The Beach
Well, I thought SOMEONE had better refresh the Beach...
What is the Beach?
It’s a place to go when the stresses of your real life need relieving. Sometimes it is fairly quiet and you might feel like you’re the only one around, but you can leave your ‘footprints’ for others to find later on. Othertimes it is the home for a real party, with constant gossip, leg-pulling, rumour, innuendo, chit-chat and weirdness.
If this were a forum (and it sort of is because we post responses to each other, not just to Eddie, hence our term for ourselves 'Froggers', a combination of forum and blogger) then the beach would be the off-topic area.
It's a tropical location, no matter the time of year it's always warm and pleasant there.
Sunrises and sunsets are spectacular, the evenings balmy. It has a number of different locations; the Nick Clarke waterfront bar; the smokers corner; Fido's Run for the dog-walkers; the Naughty Step and many others.
How do you find your way around? There is no direct answer to the question.
The beach is a moveable feast, literally. It will be renewed by our Lord and master Mr. Edward de Mair each Friday morning. This is because we have found in the past that when the number of posts exceeds about 600 the entire thing becomes unwieldy and unstable. A case of the beach turning to quicksand.
Froggers often leave bottles / glasses / trays of their favourite tipple on the bar for others to sample, not to mention big / small eats.
There is a herd of camels who frequent the sands, which froggers are very fond of. There are sun-loungers, so you can take it easy and catch some rays. Quite often the late-night attendees will have a barbie.
It's a fun place, with only one real rule; Be nice to each other; we are ALL chums here. New Froggers are ALWAYS welcome.
The real debate happens on the other threads. The beach is a place for banter, whimsy, relaxation and friendship, where jarring comments are not particularly welcome. There are certain very mild protocols, which you tend to pick up as you go along. So slip your shoes off, feel the sand between your toes, relax and enjoy yourself.
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Am I first to run across the sandy shore... barefoot...
anth was the first to run across the shore; the pisceans among us lurk in the shallows, occasionally spitting pebbles and hoping that if there is cake at any point, some crumbs may be dropped into the surf either by accident or on purpose. Bullseyes are good too, if not too large. Marshmallows, such as someone might put to melt in hot chocolate, are never unwelcome....
Yes, I am an inveterate scrounger. And your point was? (grin)
thanks Edde.
well there's not many of us here so let's have some of this lovely thick spanish hot chocolate that I've brought over in a large flask, also some churros to dip in it. I prefer them to marshmallows but for those who don't - there's a big bag of marshmallows too.
It's still light where I live, so I'm not really surprised to find it's still light onthe beach as well. Anth - can you chuck a few more logs on that fire? and oh look - I've just discovered a small bottle of brandy on the NCM Bar which we can add to the hot chocolate....looks like it should be a good night.
Mmmmmm! Fantastic hot choccy AAnnie!
I persuaded the camels to drag some more logs from the other side of the bay for the bonfire, so here goes.....
urrr...heeaaave...(no! not that sort!)....thrroww
(I said NOT that sort!!).....ooo there it goes!
Sparks everywhere!
Perfect for roasting those marshmallows on.
Now, who's got the brandy?
Just what I need Annie (4)
***(do you ever feel like you have created a monster)?
Hi froglets!
I've got some more of those prizewinning sausages and a selections of liquid refreshments. Now where's the Liffey?
Some folks might be amused that I've lost two computers to lightning strikes, but I enjoyed the thunder and lightening today. Great to be fully wireless.
It's midnight and still not really dark. Off for a walk
xx
ed
Chris Ghoti (2):
Yes, I am an inveterate scrounger.
Meanwhile, the limpets clinging to the rocks further up the beach ask anyone who passes to buy them breakfast.
Yes, they're the invertebrate scroungers.
SSC - Hahahaha! Far too clever so early in the morning!
gossippM. I've got the brandy, I was alexandering it on the last beach.
Ah, a fresh beach, *bliss*. Anyone mind if I pull up the sunlounger, tip a hat over my eyes and snooze the rest of the day? I can't work out if it's 4am, 10am, or 5pm. I come bearing supplies of a lovely Porter (that's the beer, not the delightful Lucy, who I will keep to myself!), as well as a couple of bottles of red & white that I managed to purloin on my way here....
And there was me still posting on the old beach! Sheesh!
SSCat (8) Hahahaha!
Anyone fancy a gentle swim? I'm still feeling a bit low and they say exercise produces a natural high...
aperatif,, speedo's on (head) andI'll swim to the headland with you.
I did not realise the Today camper van really is the vw iconic camper van.
SSCat (8) that's a bit shellfish of them, don'tyathink? May be they should ask a mermaid, them being the only ones with purses...
Stewart M - were you rubbing it into your back then?
Mr Eddie was on the beach very late last night, or was he up even earlier that usual? Or in another timezone perhaps?
Ed I I do hope you're wearing rubber-soled plimsolls!
A lovely new beach - very welcome - as the blog is very frayed at the edges - half posted pictures lying around.
Appy - Can we have another swim together, I'm on my diet now so hopefully in a week or two I'll be a more fitting specimen to match your beautiful figure :-)
Eddie (4) Forgot to mention that I for one enjoyed 'Cleaning out the Camp'
Some interesting discussion earlier in the week explaining what the word 'Camp' meant.
For those sho missed Eddies programme - here is part one :-
/radio/aod/shows/rpms/radio4/clearingoutthecamp.ram
Admin Annie! Chocolate y churros! (sp?) Takes me back to old Seville...
Stewart - what's alexandering?
And as for you, SSC, watch out for the selfish shellfish. They may warm the cockles of your heart, but they've got strong mussels, you know. And they're not friendly - they tend to clam up. If they turn nasty, you might have to limpet back to the sand.
Eddie Mair? Who he?
Jonnie (16) How kind. Part two - if I may say so - is even better!
How lovely, Eddie - a new beach to frolick on. Not that I'm doing much frolicking after the whiskey I drank last night......
I need a swim, I think, and then, to continue the Spanish theme, I've brought a paella down for lunch, along with some crusty bread. No accompanying wine for me though ;)
Eddie - hope you had a good break and are as refreshed as I wish I was!
xx
So are you wearing your new t-shirt Eddie?
I'm wearing a bit of a hangover as we had the first of the birthday celebrations last night. We managed to get a lift home on a courtesy bus so a good time was had by ALL (except the bus driver, one hopes).
Some freshly ground Ethiopian Sidamo in a tin on the side there, help yourself and make a brew.
Frances o. Alexandering a brandy is adding, cream, creme de cocoa, and crushed ice. And also perhaps nutmeg. mmmm. Not normally rubbed on gossipm. But if thats your fancy... see you in the naughty corner.
Stewart M - is that
rubbed on, gossipm
or
rubbed on gossipm???!!
Aunt D - just caught up with you on last week's beach, if you are still within striking distance of a pc, Fifi has my email address and I'm sure she would oblige. Wouldn't you Feefs?
Hello everyone,
Gosh Stewart that was refreshing! But if you're gonna wear your speedoes on your head you really ought to put something else on you-know-where ;-) Don't worry, I won't tell anyone!
Yes, Jonnie, let's go off for another circuit of the buoys -- while your compliments are most welcome I'm afraid I am somewhat out of shape lately. I need a few more swims before I dare put that bikini on again, so race you! Coming Perky?
Frances (17) Hahaha but groan!
Eddie (18), Ears are at the ready!
Val (20), Hope the hangover has subsidided. When my email is as easy to get at as the beach (fingers crossed for the middle of next week) I will get around to replying to you, honest!
Oh and, everyone, I posted the following on the last beach this morning, then realised this one was here:
"Thank you for all the comforting words. I had to do something I really didn't want to, and I will probably be sad about it for quite some time yet. However, after posting last night I did drink lots more wine and then go to Favourite Restaurant and flirt outrageously with Favourite Waiter, which always makes me feel better.
Fishy Banana, thanks for the gorilla (?!?!)"
See you in half an hour, soaking wet, red-cheeked, out of breath and hungry!
A, x.
Back from not so much Sunny Scotland as Runny Scotland.
Appy, I'm sorry to see you looking so down. Give me a shout off-lilypad if you fancy a chat.
Jonnie, your diet's obviously working already... you're looking well fit in your new speedoes!
Now, where did this empty brandy bottle come from? Must be a full one somewhere....
Fifi
Thanks Feefs (25) I will mail you as soon as I can get proper access to my emails (I'm hoping that will be next week sometime). Meantime I'm just a bit sad about one thing -- I'm otherwise fine thanks.
Hope you had a great, if wet, time.
A, x.
Oh this is so not malicious!
Fifi @25, the octopodes have just unearthed another of those bottles with 'Napoleon' on it -- and I do mean unearthed, it was in a small pile of sand and coral fragments next to their cave -- and brought it up to the edge of the beach, so if you paddle out to where I am doing these leaps into the air you'll find it. Looks full to me. Your health! Share it around.
Welcome back Fifi; and Appy, I hope you're feeling less sad today. I should think the sight of Stewart with his speedos on his head would be enough to cheer anyone up...it certainly gave me a shock when I put my head under water.
If not, however, let's dig up some more of the brandy and share it out.
Now, I'm not a fan of brandy. Really not. So, clearly my palate needs educating ... and I'm all for education!
Any advice?
Perhaps I should try drinking it very, very slowly.
Orveryfastindeed?
???
Fifi ;o)
Jonnie;
I'd meant to listen to Eddie's 'other' prog on Thursday night but was indulging in a chinwag over a beer with a couple of old college chums in Brighton, so missed it.
Following your point above I went and had a listen. I'd been anticipating it because of my former service in the Navy. I thought there might be some interesting revelations about the whole thing. Sadly I was disappointed, there wasn't much in there that I hadn't known before. It was mostly a recitation of similar stories, just with the names changed. I'd hoped for more illumination. I guess that I'm probably not in the target audience. I'll listen to Pt.2 even so, since Eddie says that it is better.
If I had to hazard a guess then I'd say it was aimed at a younger audience, who would not have known that there used to be an absolute ban on homosexuality in the Armed Forces and for whom this might be a shock, or a revelation. Why this aspect of history is a topic for a programme now, when this is history, may be relevant to Pt.2.
One point that was missed, which might be in Pt. 2. One reason given for that attitude was that it laid you open to blackmail, and this certainly occurred, Vassall was mentioned. But there is also an extant ban on married couples working together in the Forces. It raises the prospect of either promoting your spouses' interests unfairly, or of a breakdown in discipline when one spouse looks after the others welfare in combat, abandoning their post at the expense of all their shipmates safety.
