The Beach
What is the Beach?
It鈥檚 a place to go when the stresses of your real life need relieving. Sometimes it is fairly quiet and you might feel like you鈥檙e the only one around, but you can leave your 鈥榝ootprints鈥 for others to find later on. Othertimes it is the home for a real party, with constant gossip, leg-pulling, rumour, innuendo, chit-chat and weirdness.
If this were a forum (and it sort of is because we post responses to each other, not just to Eddie, hence our term for ourselves 'Froggers', a combination of forum and blogger) then the beach would be the off-topic area.
It's a tropical location, no matter the time of year it's always warm and pleasant there.
Sunrises and sunsets are spectacular, the evenings balmy. It has a number of different locations; the Nick Clarke waterfront bar; the smokers corner; Fido's Run for the dog-walkers; the Naughty Step and many others.
How do you find your way around? There is no direct answer to the question.
The beach is a moveable feast, literally. It will be renewed by our Lord and master Mr. Edward de Mair each Friday morning. This is because we have found in the past that when the number of posts exceeds about 600 the entire thing becomes unwieldy and unstable. A case of the beach turning to quicksand.
Froggers often leave bottles / glasses / trays of their favourite tipple on the bar for others to sample, not to mention big / small eats.
There is a herd of camels who frequent the sands, which froggers are very fond of. There are sun-loungers, so you can take it easy and catch some rays. Quite often the late-night attendees will have a barbie.
It's a fun place, with only one real rule; Be nice to each other; we are ALL chums here. New Froggers are ALWAYS welcome.
The real debate happens on the other threads. The beach is a place for banter, whimsy, relaxation and friendship, where jarring comments are not particularly welcome. There are certain very mild protocols, which you tend to pick up as you go along. So slip your shoes off, feel the sand between your toes, relax and enjoy yourself.
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I don't suppose I'll be the first on the beach but for once I have actually been online when there is a fresh new beach to play on.
I shall take my coffee down to the shoreline and make fresh prints in the sand.
So much nicer than frosty Birmingham.
Mary
well the tide washed away all the foam from last night and has left a sparkling (smooth?) beach behind
fresh brew (java today) and yoghurt and fruits available to all. though I'm sure someone 'll be along with a fry up soon...
Dare I try to wander on the beach? I've been getting 502'd all week....
Beware of quicksands!
(masquerading as slow 502s)
Salaam/Shalom/Shanthi/Dorood/Peace
Namaste -ed
I tried to post this at about 10:30 only to see it eaten up by the you-know-what monster. If it appears twice, apologies.
I think that it is time that we had another game of Uxbridge Dictionary, as played on ISIHAC. It is the time of year when a common complaint that you hear is that we have lost a sense of the true meaning of Christmas and this is quite understandable. For example there are some people who do not know the difference between a festive gathering and a party. Well to put it simply, a festive gathering is when you meet up with friends, family and/or colleagues to enjoy food and drink and possibly play a few games whilst party is something that comes between partdee and parteff. Are you able to share any other definitions with fellow Froggers so that we can all understand the true meaning of Christmas? If so, then this is the place for them.
H.
Holly (adj): The toe end of my socks.
and
Ivy (noun): Four
morning peeps......new day, new beach. The week has flown past, will have to do my Christmas shopping soon!
By all accounts the 'foam party' was a great success and Sid's impression of 'The Snowman' has been voted best in class!
I watched from the sidelines, one glass of ice cold scrumpy led to another glass of ice cold scrumpy whish schled too anne uver glash.......thud
'Sid's impression of 'The Snowman' has been voted best in class!'
Must get the sprouts on for Christmas day - ten days'll be enough, won't it? I know I should really have had them on a low light all week, but ...
Sid
Humph (5)- My Ubxbridge Dictionary (3rd Edition) has Ivy as:
Ivy (adj): A bit like four
It also lists:
Decorations (noun, pl) : Lengthy introductions to "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!"
Sid (7)
not done yer sprouts yet....tsch tsch. We put ours on when the leaves started turning in October, just after we turned the Turkey up to 180. As Mrs Diy says 3 weeks a pound plus a week for good measure, tough ol' bird.
