ramsbottom wrote:

    Christmas Shopping,

    The wife is shopping for Christmas gifts,
    With purchases small and large.
    She doesn't believe in Santa Claus,
    She believes in Mastercard!
    

32. At 03:33 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    Joe:

    I'd like a 56, followed by a 84 with 58 on it and a side portion of 8, then 19, but with a 99 flake, please, and ending up with 44.

    Thank you.

33. At 03:35 PM on 05 Dec 2006, whisky-joe wrote:

    Eddie,

    How is yer? I been preparing for the big day. You can too.

    CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

    You'll need the following:

    1 cup of water
    1 cup of sugar
    4 large brown eggs
    2 cups of dried fruit
    1 teaspoon of salt
    1 cup of brown sugar
    Lemon juice
    Nuts
    1 bottle of whisky
    
    Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it's the
    highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter
    in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK.
    Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
    fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.
    Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
    Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon the sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget
    to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again and go to bed.

34. At 03:55 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    Oh whisky -oe, give me three slices, please!

35. At 04:02 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Fiona wrote:

    May I just add my (somewhat belated) commiserations to you SSC - I know exactly how you feel, on the job thing and your list!

    And Joe Palooka (24) loved your list! Am with you on quite a few of those - in particular Russell Brand! Sorry, just dont get the attraction there!.

    Lovely tree Jonnie. Am feeling slightly miffed myself - I sent in my contribution (a shot of some reindeer no less! - ok one reindeer, and a very small one at that) - but alas it has not appeared.

    Happy birthday Mary (sorry can't do MadMary - just makes me think of those phones-4-u ads and I am sure you are nothing like her!)

36. At 04:15 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Susan Orty-Boyden wrote:

    whisky-joe,

    Brilliant!

37. At 04:16 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    (27)

    Davros was here with information on the Daleks’ foreign policy last month. Did you miss it? If they were allowed to do it on the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳, I’m sure they’d be swearing all over the galaxy.

38. At 04:27 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Okay, Joe (24) a few comments on your list (with credit to Messers Punt & Dennis)

    2. Caravans So maybe that's why so many people have it in for Margaret Beckett
    9. Ex-smokers No-one should smoke their old girl/boy-friend
    19. Off milk Lovely! milky-milky
    21. Motorcyclists who weave through traffic Well, it's difficult to fit a loom to a motorbike
    22. Drivers who park in disabled baysSimple answer: make them eligble the hard way!
    47. David Blaine Fair enough, but I'd expect the g*t wizard to appear higher up this list...
    50. Running out of hot water Not as bad as running into hot water
    55. Losing your glasses Let me come with you. I can see, I can see perfectly
    58. Paper jam I prefer strawberry myself
    62. People who .. text in capitals If they live in one, where else are they supposed to text?
    72. Cat hair that sticks to your clothes especially if it's still stuck to the cat
    79. Tax returns Oh no it doesn't!
    80. Road works Not round here, they don't!

    FFred

39. At 04:35 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    I agree with everything SSC (2) but can I add to it pedestrians who run accross the road whilst wearing black, and cyclists who sneak up in my blind spot as I am leaving traffic lights; I don't want to hit either of them! Anyone who parks on the pavement is selfish, and causing an obstruction if there isn't room for a pram/wheelchair to pass by them, you can report it... & Fifi is right in fact, EVERYONE should watch The Corporation if you haven't already. Amongst other things, it describes the attributes of a company as if it was a human being, in which case it would be pathalogical!

    madmary HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Eddie, I promise I shall take my photo @ 5pm, despite fact that SO has put memory card in his phone??? Have nicked the one from the Sat Nav, but have no idea how to transmit it from camera to computer to you... There are some jobs I have to leave to SO in order to avoid becoming chief cook & bottle washer & IT helpdesk!

40. At 04:50 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Rufus T. Firefly wrote:

    W-Joe

    I've been on a whisky diet. I lost three days last week.

    Cheers!

41. At 05:07 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Stewart M wrote:

    Picture Taken and now on PC. I think I need to compress it! Luckily lots of same colour so Jpeg cpmpression should work well.
    Remembered I have a camera (of sorts) at work.

42. At 05:14 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Wow, Member of the Public, that's quite a maiden speech you've got there!

    Welcome to the blog.

    I don't agree with all that you say ... I believe communication has moved on since the Cold War days, and there are threats other than out-and-out nuclear annihilation that fulfil the deterrent role now.

    But I completely respect your point of view, having grown up in the Cold War era and been brought up to regard it as the only possible approach. It was a no-brainer at the time.

    I know many others will agree with you that, fundamentally, nothing has changed. Maybe I'm just a hopeless optimist.

    In which case it's probably a good job I've never gone further into politics as a career than parish council level!

    Fifi

43. At 05:47 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Thanks all for the Birthday Wishes. Aperitif I'm beginning to know how it feels when Eddie ignores you. My picture wasn't as lovely as jonnie's Christmas tree though.

    I've taken a photo at 5pm. It's all black except for a tiny orange dot. I have no idea what that is. It's through the window of my car on the drive back from Redditch Magistrates Court. I can say that the roads aren't actually as dark as my picture came out, but what a bleak window on my world on my birthday.

    Mary

    PS if people don't want to call me madmary then just Mary will do. However, that nickname brought me some good fortune in a strange sort of way so I like to use it. One day I'll explain.

44. At 06:00 PM on 05 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Re: Fiona (35)

    I'm sure your Reindeer will pop up.

    I sent my tree in a few days ago and was very shocked to see it there
    

45. At 06:39 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    Fearless (38) - great stuff! LOL!

    Fifi (42), Um, Member of the Public has been here many time before. Definitely. But I like the way you always welcome people and I suppose a late welcome is better than no welcome at all!

46. At 09:20 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    Welcome, Aperitif.

47. At 11:45 PM on 05 Dec 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    Thanks Doc, and the same to you.

48. At 09:32 AM on 06 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Why thank you, Appy :-) I can't claim true credit, of course, but I though they were worth repeating! Thank you, podcasts of the Now Show! It kept the list fresh in my mind...