Even now, although it no longer results in a criminal conviction, I believe it is only tolerated on the US basis of 'Don't ask, don't tell'. It is neither encouraged, nor condoned. Despite that, married quarters are now available to unmarried couples in a long term relationship. Not sure if that includes those in a civil partnership though.
Since it was widely known (and explained to recruits on signing up, to my certain knowledge) that homosexuality was illegal in the Forces that tended to dissuade homosexuals from joining, whilst passively encouraging recruitment from those who disliked homosexuality.
Naturally that bred a macho atmosphere, where young chaps would attempt to outdo each other in laddish (or yobbish, if you like) behaviour and any form of sensitivity or interest in the finer points of life was viewed with disdain and even suspicion. Any single bloke who didn't want to go out on the town drinking and whoring was regarded as suspect and the 'gay' jibes usually followed. Believe me, I know.
But it was not universal. When I was at an establishment in Hampshire there was a man of some years service who was widely known to be gay. Despite this he was admired and respected amongst the men for his ability and professionalism, and for keeping it away from his workplace.
When he split up with his partner the former boyfriend 'grassed' him to the Naval authorities, who had no option but to dismiss him within 48 hours. To add insult this can only be done by 'Warranted' punishment, where the document is counter-signed by an Admiral. It then has to be read out in full, with the 'guilty' party held under arrest by Naval police in front of an assembled body of his peers.
It was shameful, and distressing, for all concerned who knew the man in question. During the reading of the punishment warrant the name and address of the accuser was read out openly. Within a week his home was smashed and he was driven out. Not for being gay, but for ratting on a good man.
I must stress that whilst I was present at the warrant reading, simply because I happened to be available, I honestly had nothing to do with the actions which followed, nor do I have any inkling of who did it. I would not have taken part, but understood the motivations of those who did, venting their anger at the pointless destruction of their friend's career by a jilted ex-lover.
Si.
I am back from re-filling the fridge (and the bar!) and am now sitting in the gazebo with the laptop, listening to the 'Camp' piece thanks to Jonnie's helpful link.
And amid the sound of someone strimming, a couple of gardens away, and the enthusiastic birdsong ... ... thunder!
Am I in danger? Could the metal framework of the gazebo attract lightning, to zap me? Is the laptop itself at risk?
Sod that: I've got a shiraz cabernet with me out here. If I go, I'll die happy!
Pass that glass while there's still a bit left in the bottle....
Fifi
Feefs;
re; drinking brandy. For a sipping brandy try Otard XO cognac. It's not easy to find in the U.K., but worth the effort. I'm not a fan of brandy, but this one is a delight, one to serve when treasured friends are visiting you.
How to drink. Roll it around in the glass, so the warmth of your hands releases the bouquet. Get a big lungfull of that scent, then sip s l o w l y.
If you want a glopping brandy, or one to put in the Xmas pud/cake, then Hennessy VS is good enough.
Si.
Groan and grin back, Appy. And whatever the problem was (real life keeping me busy), I hope it's going to be easier now.
Stewart, thank you for the info. Not wise to rub it on Gossipmrs, as it might attract stingy insects. Maybe after dark? But I'll leave you two to discuss that.
As for this unending hoard of unalexandered brandy, I have a feeling our beach might soon resemble the island of Todday.
Not the Todday programme, of course. That's Sequin's territory.
Si - I haven't heard the programme yet (thanks, jonnie), but what you've said makes me fume.
Speaking of fumes... I remember fondly the days when I was taught to appreciate single malts. S l o w pleasure.
And feefs - a roll of thunder while I was pottering in the garden - nipped back indoors - no rain. Odd.
Si (30): Persecuting someone for being gay has always seemed to me like persecuting someone for not liking tomatoes: everyone doesn't like the same things, and why should it matter to tomato-likers anyway?
Si (32): Ah, thankyou! I shall, next time there's an opportunity to educate myself as to why people like the stuff, know how to give myself the best chance of appreciating it. As well as looking the part!
Fifi xx
apertif, 24 I wondered why I felt free! and perky I got an even bigger shock when I looked. I think Jonnie probably has the better speedo body! Just getting ready for Dr Who back in June. Two kids bathed. I think a beer will go down well. Doing something with scallops and cream for tea. Still got some very ripe goats cheese to finish off also
Off out for the evening, as it's my last Saturday night with SO before we move out, and we've been busting a gut all day clearing and sorting (why are ovens always such a b****rd to clean??)
Hope it's a lovely evening on the beach - may pop back later to see if Stewart's got himself together again ;)
Meanwhile, a variety of nibbles on the bar to get the evening off to a start, including some little nuts....
OK guys I am in need of a large measure of single malt, not from the western isles, I need something very alcoholic but gentle.
At the risk of being accused of advertising as per another thread, and twice at that: -
today was the day we had our first ever visitors in our holiday rental flat. Husband of course was doing something else vital at the far end of the place this morning so I had to get up at the crack of dawn to be driven over to do last minute clean up, fill hamper etc. Literally minutes before the visitors arrived I discovered that none of the ceiling lights were working, and worse still, all the circuits on the circuit breaker were labelled and none of them governed lights. Not a good moment. So they now have all our incidental lamps and we're desperately trying to find a local electrician and the time to babysit him while he mends whatever it is. that's broken.
And for my second advert - tonight I saw my son in Alan Plater's Festival Play Tales from the Golden Slipper. If any of you are going to be in Embra at Festival time I recommend you look out for this - it's on the fringe for a week. I say this not because my son is in it, although he brought a tear or two to my eye, but because the play is great, Alan Plater on really good form and lots of laughter and a few solemn moments as well - not to menitojn music by Max, Betty's very own composer.
I'm sure you all understand why I need a wee dram, or two, or three......thanks.
As a Scot who doesn't 'get' whisky (but please don't tell anyone!) I am grateful for hints on at least honestly trying to 'get' brandy.
Fifi
Sorry if this seems like it belongs in the Furrowed Brow, but no-one seems to look in there.
Frances;
It's not to fume over or get worked up about, that these attitudes and bans once existed. Things change with the passage of years, what was once frowned upon becomes commonplace, even acceptable or encouraged.
Use of crude language was once forbidden on TV, racism was rife, nudity in the Sun (and the Mirror, remember!) got Mary Whitehouse all worked up. Now these things are unremarkable.
Whether a thing, once forbidden now acceptable, is a good thing, is in the mind of each individual. The agglomeration of individual opinions and actions helps to form what we call our society. As opinions change, society changes. We usually accept moves to greater openness and freedoms as a good thing. We compare the liberality of our democracies with the restriction and repression found in so many other parts of the world and we feel smug about our open-mindedness. Rightly so, I feel.
So the Forces once had a ban in place, even after society had liberalised its laws on the matter. But they are more relaxed about it now. Isn't that a good thing? Shouldn't we, generally speaking, be pleased that this has happened?
You will also find that closed parts of society tend to lag behind society as a whole when change comes upon us. Many Working Mens Clubs still restrict women as to where they may go in the building. Golf Clubs have a tendency to restrict women as full members and when they can play a round of golf. And so on. But the change often comes around, if slowly.
The alternative to change is societal stagnation, or worse, regression. Personally I'll take change over those two alternatives any day, any week.
"Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose".
Feefs;
I could hardly agree more. And I loathe tomatoes too. And celery. And cucumber.....
Si.
Crikey! I log off for 24 hours and not only does a new beach appear (much nicer, warmer and cleaner than the muddy hollow on the Sequin @ Glasto thread) but it also attracts 39 posts (and probably half a dozen more in the moderation queue).
Please remember to remove your wellies before stepping onto the sand - we'd like it to remain pristine for as long as possible!
Now I'm here - where's the BBQ?!
* hic! *
It still tastes horrible though...?
Fifi
* hic! *
It still tastes horrible though...?
Fifi
Simon - I couldn't agree more with your last post.
Reminds me of one of my favourite overheard coversations. I was waiting to play for a wedding that was to be held at a golf club. The manager of the golf club was in the room talking to the registrars before the guests arrived. It was shortly before the civil partnership ceremony was due to be introduced. One of the registrars asked, half-jokingly "and will you be holding any civil partnerships here?"
Without missing a beat, the manager said "Oh yes, of course. We're very liberal here these days. Why, we even let people wear SHORT SOCKS!"
Annie! Here you deserve a very large glass!
Don't worry about the flat, anywhere with a fully stocked hamper sounds fab! And congrats to your Son. Unfortunately am a bit too far away to see the show.
Perky - why do you call your oven Bernard?
Si, Thanks for that
You write with such eloquence.
Fascinating - both Simon (SO) and I have read all the comments. I'd never considered the 'blackmail' point. Although I know you aren't gay I won't ask if you went out on the town 'drinking and whoring to prove your machismo :-)
Like you - we missed the programme, (live) but thanks to listen again, caught it later.
I was particularly interested in the 'Lesbian' angle - which to be quite honest I'd really never really thought about.
It's a shame in a way that Eddie didn't mention that he was doing the programme - I dare say the blog would have supplied a wealth of stories, such as yours Si.
There were some funny bits that made me laugh though, Eddie in the Imperial war museum musing over the aesthetic 'Gayness' of a rocket!
Ooh, isn't he bold?
Annasee - you're not at the Bridgewater Hall tomorrow by any chance are you?
And Si also agree with your last post. In a similar vein to Annasee's story, on a slightly different tack:
In my previous job a client called a nurse to the dispensary window after his consultation to ask about his pet's medication. The nurse asked him what the vet had said to him. He replied "Vet? I've been coming here for 10 years and I've only ever seen women!"
thank you GM. I need it more than ever now as I took myself off in JUne to watch Andrew Rawnsleys program about Tony's premiership and am now more depressed than ever. He did a blow by blow of the sleepwalk into the mess that is Iraq, and I anguished again over how we couldn't stop him. If only....
now Fifi dear, why don't you get this malt thing? take a glass and lift it to your face and take a gentle breath in...now let a little of the liquid into your mouth...now just hold it there until it evaporates and you can feel that nice warm sensation.
It does help to begin with if you can think of something on the lines of 'my dad will be impressed if he sees me drinking this and enjoying it', but after a while that won't be necessary.
Or you could just stick with the brandy!
And one for Si :- (after last weeks ramblings) and I was just pondering on the fact that we never see Water Voles these days :-)
-------------------------------------------------------
HORNE: I've written a book and I thought you might be interested in it.
JULIAN: What's it called?
HORNE: The Life Cycle Of The Water Vole.