Mrs Diy, not the turkey!
Mistletoe. The bit on the end of a mistle thrush's foot.
or
Mistletoe. Painful condition resulting from a mass-ive book being dropped on your foot.
Hi, all! I've got a whole afternoon off. Now what shall I do?
Mistletoe. The bit on the end of a mistle thrush's foot.
or
Mistletoe. Painful condition resulting from a mass-ive book being dropped on your foot.
Hi, all! I've got a whole afternoon off. Now what shall I do?
Aha! Get a 502, that's what.
Sorry there IS a real 502 problem today. Apologies. I will get 502'd posting this but you know what I mean...
Francis O (10 & 11)
you could nip round and check on Sid's sprouts
For those that missed it on the end of the last beach, I've started a Christmas Tune Quiz. It's purely for fun - i.e. don't expect any prizes apart from self-satisfaction and possibly an enlarged ego. Within the Excel spreadsheet attached to this are 100 different Christmas tunes (carols, traditional songs and 'modern' songs), each referred to only by the initial letters of a famous lyric within the tune (usually containing the title).
Here's one for free, to give you an idea of how it works:
AIAM,NCFAB = Away In A Manger, No Crib For A Bed
Once you think you know a few, you can post trivia relating to the tunes (but not giving them away!) - you can award yourself bonus points for setting / solving trivia (you'll find a few I set relating to artists at the tail end of my post at the end of beach 41).
(Attempt 2 - battling 502s here and at iPM)
Chestnut. Someone who's fanatical about chess.
Sid
Good grief...what's going on? A strapline NOT by Fifi, whatever next! ;-)
Btw Eddie I think its only fair I should warn you that I am going to be in TV Centre later this evening for a Beeb party. So if I were you I would aim to be out of the building by about 8ish - and warn security that if they see a stunning looking blonde (well I can dream ok, can't I!!!), ok a haggard old biddy wandering round the corridors calling out "Eddie, oh Eddie, where are you?", it will only be little old me! Will be with my SO though so I should be relatively well behaved!
Right better start getting ready.....
mit, I didn't think AM, GP etc was a C
Demur: the third of the wise men's gifts.
Stable: the first command a toreador tries to teach.
Chicken? Is your girlfriend at home?
Wine. What Cliff Richard does with mistletoe.
Sid
manger - like a mange, but a bit more so.
mit, I didn't think AM, GP etc was a C
502d. It's not rude, btw...
Mince pie. An industrial espionage agent in a Polo factory
morning peeps...grandchildren on a sleep over with us so breakfast will by a multiple choice affair.
We are taking them to see Father Christmas at Thursford today but hey think we are going crabbing at Burnham!
Anyhoo must put the cabbage on for Christmas lunch, how your Sprouts doing Sid?
Me, I like to call a spade a spade. I'm not particularly outspoken, I just think it's confusing to use any other term for it.
Hector Martingale
According to the 成人论坛 website, 'cocaine users are getting younger'. I have always avoided illegal narcotics but now I've found out that they actually reverse the ageing process I'm going to give them a bash.
Simon Halliday
I'm thinking of applying for X Factor next year. Do your readers think I should go for the dead parent story, or should I just rock up in a wheelchair?
Martin Christiensen, Luton
"See you next week..." sang the Double Deckers at the end of episode 17 of the popular children's TV show, aired on 30th April 1971. Thirty-six years later we are still waiting. First the Blue Peter debacle, now this. Are there no lengths to which the 成人论坛 will not go to mislead its younger viewers?
Albert Picture, Aberdeen
I am in the process of buying a car and have narrowed my choice down to two. But I don't know whether to buy the one that floats away on balloons or the one that's made of cake. I think I prefer the one made of cake, but I'd like the security of knowing that the ad had won an award before making such a big commitment.
Brian Fester
Mincemeat. A gay gathering.
Sid
Mistletoe: A lucky happenstance when dropping a heavy object
Fairy-tale: Beer made from ferrets
And a side order of 502...
Hello! Have I missed much???