SANDY: It don't strike me as being particularly racy, offhand. Still, maybe we can do something with it. Let's have a vada. Hmm - it's a bit dull, isn't it?
HORNE: Well, not much happens to a water vole.
SANDY: Well, you have to make it happen. Look at your description of the hero - I quote: ‘A small grey furry creature'. How is your reader going to identify with that? You want to make him big and butch, with bulging biceps, his shin slashed open to his waist, and an unruly lock of tousled hair falling over his bronzed forehead.
JULIAN: And you don't call him `the water vole` - you have to personalize. Give him a name - like Rock or Tab or Dorian.
SANDY: And you have to dramatize it - `Who was this water vole Nobody knew where he came from, but nothing was ever the same after he'd been there - women desired him -
HORNE: What? A water vole?
JULIAN: You have to have a bit of sex in it - something like- this is just off the top of me head - `Dorian's hot muzzle pressed against her furry cheek."You're my kind of water vole," he murmured.'
SANDY: `They tumbled back, panting onto the river bed. Her firm young haunches strained against the madras cotton of her blouse."Have there been others?" Dorian murmured. "There was a field mouse once," she replied,"but it was never like this." ' You get the idea, then? What we want is four hundred pages of passionate water voles slaking their animal desires. 'Course, you'll have to change the title.
JULIAN: Yes. We'll call it - Vole Flanders, The Story of an Eighteenth-Century Water Slut.
SANDY Fantabulosa!!
****
JULIAN: It got printed in the end, but of course it never got into the best-seller list.
As a matter of fact, it was remaindered on the day of publication but by then Sandy and me had moved on.
We'd gone into the film business.
We had a little lattie up an alley off Wardour Street.
We called ourselves Bona Prods., and you wouldn't credit it but before we had time to turn round, that Mr. Horne had turned up again.
Actually, we were pleased to see him as things had been a bit slack after our film Motor Cycle Au Pair Boy got panned by the critics. It starred our friend Gordon, and I thought he took his part lovely but you know how the film business is.
If you haven’t got Michael Caine in it you're done for.
So, when Mr. Horne appeared on our half-landing that day, Sandy and me was more than happy to show him round and tell him of our hopes and desires - well, some of them.
Sandy went straight to the point.
****
Si, and jonnie, I suppose I must have been about ten when all this tomfoolery was going on and I asked my ma why it was so awful for someone in the armed forces to be a homosexual anyway, since it wasn't really anyone else's business but their own. She told me the blackmail bit as the reason that got given. Well, even at that age the answer was obvious: 'If they just didn't make it illegal then people couldn't be blackmailed, could they?'
Still makes sense to me, and I really don't see why it wasn't obvious all along. Maybe one has to be ten years old to spot these things, like the Emperor's New Clothes.
Oooh, and Annasee, thinking of clothing codes, do you think perhaps that chap found short socks very offensive? My brats really object to them if they are worn with sandals, for some reason.
Meanwhile, here on the Beach (where nobody is as silly as the laws used to be) I noticed what I swear was a reindeer just now, looking very hot and bothered poor thing. Has Marc the Frog Prince ordered one for transport when he goes to Helsinki or something? If so, he ought to be told that it has turned up here so that he can rescue it.
Chris - It was just rain dear!
What a camp night!
Rain? On the *Beach*? I want my money back!
And anyway I thought the rain was over in the Muddy Hollow, in June. Come to that I thought the camping was going on there too.
hang on.... why would a fish worry about rain? Or need a tent?
aargh
Are you *trying* to confuse me, jonnie, or is it just something that comes to you natural?
So Long and Thanks for All the Fish
Re:- Si
As I always do to all the bloggers who link their names to their own, or other websites, I have spent too much time on yours tonight.
Is this a new pic?
I wasn't sure if it was a wedding or the 'heavy mob' !
Feefs should organise some captions! :-)
Oh Chris - you just popped up suddenly! - after questioning Si on his photo.
I'm not used to the lack of 30 minute delays! Have the 'promised changes of March' - for the blog, suddenly happened.
Chris said :- Are you *trying* to confuse me, jonnie, or is it just something that comes to you natural?
Jonnie replied:- Alas, far too naturally Chris.
The other half totally despairs. ..
(tip toes quietly off to bed)
Now why does Si's photo remind me of Reservoir Dogs? :)
(Whoops - accidentally submitted back there)
The Beach is a nice, warm, dry, sunny, clean environment.
If you want a nasty, cold, wet, rainy, muddy environment, then The Muddy Hollow's your place. The virtual equivalent of Worthy Farm, in case you hadn't guessed...
Morning all, Coffee on bar, Bread sticks there also, not sure why. Croissants been delivered also. Big selection today, Pain AU Chocolate, Pain Au raisin, ALmond croissants and good old traditional.
Woke by kids at 7.00 am, Typically the one day they can have a lie in and we don't need to wake them up....
But hey thats life with children under 7.
I should be good and do something healthy today. May get the bike out. We have a new cycle route just opened. Well 0.8 miles have opened. Its alone the old Queensbury to Keighley railway line. But... Their is a dispute with a land owner so it starts at queensbury and stops 0.8 miles later! Then a similar bit at cullingworth which is the other end.
By heck that coffee's good.
At last I've posted some holiday piccies.
After that lovely BBQ grill-up (thanks whoever brought the cumberland sausages and cherry tomatoes!) I am now off to Castle Bytham to help make some music.
We're a loose collective of loose folkies, who play at such events under the name Fete Accompli.
Usually quite close to the beer tent, if the organisers have got it right!
I'll bring back some toffee apples and leave them on the NC Bar.
Fifi ;o)
Morning All, just seeking refuge from June - don't know about Glasto but the mud in garden and allotment is in danger of rivalling it.
So I've decided to curl up here with my latest knitting project. It's a Mystery Stole in very fine laceweight silk and requires some concentration - so if I don't respond immediately it's because I'm counting stitches.
The kettle has just boiled so fresh tea and buttered buns on the bar. Enjoy.
A.
xx
Ooh 'Eck! I seem to have slept all through Saturday. I swear it wasn't this hard getting over the overnight flights before....
Ah, I'll help myself to a mug of coffee if I may, and go for a little stroll down the shore to wake up. If I'm not back in a month, send out a search party....
Morning all,
Si (39), Re Sorry if this seems like it belongs in the Furrowed Brow, but no-one seems to look in there. There is an obvious response to that but it's too early on a Sunday for me to be that cheeky ;-) ...Seriously, you make some sound points.
Jonnie (50) Tee hee!
RJD (52) Where are you going?! Don't quit the beach!!
Anne (60) Mystery Stole? Does that mean you don't know what it will look like until it's done?...
Fearless (61), Relax, Saturday wasn't all that exciting IMO -- you didn't miss much, except on the beach, and you can catch up now :-) Hope you're fully restored!
Appy (62) yes exactly that - I've not done one before but this is the one to be run online. A knitting group receive the 'clues' weekly not knowing what the final result will look like. There 's mutual help (which I will probably need) so I thought I'd give it a go. Photos will be posted if I ever get it finished!
Fearless @ 61, my old Pa used at one point to have to do a lot of long-distance flying for his job and he always said it was easier getting over it if one drank lots of water or fruit-juice during the flight. Maybe now they don't let one take a couple of litres of water onto the plane that's not practical any more, but it might be worth trying to convince the nice people who bring round the plastic food that you really really need to drink a pint of water *right now* or you're going to faint? If enough people do that every half hour or so maybe they'll start to allow bringing one's own bottles of water on the flight again, and that would be a good thing anyway.
Si, *when* was the last Furrowed Brow again?
Stewart M, cycle routes that stop suddenly is one thing, cycle lanes is another. The shortest one I have found so far was just over eleven inches longer than a normal bicycle measured from the bottom of the rear wheel to the bottom of the front wheel (yes, we measured a normal bicycle against the line that showed where the cycle-lane was). I'm also very fond of one I have only seen in photos, which is clearly signposted straight down a flight of about fourteen steep stone steps....
Does The Beach have any areas set aside specially for cyclists, or is it just a sensible place where one may unicycle wherever one wants?
Wow Anne (63), sounds very exciting and odd all at once! I particularly like the following, for it's apparent insight into the minds of 'mystery knitters':
the Friday after the new Harry Potter book comes out. I will post July 20 (the book launch is July 21), and then wait at least 2 weeks so people can read the book and catch up on the Mystery Stole. More details will follow as I figure things out.
Is the author presumptuous or is it correct to see an interest in this craft as directly proportional to a liking for in the novels of J.K. Rawling then?....
Looking forward to the photos! :-)
Mr Fish (64) One may take as much bottled water onto an aeroplane as one can carry, as I understand it. It's just that it must be purchased from very expensive airport shop after one has been through security. Last week I wasn't allowed through because my very small bottles of liquid weren't in a clear plastic bag. Pointing out to the Security Operative that the purpose of the plastic bag was merely to facilitate his being able to see the bottles, and that he could see them and they would clearly fit easily into such a bag, was a rather fruitless exercise. Back to W.H. Smith* with my 20p I had to go... I was allowed to take my nail scissors through though, even when I tried to leave them behind... Barking.
*Other purveyors of one litre clear plastic bags were not actually available.
Back from the mudbath that was Castle Bytham village fair.
I'll let Gossipmistress tell you where SHE was singing today though... trumps my muddy field by a loooong chalk!
Sorry no toffee apples but I have brought some candy floss and a pile of hot cheeseburgers instead.
Do tuck in!
Just going to wring out my ponytail and put away all the mic stands and leads I'd brought along.....
Fifi
Aperitif @ 66, that's not merely Barking, it's Upney or even Upminster.
Mind you, quite a lot of the Forbidden Items make one wonder how Their minds work. I'd really, really like to know how anyone is going to hijack an aeroplane using a crochet hook. 'Fly this plane to Cuba or I'll pull your brain out through your left nostril!' maybe, or perhaps, 'If you don't fly this plane to Cuba Right Now I shall crochet you into a too-small bright pink cardigan and mock you to death!'
Drat them anyway. I don't want their beastly bottled water at umptywibble quid per litre, I just want a couple of litres of London tap water. Do they allow one to take *empty* plastic bottles through Security, or are those Dangerous Weapons as well?
Chris, and All,
Spent yesterday overnight to now at community woodland firing and cooking our real-life clay oven. Teens yesterday broke a cycle path (~0.8 km). They came back and attacked the grown-ups and fogies with bracken spears, a real Zulu experience, spears flying everywhere, tow marked cheeks, but no eyes put out - phew!
Excellent path for pedestrians as well, but unless it gets used it'll soon be covered, the growth of bracken and briar is so enthusiastic. lovely rough ground, based largely on glacial morraine deposits and with lovely wet areas of bog myrtle and native sallows and all sorts of uncommon plants. It's always bee pretty useless ground, and not worth "improving", so it has most of what's come since the glacier withdrew. Wild, but up until ten years ago it was grazed in winter by 'store cattle'.
Since we've taken the cows off the natural regeneration has been impressive, and trees we've planted are mostly 12 to 20 feet high (4-6m). Orchids in two places at least at the moment, a moorhen lying low on the pond, but not being driven off by as many as four dozen or so folk enjoying a BBQ with hot pizza and fresh bread and considerable liquids including our inimitable spring water.
The previous owner named his 23 acres "Taliesin" (he's a musician and poet) and wanted to build his dream home Norwegian barn at the top of the hill for decades, and allowed us to have a couple of festivals there and plant trees as part of the millennian forest, and then when his family fell apart, he had to sell it and we bought it (our small community woodland trust).
A neighbour in Palnackie said to my wife , "I dinna ken what all this Tali, taliban, sort of stuff is; that's the mair, "Moor, to you".
She arrived as a land girl and married the farmer, John B*., whose son and grandchildren still farm, and whose cattle were the last to graze "taliesin", which name has sort of stuck, though we tried to change it. I've yet to take a bottle of whisky and recording equipment to get all her stories of that wee glen. Her father-in law and Brother-in-law farmed the two adjoining farms, I should do it soon. She's spry and 80 and still goes up the forest track to check the cows on a field in the forest, every day. Widowed long ago and still a working farm woman and a model of virtue.
One of our festivals is at my name
GM, loved your anecdote! And Appy's plastic bags, and AA, I hear you with regard to the 'long goodbye', interminal it seems to me, and I've already got sick of Gordo's voice and words. Thanks to the gods of PR, for Wee Eck"!
Si, Good words and great picture.
xx
ed
Fifi,
I just have to gloat. We've had very little rain, really. Just a refreshing shower and rarely more than half an hour. BBQ went swimmingly in the better sense.
xx
ed
Phew! Can anyone pass me a very large whiskey please?
Have just had the most scary (and less muddy that Feef's) singing experience!
The Gospel choir booked to sing at the Gordon/Announce a New Deputy leader/Tony show today in manchester, cancelled on wednesday and we (Manchester Chamber Choir) were called in to replace them.
Which is all very well, except they were expecting happy clappy gospel motown and we usually sing music from 1683 with the notes in front of us.
Hmm. After 24hrs worth of fruitless g*ogling for groovy motown arrangements for po-faced church choirs the conductor gave up and employed a friend to write a special arrangement of 'Your lurrrrve, is lifting me higher' with Ooohs, Aaahs and bop de de doo doo wahs.
So this morning, 23 of us drove boldly through the police cordon outside the Bridgewater Hall, had the bowels of our handbags searched (even the tenors... ?especially the tenors?) and started practising.
We saw the music for the first time at 10am, and performed it, from memory at 3pm, complete with groovy finger clicks, claps & swaying pelvises! I'm sure we looked like total plonkers and to be honest we weren't especially good but it was a bit of a rabbit in the headlights moment after standing bahind the screen on stage for 20mins listening to Ms Harman then being flung into the spotlight!
As we came off stage and round the screen, Tone was standing waiting to go on. (I imagine he was a bit gutted having to follow such a fantastic act) and I was very, very tempted to stick my tongue out. I almost did it. In the end I resisted on account of the snipers....
I'm now cream crackered! I'm going over to that spare hammock (Oh I see FFred's asleep again!)
please wake me if I'm late for work tomorrow....
GM - how exciting. Will we see it on the news - you know, "Leading politicians upstaged by last-minute choir" sort of thing??
Personally, I wouldn't go anywhere near a tenor's handbag - it can only be bad.
Here, have a malt, put your feet up and, just whenever you're ready, give us a rendition!!
xx
Ed I. do make use of the tape recorder soon. My father recorded conversations with my grandmother when she was in her nineties and it's lovely to hear her as well as interesting. She was born before the dunlop tyre for the bicycle, trained as a doctor in the early years of last century, campaigned as a suffragette and worked in India before marrying my grandfather, and lived to see men on the moon. Important to catch these things before they pass.
Aperitif - yes there are some strange aspects to the Mystery Stole, Harry Potter not least. Though I will be reading it I don't think there is any necessary connection with the magic of knitting.
Chris the Fish, much debate on knitting groups about whether you are allowed to take knitting and crochet impedimenta on planes. Are bamboo needles OK, do crochet hooks count - seems to be lots of confusion and inconsistency though I've yet to hear of anyone attempting a hijack with a crochet hook. Mind you silk yarn is remarkably strong and it doesn't take much imagination to see how it might be used for nefarious purposes. I think there's probably the script for a thriller there if nothing worse.
Anne P @72, I have a nasty feeling that whether crochet hooks are or are not permitted probably depends on the whim of the person doing the security check at any given moment, and once one of them has said 'no you can't' there is no appeal, because in that airport at that time whoever is there will back up the decision. They certainly wouldn't want there to be a debate about it, possibly followed by a sarky story in a newspaper.
On the other hand I strongly suspect that they wouldn't notice a plastic crochet hook in hand luggage or in one's pocket: would it show up on their machines?
Oh the ignominy of it all: hijacked by an infuriated octagenarian with a *plastic crochet hook*! :-)
Does Sequin ever sleep? Having been in the mud-bath that was Glastonbury, she's on the Westminster Hour tonight!
In the (60)'s,
Re flying. In the 90's I had been in Japan for work, and was returning to the UK. However, at Narita airport, my toolbox was confiscated. I protested that it had been allowed on the flight out, via the same company - Aeroflot (no expense spared at my old company!) - and it contained high value items (hence my hand luggage). So they agreed that it would be given to the Captain, and for me to reclaim at LHR. But I thought it lost.
However, as soon as the plane had lumbered into the air, the Captain came through, (looking every inch the Russian fighter pilot, now flying civies, with the overlarge caps that the Soviets used to wear) with my toolbox, and on my recognising it - it's very distinctive - restored it to me; with scalpels, screwdrivers, goodness only knows what instruments that I could, in theory, use to hi-jack the plane. I was amazed.
It's distinctive because it's wooden, and, when one is stuck at Moscow airport, it doubles up as a seat as all the others are always taken.
These days it remains at base; I no longer attempt to take it with me. I courier what I cannot borrow locally ahead and back, and hope what I need doesn't get lost in transit....
Anyway, thought this story might raise a smile.
Mr Fish (68) You have enteratined me (monu)mentally once again and I thank you with all of my under-100ml-liquid-items :-)
*wipes away tears of laughter*...
Got to the new cycle route but without my bike. Well I had the small one with me. So we had her bike. Queensbury is a great place for cycling!!! I parked at the top of station rd and its a 400 ft descent to the start of the cycle path. I could have taken the car down but there is no where to park yet and it sort of defeats the purpose of a cycle path. New path goes for about half a mile and stops. Along the old railway. Not been a railway for 40 years. Stops at a road and until the council finished its dispute with the landowner on the other side of the road it cant go further! Being an old railway line it is relatively flat. Being West yorkshire its not that flat. Anyway Eleanor enjoyed it and did too apart from the walk down/up the hill at the start/end of our trip.
We too have cycle lanes not much longer than a bicycle. This is a cycle path and is car free but not horse free and so we had plenty of Horse muck to cycle round.
Must watch news to try and see the Manchester Choir. Hope you enjoyed it GossipM.
Oh goodness me!
Fifi xxx
Wow GM that is impressive! And exciting! Well done for the rapid memorising.
I've missed all the tv news today but maybe tomorrow there still might be a round-up of the most exciting bits of the day? I wonder why the gospel choir pulled out of the concert. Will have done themselves no favours. Your choir, on he other hand, may find yourselves a permanent fixture at the Labour Party Conferences from now on!
Ap (62) - That line was part of a longer posting that somehow disappeared - or maybe I had been too much involved with that Napoleon bottle.
As it happens I will be busy/away for most of July so I don't suppose I will be posting all that often.
See you all in August!
sorry eddie
it must be said
but not delivered
W.T.F.???
I mean it's Sunday innit? ae?
xx
Anne P - are you sure you're not knitting Harry Potter's invisibility cloak?
Stewart M - enjoyed your photos, and captions!
Perky & Annasee, they sensibly didn't feature us on the news, but I was there, honest! Gospel choir apparently cancelled as didn't want to sing non-religious music on a sunday. We were asked not to wear blue shirts (!) - but they'll never know what I wore underneath!!
Aperitif @77, Ah would have you to know Ah ain't no clown-fish! Ah'm a lean, mean fightin' machine, Ah'm a hard-drinkin', bacca-chewin', pebble-spittin' shellion
Durn.
And I can't spell reliably either. Curses!
GM, since you gave me that lovely large malt yesterday I now return the favour; have a glass of 25 year old Highland Park - and we don't get that one out for just anybody!
v impressed to hear that you were singing at Labour Party Shenanigans; so close - could none of you have hidden a stiletto up your sleeve and used it when in close proximity to any of these news spinning, power hungry, shameless people born to unwed parents? or perhaps I am being too hard on them.
anyway enjoy the HP, I am off to bed. G'night, all.
Big day, we are full, with 4 baths and luckily 7 (mostly) electric showers - some off the heating system.
To save some cash I've stripped out the two old condensing boilers (only 7 years old but both leaking and considered a right-off) and we are surviving the night on a large hot water cylinder (450 litres) with one 3KW imersion heater to heat it - I have warned the guests they will either have very hot water (as I've cranked the immersion up to full temp - or cold:-(
The cheapest installation for the new boiler I could get 'to install' the boiler was £700 labour. One man - 9 - 5! equates to £90 per hour (not bad, I'm informed - from fellow plumbers I've chatted to) Boiler is around £1100
So I figured I'd strip the old boilers out myself and hopefully save £150? -- see what I can negotiate in the morning?
I should have been a plumber!
GM - what a wonderful picture you conjured up! Now that I've caught up with today, I'm slinging my hook (not crochet!).
xxx
Gossipmrs, what a story! I'd like to hear some of your 1683 music - any clues? Purcell, perchance?
Jonnie - good luck!
I haven't read far back up the beach, so a general "Hello!" to all.
I've just been watching The Who on the box (live from Glasto) and feeling both rather old and extremely young.
GM - Invisibility Cloak now there's a good idea I think this silver grey silk should be just the thing. Anyone know the right incantations?