Fifi xx
Fifi (26),
Are you feigning ignorance as to how much your name was taken in vain in the last week, especially regarding straplines (and advent photo)? See the previous beach, where a typical comment started - "That's the nth Fifi strapline in a row"
I was one of many who wondered if your holiday was a trip down to TV Centre to become permanant strapline writer ;-)
Oh 502's on the prowl this evening...
[or, given double postings, is this a way to increase PM's blog postings? Devil's advocate and all that]
502 twice - on a Sunday?
Thrice
Deep )27) : Oh, if only! I sent in 13 straplines in November, so I can only imagine that nobody else has sent in ANY!
Maybe I need to think up some more inventive noms de grenouille?
Fifi xxx
Oh, well, Feefs. they were great straplines, and they weren't ones we'd seen before (not to diss our dear Big Sis), so it was an interesting diversion for froggers.
Mad Christmas shopping (sorry. I said the dread words.) today. I loathe the rush and the pressure. But somehow I can't get so organised that I do my shopping weeks or months in advance.
I sent some straplines ... but not 13! (They're worth waiting for.)
Sid
Fifi (28),
Blogsy did away with your nom de frog on the straplines, for some reason. In any case I though the strapline was a random selection, not just the next "n" as they were entered...
Hectic in RL, not even started xmas shopping (but no clues from anyone as to what they want does not help), plus one of biggest work panics in history, so may not be around much for the next ...week? month?
Tadpole.....a bit Polish?
Tadpole.....a bit Polish?
502.......a froggers worst fears!
I've just been reading the old Beach ... did I really score SEVEN straplines in a row???? That can't be right surely?
And Deepthought... I really was in Scotland, acting as carer, household skivvy and personal ambulance driver for aged poorly parents last week, not swanning about TV Centre dreaming up straplines!
Although I am always open to offers.. .. .. ?
Fifi ;o)
Catatonic.....feline medicine?
Control......mythical creature with criminal traits?
there's more.....
Develop........Surgery for Satan?
French.........F shaped spanner?
502 at first jump!
Hey, Feefs.
Thank goodness self publicity is not dead. You deserve a Land Army Girl's film about you. At least a medal.
With scenes of you as Santa in a sleigh. To add interest you could be busted for looking the worse wear whilst in charge of a red nosed reindeer.
And you phasing down the dictatorial left with your brilliant 'Bridge too Far' (listenable (still?) at the Lying Scotsman ('men'?) web site.
And your tags. Now you're not just a name you sew into your raincoat.
Oh, dear petty jealousies do seem rife on this beach, you lot! Feefs is our queen, icon, saint and pin up. As any fule know, Fifi IS fame.
Never mind, lattes all round, as you used to say to each other. A good Pinot Gris (?) or whatever.
yours till the credit crunches, and all of you, even Fifi, have to get a proper job (joke!!!)
mac
Particle......to tickle your Father?
Particle accelerator......to tickle your Father, really really quickly?
Circumflex......to chop the end off a bit of cable?
one more and my Mum says I have to go in for me tea.
Brazil......sick underwear garment?
DIY, you are a one-man entertainment machine.
* mwah! *
Fifi
Piston: Humiliated
Loophole: A very long lavatory brush
Dichotomy: Surgical removal of an unwanted Welshman
Xylophone: Greek goddess of Scrabble
Feckless: Unsuccessful Irish lothario
Thanks Feefs, but FF, Sid and Humph are also entertaining the troops splendidly during this time of 502 fallout!
Dipthong........to wash an undergarment?
Female......the price men have to pay?
鈥.and local one...
Pigneys Wood......Boar with an artificial leg?
I was delighted this week when I heard the splendid news that Pete Doherty had kicked his drugs habit. Congratulations to the man. It has been a long time coming, but he has finally done it.
Edna Ballentyne
The news that Tony Blair is set to publish his memoirs for 拢5m fills me with disgust. What a ludicrous price for a book. I for one will be waiting until it comes out in paperback.
P Nelson
Yesterday, I wrote you a letter about how pleased I was that Pete Doherty had come off drugs. Imagine my disbelief when I opened my newspaper today and read that he was back on heroin. Shame on him. I thought he had more sense.
Edna Ballentyne
A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that "God would make her better." Presumably, that's a different God from the one that almost killed her with a tornado.