Sorry I missed the TV news but your choral adventures sounded fun if a bit hair raising.
Just been checking for leaks as it is now chucking down here and has been for several hours. Old houses eh! Depends which way the wind blows and how hard, buckets and towels strategically placed just in case.
Enough of that - fresh Java and English Breakfast on the bar and I'll cook a full English for anyone in need. Just give me a call, I'll be over by the breakwater soaking up the sun.
Anne P, Agree re the leaks. I have a flat roofed old building what I work in (bad news). Its just been re-felted (good news) Its leaking :-(
Plus my shop front , old wood and in a conservation area drips when rain in wrong direction. Needs work doing but I cant do steel or Upvc without a major fight with council. And its three stories so Needs Scaffolding to do any major work so thats yet another council discussion to put the scaffolding on the public footpath. Arrgh
Time to ring a few folk.
Anyone know a good joiner/painter etc
Wow - busy weekend in the sand (as it were), will have a big dollop of Java please though I'm not sure it'll help....v nervous as have interview day for the piece in Essenti*ls (other womens glossies are available - but won't feature a frogger. Or maybe they will). Not til 7pm and I haven't really been thinking about it but now its within 12 hours - eek!
Will try and catch up during the day but June is v graspy at the mo....
Frugs to all - and isn't nice to have Lord de Mayr back!
Morning All!
I'm tired. Tired and sleepy. Tired, sleepy and completely lacking in energy.
I'm just going to lie on this dune if you don't mind. Night, night...
;o) []
....P
...U
..S
.H
!
Annasee (43), like the golf club anecdote. I wonder if the manager was being po-faced and serious, or sending himself up....
Jonnie (45), thank you kind sir. And no, I didn't. That's why one or two crew members occasionally liked to point the 'finger of suspicion' at me.
AA (47), the Rawnsley programme is a rather devastating critique on the Blair years, isn't it!
Jonnie, thanks for the burst of Julian and Sandy. I suppose you could remake them today, but you'd have to have G. Norton play one of the leads.
Chris (49), you can remove the illegality but changing the law, but that doesn't immediately change the minds of others. The stigmatisation that still attaches in other peoples minds, not necessarily your own, tends to make you keep such things underground, which leaves you open to blackmail. If there is no stigma why do people like Mandelson get all worked up at being 'outed' by Matthew Parris? He behaved like it was a guilty secret, which tends to reinforce the stigmatisation. Change takes time to work through society, which inherently resists change.
That doesn't mean that I want militant gays throwing it in my face, but neither do I want militant heteros doing the same, nor militant religious types, militant smokers, etc. etc. Just be comfortable with whatever you are and take quiet pleasure for yourself. Only the insecure seek to flaunt themselves for the public, seeking self-reassurance in their flamboyance.
Jonnie (53), no not a new one. Very popular these last few years, the Groom and 'the lads' looking like Reservoir Dogs. It gets asked for at almost every wedding we do. Which Mittfh spotted immediately (55). I suppose that it goes along with reinforcing our self-image by outward expression.
Appy (62), ta.
Ed (69), ditto.
Si.
Now I remember why I had turnips in my trouser bottoms as a kid.
Anyone got a cure for rising damp?
Hello Everyone, I'm having the longest lunchbreak ever today -- so nice!
RJD (81), I am most unhappy about this! Who's going to keep me company on the naughty step then? Do look in when you can.
A, x.
Ap (95) - Sorry, my goodbye was a bit premature - but I will be away from the Beach for a good bit of July.
And what do you mean "naughty step"? I haven't been there in months!
Jason (95) Handstands?
RJD (97) Me neither -- I'm kind of missing it! Quick, moon those camels and I'll shout something obscene then we can run over there for a natter! :-)
P.S. I'm very glad it was premature. I shall miss you when you're not around so much :-(
RJD - I don't think there is any room left on the naughty step. Appy has it booked up for months in advance. Something about embroidered underwear?
Oh I am having a bu**er of a day. can't summon up the enthusiaam for anything, and everything needs to be finsihed by the ned of Wednesday!
Anyone want to get utterly lashed behind those sand dunes and dance about half naked singing out of key?
Quiet isn't it? Must be all the rain back in June. Hope all you fellow Froggers aren't having to man and woman the pumps! I tend to agree with Billy Connolly: there's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing.
I offer some home made all butter flapjacks and good strong tea for all those being energetic today, I'm not one of them.
;o) []
Very boggy sand, this beach.
PUSH!!!!!
Fifi
PUSH!
Oh Annasee (100), I'm quite happy to budge up and make room! :-)
Hi peeps...
just got back from the (real?) beach...Walcott, near Bacton..bootifull.
sorry i aint bin 'ear much......too much work...now on 1 week off before embarking for Bishops Castle in Salopia. I am going into Champers and Strawbs for a few days...
...Feefs..do u do Strawbs?..as in " U wont get me I'm part of the union"?...
....anyone 4 tennis?.....init
Appy (101) I will happily join you in celebrating the ned of the day :-)
Ap (101) - "finsihed by the ned of Wednesday"
I suspect that you are half lashed already but I'll help you go for utterly!
Feefs at 103..
...that is mud dear heart....good old Lincolnshire mud....
......anyone for Championship wrestling?....Feefs..u up for it gal?
..init & vot?
FF at 107..
wot u playin' at my man...wot u doin wid my keybd?
....it's end not ned......get a grip..ned is an 'orse, end is the first part of a game of bowls...as in that was the first end....jeez...the youth of today....
....if you can't beat them.......wot is the point in teaching them?
....bloggage anyone.....all together....PUSH.....go on Feefs and u Humph put yer back into it......Gillian.....PUSH not PULL.......all together now....HEAVE....
Witchi (91) Hope the interview went well. Please let us know when it's going to be published.
Appy (101) Count me in! Utterly lashed and utterly naked.....I need to throw my inhibitions
to the wind!!!
DIWyman (106) Don't forget your wellies and a little cocktail umbrella to keep the rain out of your champers ;o(
Attention * ED Iglehart *
Ed: I've just spotted this in last weeks Ariel (³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Magazine)
8 Million analogue tvs 'to be dumped'.
A USWITCH.COM survey of 2599 adults found that, post-digital switchover, enough tv's and vcr's will be thrown away to fill 100 olympic swimming pools - a potential environmental headache.
--------
I just know how to cheer you up :-(
Just been watching the flood pictures from Sheffield and Leeds - hope everyone is alright. We seem to have had about 3 inches in 12 hours here, but it's draining away OK with us. Nothing worse than a soggy garden.
Hope I didn't speak too soon. SO has just been out to check the level in our well - higher than it's ever been and above the level of our cellar! Fingers crossed.
Jonnie (113),
What a horror; but freeview boxes appear to only last 6 months....
All this premature waste just so the gov. can sell off that part of the EM spectrum for digital TV reception on mobile phones or whatever. Recycling of electronics is still pathetic.
What worries me is the number of analogue *radios* there are (and digital radios are not worth the amount of paper they would cover - use a freeview box instead (but see above) - if they go ahead and close all that down). The radio I'm currently listening to is an early 1980's ghetto blaster, which my brother threw away as not-working, I pulled out of the bin (in 2004) intendeing to recycle if it were dead, pulled out the flat battery and suddenly it worked! I don't know how many analogue radios I have, lurking in hidden corners or on outward display...I've just counted 12 dating from 1937 to present, and just thought of another two...and another two...
Oh, it's the beach. Sorry for the rant. Naughty step, I suppose.
Anne P - me too - also hope everyone is ok and not thigh-deep in muddy water. Amazing footage no 10 o'clock news.
We should start calling it Global Wetting. Maybe they'd take it more seriously!
Appy - tried to answer you on the embroidered underwear thread (hoho!) but I appear to have been moderated. It wasn't that bad...only mentioned the amount of shopping someone would have to pretend to be doing....
Frances - yes certainly Purcell amongst others. 1683 was just a random date to give the idea of our normal repertoire. Apparently we were fleetingly on News 24, as a background to some exceedingly important interview.
BTW....in 1 hour and 28 mins it's Val P's birthday....if we're very quiet I think we can creep up and surprise her...Shhh!
PS Witchi - how did it go???
Sheesh - that's just typical, i've just made a long post about how everything's going wrong and what happens? I get maliciously curbed and not only that but when I pressed the back button as usual, the s*dding post had disappeared!
Anyway, I have some lovely chilled pink fizzy pinot g here, and would love it if you joined me in a glass or few - just 30 minutes to go!
(As I said in the post that went west, to add insult to injury I have loadsa work to catch up on tomorrow too. I'm thinking of retiring again!)
Val - Given the speed that things are going through today, if I wish you Happy Birthday (12 minutes early) you might get it on Wednesday! By s*d it - Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday Val P. Cheers!
What is this pile of clothes doing next to this sand dune and who are...oooh. Ahhh...
Nothing to see here.
H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y V A L!!!
Big pile of strawberries and some extra Champagne for Breakfast. Forget the rain in June and come and bask in the sun on the beach!
Have a really lovely day! GMx
Happy B to ValP
H. x
Happy burfday Val!
xx
ed
Shame about all these tv's I got off this guy.
xx
ed
Happy Birthday Val P. !!
Si.
***
** Happy Birthday to you **
** Happy Birthday to you **
** Happy Birthday dear Val **
** Happy Birthday to you **
Hip Hip Hooray!
***
Brian Tranter in Australia
You posted a question on the Beach for 21st January. I've no idea how you arrived there but I have answered there! The answer is repeated below in case you ever find your way here.
Is this it?
"Peckham Rye, Loughborough, Elephant,St.Paul`s"
Every morning the porter bawls
The train grinds out.....and I gaze on lots
Of sad back gardens and chimney pots
Factory stacks and smoky haze
Showering smuts on the close-packed ways
But, trapped and prisoned as I may be,
I lift a latch and my thoughts go free
And once again I am running down
On a winding track from a Cornish town
And I dream the names of the stations through
"Moorswater, Causeland, Sandplace, Looe"
The line twists down through patches sweet
Of soft green pastures and waving wheat
And the stream spreads out to a river wide
Where ships creep up at the turn of the tide,
Till a tangle of spars on a blue sky spun
Gives me the sign of the journey done,
And I stand contented on the quay
And hear the surging song of the sea
So runs the dreamlike journey through
"Moorswater, Causeland, Sandplace, Looe"
But every morning the porter bawls
"Peckham Rye, Loughborough, Elephant, St.Pauls"
G'day!
Val P - Have a tippity top day!
Gillian & GM - thanks, I think it went well! Reporter is sending a me copy today so I can check through and okay it. Possibly more nervous about seeing what she made of my ramblings than the rambling itself! Will let you know when it appears in the flesh.
AnneP - how are things with you?
As is so nasty in June theres some hot chocolate on the bar (not quite the lovely Spanish stuff but G & B!) and a pile of croissants, pastries and homemade scones.
See you all later when I've hidden all the work I'm supposed to be doing elsewhere!
Well, that was weird ... clicked on the most recent comment on the Beach and found myself ... in January!
There was good old Bill n Ben (first clue), and Jonnie frogging from Sri Lanka (second clue) ... how did that happen then?
Oh, I see. RJD has answered my question before I asked. How very clever of you!
Happy Val, birthday.
Takeover bid for the worst committee in the world failed last night. Another year of
oh well, at least the sun shineth today.
DI Wyman, I have the words here:
"...till the day I diiiiiie, till the day I diiiiiiie!"
Fifi :o(
Val P. - Happy Birthday!!!! ;o)
Happy Birthday, Val. Have a great day.
Appy - did you find Ned?
Good morning Fronds, and thank you all so much for the birthday greetings. You've cheered my day!
Thanks too to GM for the e-card, it's so beautifully appropriate that I wonder whether my limited linky knowledge can bring it to the Beach. Hmm, now there's something else that I can do to procrastinate before I start working....
I also won a CD of Froggers' Fotos from AndycrArtist which arrived, appropriately enough, this morning! My only present so far. ("Children" still in bed, SO off early to the coalface). So I shall pop back and forth to the beach, imbibing in whatever I can find here - which will doubtless render any attempt to catch up with June, fruitless!
OOH - update, update, another e-card has just flown in, thanks so much to you too Gillianian!
Now, about that work........
Val P. - Many Happy Returns of the Day to you!
I am still completely lacking in energy today, my get up and go got up and went without me. So, I'll just help myself to some of this delicious hot chocolate and pastries (thanks Witchi!) and settle down on... that lounger over there.
YAWN! It's not the company, no, really it isn't. I'm just knackered and haven't been doing anything to justify it... zzzzzzz
;o) []
Witchi, well thank you, the well has receded and with no more significant rain forecast till the weekend we are fine for the moment. Lots of localised flooding nearby though and apparently Derbyshire has run out of 'Road Closed' signs. Off to the supermarket shortly if it's still there - like so many retail parks it's on the flood plain. Doh!
Like you we were interviewed last week but seem to have survived the experience. Journalistic fluff but hopefully harmless enough and an advert for the many good causes SO is involved with.
Val P-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !Val P!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! from me!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
From your frog chum Molleeeee !
(Silver Fox- eat your heart out.....)
Mollyxx
Val P. - Many Happy Returns of the Day to you!
I am still completely lacking in energy today, my get up and go got up and went without me. So, I'll just help myself to some of this delicious hot chocolate and pastries (thanks Witchi!) and settle down on... that lounger over there.
YAWN! It's not the company, no, really it isn't. I'm just knackered and haven't been doing anything to justify it... zzzzzzz
;o) []
Happy Birthday, Val P
Many happy returns.
Morning all, oh my head is a bit thick today! Thanks to everyone who joined in the dancing though -- that was just what I needed! Now, has anyone seen the rest of my things???
Not sure my head can bear to shout but I wish to be heard, so here goes:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VALERY!
Hope you have a delightful day.
To those enquiring about Ned -- it isn't Wednesday yet! When the Ned of Wednesday shows up, I will, of course, let you all know... :-)
Happy Birthday Val! Hope you have a good day. I would send you some Manchester sunshine if I could. There's alittle bit to spare here. Weak, but at least it's trying to improve.
Now, get back to that lovely champagne breakfast you were having....
Am I too late to wish you the happiest of birthdays, Val? Just check out the greeting on my name .....
xxxx
Happy Birthday, Valp!!
FF
All,
Just to gloat, the sun is shining here on the Costa del Galloway, and there's no sign of inappropriate or excessive rainfall....Regards and best wishes to all experiencing rising damp, and curious as to why anyone would venture onto the floodplain to visit a Global Outlet. Can't it wait, Anne?
I can't choose between a deckchair here or on the frogging beach. Such a dilemma
xx
ed
Fifi - not good to see you down in the mouth? Here, come and have a glass of something with bubbles in it (your choice of what surrounds the bubbles). I've just had a brief chat with the Boss, and now feel heaps better of life, the universe and everything. Cheers!
Oh dear - is it the champers getting to me already?
I am just so overwhelmed by all of your Frondly greetings, I can't express how included you make me feel. Yup, better slow down on the alcohol, it wouldn't do to start gettin maudlin now would it :o)
Big Sis - that's so clever!
Anne P,
!
xx
ed
?
;-)
ed
Oh dear, it's clouding over again here. Thank goodness for the Beach!
Fifi
Crossing the Derwent this morning stopped to take some pictures which are now in the flickering place. Only lived here 15 years but never seen it so high in that time.
Happy Birthday Val P! Hope you have a wonderful day.
It may be dull in June, but I've brought more champagne down to the beach for the birthday celebrations, along with a box of absolutely yummy turkish delight.
I am in the middle of moving (well, I'm sitting at the computer while 3 nice men pack up all my stuff), and the PC goes tomorrow morning, so it may be a while before I can visit again. How will I manage without you all?????
xx
(((((((((((((((hugs for anyone who may need them while I'm away)))))))))))))
Happy birthday ValP. Shall we have a cocktailparty this evening? Champagne cocktails on bar already.
I have been planning to write something humourous for sometime. Not just the usual nonsense I post here but something a bit more substantial. Like a script for a radio comedy or something.
And I was thinking of things that I knew a little about that would make a funny but unusual situation for some humour... And I came up with the idea of the codebreakers at Bletchley Park. A group of misfits thrown together in the face of adversity to win the war.
Imagine my surprise when I got in the car to come home for lunch yesterday and I hear Hut 33 on our beloved Radio 4.
Well, that's another idea down the drain. Well worth a Listen Again for 30 minutes of light relief. Well done James Cary, the writer.
Jason,
I enjoyed Hut 33 as well. How about sending a poodle to act as an honest broker? Lots of comic potential there, I reckon.
xx
ed
Champagne cocktails - oh yes! Is Appy not here yet?! :)
The sun's out again, so I've draped our sodden walkabout gazebo skin over the patio furniture in hopes it'll dry out.
(See, Ed? It's not just you who can do smug!)
Just spoke to the folks on the dogNbone, and it seems their various health problems are slowly making progress.
Val, it's so lovely of you to share your birthday bubbles with me! As you can see, they've cheered me up no end.
Dave still hasn't noticed there is now a large accordion case lurking in the music corner, that didn't used to be there..........
Hee hee.
Fifi (ooh that rhymes! hic....)
Happy Birthday Valery ! xx
This made me smile!
We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(
Well, how about some 'ASS-ICONS?'
This is a GUARANTEED laugh.
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
You have just been e-mooned!
Fifi xx
Or this, from a fellow Frogger:
Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest Psychological
journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.
1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. Picture yourself with both hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
See? It really does work ... you're smiling already!
Now, about that committee...................!
Fifi
Fifi - fab! Tell all about the commitee? Anything to do with Arsey Troll Man?
Excellent work, Fifi, and bypassed the mods thru use of 'merican spelling!
Uu (haggis ass)
ed
Fifi - fab! Tell all about the commitee? Anything to do with Arsey Troll Man?
(_½_) - half-assed
(_0ºC _) - cold ass
(_byp_) -bypass
(_9_) - asinine
(_√_) - assure
Suggestions?
(³å╬_)
(³åΘ³å)
(³åΩ³å)
(_Ù» _)
jonnie (48) - bona! I vardered a dona water vole in the miror this morning. Must troll off to the riah zhoosher now.
Witchi ... no, different committee.
Chairman is considered by many people to be a sweet wee white-haired spinster lady ... actually she's manipulative and a bully, in her own small circle. And the power of being made chairman has gone to her head.
She does her bullying, with her vice-chairman sidekick egging her on, when there are no witnesses, which makes it difficult to bring it into the open ... she just denies everything. And if pressed, switches on the tears.
Gosh I sound hard, don't I!
She's only twice tangled with me personally, and regretted it.
Nobody new will join this committee, because the Dynamic Duo are so off-putting. So, for the good of the charity, I need them off.
Plan A was to work from within the committee, to get things changed. A year later, Plan A hasn't worked.
Plan B was to get myself voted in as chairman, then push through so much change (not really like me, but whatever...) that they'd get fed-up and leave.
But my posse weren't able to attend the AGM, and chairman had brought 2 of her own cronies to ensure the voting went her way.
Chairman and vice- both got re-elected, by a margin of 1 vote. Grrrrrr!
On the plus side, I did have the support of Secretary and Treasurer. And I noticed that the vice-chairman was not getting her own way nearly as much as usual ... so it could be that that relationship is going sour as well.
So there you go Witchi ... village politics at its nearly-ugliest. (The troll being far worse!) Bet you can't wait to move here!
Fifi ;o)
jonnie (48) - bona! I vardered a dona water vole in the miror this morning. Must troll off to the riah zhoosher now.
But first:
Happy Birthday, dear Val,
You're a helluva gal,
Happy Birthday, dear Valery,
From your old froggy pal!
Pop! Fizzzzzzzzzzzz chink gloop gloop gloop
\/
l
-
Here you are!
Good luck Perky! As one who has just been through it -- and will be doing it all again fairly soon -- I envy thee not! But hope it all goes swimmingly and you manage to get back to the blog PDQ.
A, x.
..bit late I know...bin busy doin a cash jobbie....but anyway....HAPPY BIRTHDAY VAL....enjoy wots left of it doll....innit.
.............HAPPY B'DAY VAL........
Thanks Appy. Am about to unplug the PC as I type, and then I'm going to get:
(_rat_)
lots of love to you all
xx
Oh Perky, clever girl! I may have to adopt that one!
Fifi
Ah, right I'm here.
Hello, er, everyone.
Now, um, is there anyone here called, let me see, ah yes, someone called Aperitif?
She summoned me to finish something, not sure what. Er, Oh! Nice beach! Is that an actual camel there, over there? Crikey.
Happy Birthday ValP, but wonder if you'll see it this side of the witching hour.
What a day! Gasping for something alcoholic to grab and take with me to a hammock.
On R4 today, discussing the Loch Ness Monster, I heard that one theory was semi-aquatic camels. Does that mean we have relatives of Nessie in our midst?
Oh - have I missed the cocktail partee? Many, many more thanks to each and every other person who's sent good wishes since the last time I thanked you. I'm running out of gasts to show you all how much I've been flabbered by this attention!
I've had a lovely day in June, and now I'm going to camp out here on the Beach with this "magic porridge pot" style bottle of bubbly! Plenty for all.
Roll up, roll up.
All the best to those of you who are suffering in the inclement weather in June. I must say that today, for the first time this month, we have had blue skies and it's been moderately warm. Well, they do say the sun shines on the righteous.......
;-)
Re: Froggers song -
I *AM* working on it --
It needs a few hours of devoted time - which at the moment I don't have, - largely due to the fact that we are currently full, and, the boiler, and other things.
I'm having to mix it from scratch - to get Fifi out of the mix - and sound roughly the same as the rest of the Froggers, initial attempts have been aborted - some weird, possibly Vista related problem, - anyway - great apologises to all concerned,
jonnie xx
I thought they were tropical penguins.
Anyhoo, as the Lord Mair says, all welcome.
(Er, direct them towards the dirty pit, please.)
Now then, Ned of Wednesday (173), It wasn't even Wednesday when you posted that! What are you playing at?! And if I have to have my work done by the time you show up then, help! -- you're a bit previous!
Glad you like the beach though -- do have one of these champagne cocktails. I have to say, you have fine artistic taste judging by the link you've chosen, although Miss Pooh Bear might give you a run for your money... ;-)
Groan. Just got off phone from friend. Hair cut off more than I like. Feel like Samsonista. How the h*&fck does one inch become two and a half?
And no sniggering from the boys, this is SERIOUS.
You just try it
No-one will be impressed; this is SHORTENING.
Morning -
Before I get on with June I have to get this off my chest. Had entirely inappopriate dream about our Eddie. Its left me a little unsettled, a bit like dreaming about a good friend and then having to met them for coffee the next day.
Am going to grab a comforting cup of tea from the perpetually refreshed Brown Betty on the Bar and have a soothing seing in the hammock.
Fifi - good grief, what are the WI like round your way?
ValP - how are you doing today? Happy unbirthday!
FrO - any better having slept on it?
ummm WW? what's a seing? :)
FF - that'd be a 'swing'!
Frances O (179) - There are plenty of us boys who imagine that every inch is in fact 2 and a half!
Shorty (183). As long as you have no complaints ;-)
I note that Ryan Air is running into problems buying the air line Connie's brother operates.
Stewart M (184) It might not be her German brother Herr Lingus - it could just as easily be her son, heir Lingus.
Witchi (180), I am incredibly envious. Any chance you could describe it in detail????
APpy -
My first thougts when waking (nearly) were 'have I been given Appy's dream by mistake!'
All I'm prepared to say that it was quite intense and that was an odd section involving a kidnap attempt!
PS...as I got so rudely interrupted by a pesky client!
Appy - it was very emotional but there was quite a good snog at one point...anything else my subconscious seems to have censored after opening my eyes! Not sure I'll be able to listen tonight without going a bit wobbly. Oh dear.
Appy and Witchi I am being abusive apparently. But I think you both need cold showers now!!
Crikey Witchi (187), maybe I'm not so envious after all!
Stewart - you may well be right! But I fear that'll have to wait until my sojourn to the Naughty Step has finished...
Last posting was Witchi's 191 at 12:55.
It's now 16:15.
Bloggage?
P
. . U
. . . . S
. . . . . . H !!!!!
Fifi
According to the webcam freeze-frame I'm looking at, labelled 17:29:48, something has made Eric laugh.
Still seems to have a fair-few teeth then...?
Fifi
Just been talking to MadMary.
She sends her love to everyone.
Her absence is partly pressure of work, partly not having time to keep up with all the threads. I suggested either sticking to the Beach (as I usually do apart from today!) or frequenting the Cransleycam.
Now... that bottle didn't last long. Perhaps just one more from the case..........?
Fifi ;o)
Witchi - unbirthday proving to be full of work and the rain is back! So-o sorry I missed the earlier goss about Eric - guess I'll just have to use my imagination! Talking of dreams, I got Pirates of The Carib 2 dvd from TD so I'm looking forward to watching that, then I can go to the cinema to see No3!
Frances O - oh, I'm sympathising, girlfriend, hair is so personal and precious, and whichever idiot suggested that it might be better after you'd slept on it has obviously never woken up next to a woman in the morning! My hair features No1 in my worry list as I'm starting to sprout white streaks and my current claim to fame is that I have never yet coloured it. I see slippery slopes appearing soon......and, I believe, pound signs?
Ned of W - I'm not forgetting that I'm supposed to be casting an eye over the musical webfest for you, watch this space?
Hi there Froggers! Fifi has reminded me that I've been neglecting you all and the beach.
I do sometimes try to read what's going on and I always think of you all around tea time, but I rarely finish work in time to hear the programme. I did hear most of it today and then lo! when I get home I have an email from Fifi.
So, here's a bottle of something chilled and some pate, cheese and biscuits I've managed to dig out from my fridge, by way of an apology.
How nice to be missed.
Summer resolution - keep up with the blog!
Oh and I hear that Aperitif has some hand embroidered undies! Now that's more interesting than Paris Hilton!
Mary
PS Happy Birthday Val! And to all those whose birthdays I've missed.
Mary
MaryMary - it's so good to have you back where you belong!
Among the other absent friends ...
...Mrs Trellis is very happy and is having too much fun socialising to blog (and good luck to him!) ... but sends best wishes to everyone
...Bill n Ben is still out there, still sending the occasional funny for Fifi's Bits (email me via the name link if you'd like to receive these!) but otherwise terse and witty as ever
...Jonnie is very tied up with servicing old boilers and suchlike, and will be back with us when he gets 10 minutes to himself again. (Nothing rude here .. anyone thinking 'naughty step' can take themselves off there right now!)
Fifi xx
Someone I care about has fallen out with me and I can't do anything about it. Are there any hugs going?
((((((((((HUGS!))))))))))) for Appy!
Hope they come round and make up with you Appy - life's too short for fallings out! GMx
Fifi,
Next time you play Dorset/Wessex, then shout it out on the beach. Thanks.
Ooh, Appy, come here!
((((( hug hug hug Aperitif hug hug hug )))))
Tell me all about it and let's find a way past the present unpleasantness!
Fifi xxx
Oh, Aperitif, how horrid for you.
Of *course* a hug, and would you like a piece of pretty polished coral to fiddle with? Better than worry-beads....
I do hope things turn out right as soon as possible, if not sooner.
Oh, Aperitif, how horrid for you.
Of *course* a hug, and would you like a piece of pretty polished coral to fiddle with? Better than worry-beads....
I do hope things turn out right as soon as possible, if not sooner.
(and if this arrives twice, which it might because the blog claims to have stalled, why then have two hugs and the option on two bits of coral)
Thanks GM, Feefs, Mr Fish. How lovely you all are. Extra large ones of your favourite tipples by way of thanks.
Upsetting people one cares for is the worst thing of all and I really didn't mean to. We shall see what tomorrow brings.
A, x.
PS, thank you for the two lovely bits of coral and extra hug Mr Fish!
And a large enveloping (((((♡f♡r♡u♡g♡))))) from me, Appy!
xxxxx
ed
Morning all, and a fresh morning ((((hug)))) for Appy. Hope things a looking better in the light of a new day.
Went to a lovely original production of The Tempest at Derby Playhouse last night - lots and lots of children and young adults from the Youth theatre. Some superb performances, really good comedy and the character of Ariel spread amongst many of the children. Great to see so many have the opportunity to play in a professional theatre.
Fresh beverages and eats on the bar. Enjoy.
Ap (205) - "After all ... tomorrow is another day."
Tell you what, if you do Scarlett O'Hara, I'll have a go at Rhett Butler!
Appy - big frugs ((( ))) hope thing are better today x
AnneP - thanks for the offerings, fortification before swing by the Bleugh thread!
I've just discovered a bottle of Cleanskin ozzie red wonderwine - along with a pair of smelly old shoes and some cast off ladies underwear !
I'm claiming the wine :-)
Morning chaps, turned out nice again I see. Hope all's well this morning Appy.
Appy - Telll us more - perhaps we can offer some advice?
Flowers maybe?
Something nice from M&S?
Thanks again for even more hugs. You are a lovely bunch. I think it's going to be OK.
I am about to rant, which is possibly not the thing to do on the beach but there isn't a new thread up and gosh I am cross.
We pay out phone bill by cheque every quarter - I know, such sweet oldfashioned things that we are, but there's nothing I hate more than a current account statement looking like a chinese laundry list full of strange names and running to 2 or 3 pages every month.
Now with our new bill comes a leaflet - our payment processing fee explained, - which basically means that if you pay by cheque, rather than direct debit quarterly or monthly they are adding 4.50 a quarter to your bill.
This is nothing less than bullying and discrimination against people who prefer to keep their own money in their own current account rather than give it to BT a day before it is absoluely necesary and what is wrong with that? I am just SO cross. I could scream. And sadly even after I have ranted I feel very little better.
Appy I am sorry to hear of your falling out, this happened to me once and I was never able to put it right, tho' not for the want of trying. The worst of it was that the friend who rang up and screamed at me down the phone was then scared to meet me for ever afterwards and would cross the road, run off the bus or whatever was necessary to avoid me. I don't know what she thought I would do, I only wanted a chance to apologise properly for what I had done ( in ignorance and not malice ) and try and rebuild the friendship. Masses of hugs and fingers ccrossed you can make up in the end.
jonnie (211) - The last time you mentioned finding ladies underwear they belonged to that Antipodean TV celebrity. Any association with this latest find, given that the haul also included the Ozzie wine?
Jonnie - That wine was intended for RJD, as a peace offering after we nearly fell out over, of all things, Quentin Davies on another thread!
The underwear is definitely not mine though.
Paul - we are hoping to play somewhere in Bournemouth on Friday 19 October, and then again at the Cransley on Saturday 20. Before getting
(_rat_) with the froggers, of course!
Further details will be revealed once there are any.
;o) Fifi
Fifi - i replied on the "Prime Minister Brown and the end of the Blair era" thread -post (38) I think.
That bottle of wine that Jonnie has is a different one - I finished yours last night!
(((((((Hugs to Appy))))))))
Hope things look a little brighter today.
Anyone here for lunch? Here's a batch of Staffordshire Oatcakes, filled with ham and melted cheese and a leafy green salad to go with them.
Appy - just flying in to say that I hope today turns out better.
I'm trying to resolve an issue in June and not getting anywhere fast.....so frustrating.
admin annie -I'm with you on all points of that post, don't like direct debit and resent bitterly being penalised for that!
madmary - hiya to you too!
Back later I hope, folks. Save some of that red Fifi, I may be needing it. RJD - hands off!
Re; admin annie
Calm down and fill in the direct debit mandate. It will come through as BT and shouldn't be a problem.
We have now been forced to charge £5 extra for anyone who pays by cheque.
Why? - because that's around the figure we are charged from our RBS business account. Cheques need people to process them, open envelopes, manually enter them - store them etc.. - they will cost BT more, hence they are passing on the charge.
I'm afraid cheques are becoming a thing of the past and many retail outlets will soon stop accepting them.
Well I thought if I told you the reasons it'd make you feel a little better
*Walks out of water, dripping wet, fit, tanned, lean & muscular, in the 'Bond' trunks*
*Stops. Looks around. Obviously trying to identify someone.*
*Spots Appy. Walks purposefully over to her. Gives her an enormous hug and kiss on the cheek*
* Walks back to the shoreline, dives in and swims off.*
Hi all, it's been and age since I last made it down to the beach. Nice to see so many familiar faces still here. I have brought a crate of chateaux neuf du pape as a bribe to be allowed back into the beach crowd.
I am going for a swim now, please help yourselves to the wine but leave me some;0)
PS. I case anyone is wondering, I used to go by the name Mrs Trellis. Fifi knows.
Ah, he made it then! Good to see you here at last Mr Snow, and the wine will make up for discovering there was a 2nd bottle of the Cleanskin around earlier and Jonnie didn't share it!
I've just posted this on the Gordon Brown thread, which Mr Snow was kind enough to send this morning:
This has come in from Mrs Trellis:
Brown kisses Queen’s hand – then mouth with tongues
A major breach of etiquette occurred at Buckingham Palace yesterday when Gordon Brown misunderstood the traditional offer of a monarch’s hand for her new first minister to kneel and kiss.
‘It was very embarrassing’ said a Palace insider. ‘She offered her hand to kiss and Mr Brown must have thought she was coming on to him. He then launched a sort of Tom and Jerry kissing her-all-up-her-arm thing and then he just locked his lips onto hers.’
According to the source, the Queen emerged from the tongue-ing session looking surprised and a little flushed, although having regained her composure she then asked two Royal footmen to leave them alone for a few minutes. ‘She always said Mr Brown was rather handsome, but none of us expected this.’
Downing Street were quick to play down the rumours that the kiss was beyond what might be expected. ‘Reports that the new Prime Minister got his hand ‘upstairs inside’ are grossly exaggerated. It was definitely ‘outside’ and the breast squeeze was a very brief one. Gordon Brown has always been a modernizer, and the quaint old custom of a light peck on the back of the monarch’s hand badly needed bringing into line with the petting experiences of today’s teenagers.’
The Queen seemed to have a marked spring in her step when she appeared at another function later in the day, although it was noticed that she had a large love bite on her neck.
Fifi
224)
Well I heard they had a fight.
.....please...X
(1/2)
225)
Not so much a fight - more of a wrestle. Apparently it got quite breathless and sweaty.
*Shudder* I have just pictured the scene in my mind. Not nice.
*Jumps from the rowboat, wades ashore dripping wet, in full Pirate costume*
*Stops. Looks around. Obviously trying to identify someone.*
*Spots Appy. Walks purposefully over to her. Gives her an enormous hug and kiss on the lips*
* Bends down and lifts Appy. As he walks back to the shoreline with her draped over his left shoulder he turns and says* "That Daniel Craig - he's got some style - but only some!"
Just received these gems from our Fifi - I think they deserve a proper airing. The Michael Buerk one is my fave :-)
-----------------------------------------------------------
1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his Balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's That eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."
9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
Appy - do you want to swap dreams? (222 & 228)
*Mr Snow wanders shambolicly ashore in full clown suit*
*Mills around aimlessly for a moment*
*Remembers the case of wine*
*Shrugs his shoulders as he sees Daniel Craig and Jack Sparrow*
*Offers Appy a bottle of wine and gives her a supportive hug*
*Smiles because it is so good to be back*
He [Diawarea] brings out an extra six to twelve inches and it's a fantastic tackle." (Scott Minto, ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳)
"If he opens his legs, he'll be hard to handle." (Graham Taylor)
"Ardiles strokes the ball like it was a part of his anatomy." (Jimmy Magee, RTÉ)
"Neil Harvey, standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle." (Brian Johnston, ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳)
"Botham struggled to get his leg over there." (Jonathan Agnew, ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳)
"Rutherford's asking the umpire how many balls he's got left... he's got two." (Bryan Waddle, Radio New Zealand)
"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..." (Andy Gray, Sky Sports)
"The Czech Republic are coming from behind in more than one way now." (John Motson, ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ in 27th minute of World Cup 2006 game against Italy.)
"And Michael Schumacher just stood on his seat and pulled out something special." (Martin Brundle, ITV)
"Gary Neville says that Porto are a bunch of girls who go down too easily." (Peter Schmeichel)
"The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey." (Brian Johnston, ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Radio 4, Test Match Special)
"Arsene Wenger's lips are firmly sealed on Sir Alex Ferguson" Sky News
"Reverend John, who is living with an openly gay partner, is no doubt feeling rather sore today", Paul Handley, Radio 5 Live
At least one regular frogger mentioned here!
Mr Snow - Welcome back - It has been a long time!
Jonnie - 'Well I thought if I told you the reasons it'd make you feel a little better'
I bet you didn't.
I know why they say that are doing it but fail to see the need to do it at all. They never charged for it before. It's a bit like that building society advert really - 'it'll pay for the bubbly at the shareholders meeting'. You will say that the banks are charging them more which may well be true, but why do the banks suddenly have to increase their charges. It's not as though they are teetering on the brink of insolvency is it. They make disgusting profits without having to screw every last penny out of every last customer.
It's been a *really* bad week. I'm saying nothing more.
Hope you get your fall-out sorted, Appy. Nice to see you back and about, Mad Mary.
Anyone got a career they don't want?
Thank you RJD.
The reason the banks charge the way they do is quite simple. It's because they can! Until people say "enough" in a loud clear voice they will continue to levee these charges. As soon as a hue and cry goes up about one set of charges they introduce a new set thereby off-setting any possible loss of income.
Cynical? Moi?
Daniel Craig, - be a pet and if you feel the need to stride ashore etc etc again make sure you bring your mate Mark (Strong) along with you.
Jason, what's up?
Do you feel like coming a long way north and typing for a living?
Suspect this won't really help, but here's a bottle of HIghland Park (don't drink it all at once though, as it's the really good 28 year old stuff).
Jason....Sorry to hear your news. It's their loss;o(
There's something else out there for you, so don't lose heart.
Mad Mary and Mr Snow, welcome back. Let's get together and give Jason something else to think about.
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Got it.....
Let's have a foursome.....reel. I've got the kilts, but who's going to play the bagpipes? Fifi?????????? Where are you??????
Let's open this bottle of Laphroaig to get us in the mood!
Jason G - oh, commiserations sir. That's a right bummer, they don't know what they're missing. A good man and true. Here, have a [[[frug]]]
Mr Snow - hello to you old frond! You've been missed.
Hey let's have a barbie? I've brought some lovely handmade chocolates sent for my birthday, all the way from Dublin. It's a huge box, so please do me a favour and help yourselves, I'm supposed to be on a pre-holiday 'eat only what you need so that you can have a blow out on holiday'
No - stop that, I said blow out!
Annie & Val - me too - I strongly resent and resist being forced to do everything by Direct Debit, just because it's easier for Banks! I'm very stubborn and continue to pay by cheque. I wonder what they'd do if you refused to pay the extra fee or asked them to justify it?
Jason - sorry for your bad week - but you know we think you're fab here! xx
Val - I tried putting one of your chocolates on the barbie but it wasn't too successful...
Mr snow! How lovely to have you back! The apparent sex change is more than a little alarming though. I do hope it wasn't too painful?
Growl, grumble. still feel seriously shorn. Former boyfriend now turned bestie (Aren't I lucky?) took the p last night. Mind you, he's beginning to thin round the temples, heh, heh...
My Mum will probably love it.
Why, my frogfriends, is hair so important to our self-images?
""
// oo\\
__
Goodness me! What a fabulous little adventure -- Jack Sparrow!! I am in heaven -- I mean, I thought Daniel Craig was more than lovely but Jack Sparrow!... Oh, and Mr Snow too! (Why Mr Snow rather than Mrs Trellis now then?)
Witchi, thanks, but I think I'll stick with these!
Mad Mary and Mr Snow, welcome back.
Thanks to everyone who sent good wishes -- we talked this afternoon and it's fine, it really is. I'm feeling so much better - thank you all for being lovely frog friends and letting me whinge.
Frances, hope you feel happier about it soon. It will grow, honest.
Jason, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope your week improves before it's over, and that the bad news just means there is good news around the corner.
What a fantstic blog -- where else could one have so many hugs and be carried off into the sea by Jack Sparrow??? I don't think I've ever been so wet and happy!
Who wants champers? Plenty to go around.
As a matter of interest, does anyone know if BT charge the same extra for cash payment made at a Post Office instead of a Direct Debit as they do for cheque payments? I am chary of direct debits because as I understand the system they seem to be able legally to change the amount without asking me first, so I'd like to know if there's a way round them.
The way BT *tried* to put this one over initially was by saying "we are having to raise our prices -- but the good news is if you pay by direct debit we can hold the price down for that method of payment"
Stinkers.
Jason - Sorry :-( - I can *REALY* empathise
admin annie :- I've been corrected by Simon (SO) who does the accounts - RBS charge us .75p -- he loathes having to take a trip down to the bank so hence the surcharge of £5. I didn't realise we sting people so much for cheques :-( Apologies to people who pay by cheque and to the RBS for misinformation!
However, why certain people get so hung up about giving us a credit or debit card these days beats me! - some of you have even heard me, do I sound like a boy who comes from Ilford! - err for those of you who don't know - it used to be Essex.
Credit and debit cards.. so easy - means less paperwork - saves a stamp and money to Royal Mail. Saves the enviroment - and you are protected - esp: when it comes to credit card fraud.
Now I've left a large bottle of Tio Pepe Fino sherry for discerning types, next to the two bottles of Asda Smart price whisky. Please leave my bottle of Blue Sapphire 48% (a present) for when we are all chilled out properly.
XX
What an image, a wet and happy Appy!
Byeee
ed