M Lovejoy
Earlier today I wrote to you expressing my disappointment that Pete Doherty has lapsed and gone back on heroin. However, when I came back from posting the letter I put the radio on, and was delighted to hear that he had booked himself into rehab. It is splendid news that Pete has finally put his drug-riddled past behind him once and for all.
Edna Ballentyne
I just saw a van drive by with the company name 'Seafood Solutions'. I must admit, I didn't know seafood was a problem.
Martin Kristos
and....
Consensus.......survey in a prison?
Decide......not de top or de bottom?
Detent.......de canvas shelter?
Declare......de cream bun?
Deduce....de freshly squeezed oranges?
.....right, off for elevensies......!
tenticle - Decimal tickles
Just seeing if anyone notices this in recent comments.
Decamp....de place for de holidays?
Demote.....de flooded ditch round de castle?
Debrief......remove de underwear?
Debeak.....de nose on de hen?
Demist.....de fog by de river?
Derringer.....de campanologist?
.....right....my Mum says I have to have my dinner otherwise it will get cold.....
mmmmm...faggots in gravy and 502 sauce for dinner!
Viz Editor - hahaha!
One of my (vet) colleagues has just received a Christmas card which reads:
Dear ****, Happy Christmas! Since we spoke this morning Sophie has had several loose motions.....
How charming!
"Washed up on the Beach" ....?
Oh, it just gets better and better!
Fifi
Washed Up (44)
hi.....good sense of humour, you will fit in well!
Yes. welcome - great name. And don't be put off by that stupid 502 message.
Sleigh ride - galloping off to slaughter the innocents.
Sid
(You will notice, I hope, that I am sticking to the original Christmas theme.)
Driving north on the M1 today the winter sun was low, pale in the southern sky.
The light flooded north so that in front of me the tarmac stretched away, black to my eyes. But in the rear view mirror I could see the road reflecting the sunshine and rolling out behind me like silver carpet
mac
Driving north on the M1 today the winter sun was low, pale in the southern sky.
The light flooded north so that in front of me the tarmac stretched away, black to my eyes. But in the rear view mirror I could see the road reflecting the sunshine and rolling out behind me like silver carpet
mac
That me in lights that is.....eat yer heart out Feefs!
cataract.......feline west end show?
catarrh......feline musical instrument?
catastrophe......feline spelling?
catamite.....feline vegitable spread?
catalyse......feline sight organs?
catholic.......feline drink problem?
and for Sid......
Noel.....lack of elevated railway in Chicago?
it's getting harder!
Diy:)
mac (51)
crikey mate.....you up for PM Blog poet laureate post?
nice one!
and a 502 to u too
eider......spotted the wife in shops?
elder.......grabbed hold of wife after eider?
electronvolt......high jump after electric shock?
fango.....leaving a Cliff Richard concert?
fanfare.....buffet at a Cliff Richard concert?
fanatic......where Cliffs devotees are kept?
fanny.....a Cliff Richards devotees leg joint?
apostrophe.....see above for missing examples!
Mrs Diy says I have to have me dinner now otherwise I can't come out and play this afternoon!
Diy:)
Could we have a game of "Late Arrivals at the Office Christmas Ball鈥?
- From Office Supplies will you please welcome, Mrs Actinthe-Stationerycupboard and her eager daughter Courtney
- From Human Resources will you please welcome Mrs Mastrae and her upstanding son Chris.
-From the catering department our Scottish chef, Mr Miglassagin and his dipsomaniac daughter Phyllis.
castigate - a scandel involving tiny wheels...
Feeling the lurve for all you silly types today :-)
A, xxx.
parting....chinese dad?
pastor....walk round steep knoll?
petard....well tough dog?
petulant.....cat you did lend out?
and for TIH (56)
From the music dept....Mr and Mrs Fonium, and their brass band addicted son, Hugh.
Followed in by Mr & Mrs Valdi and their daughter Vi
heh...heh, back in a tic, I have to put the kettle on
Intermittent (56) You forgot Mr & Mrs Bennetlookatthesizeofbaublesonthetree, and (all together now) their son Gordon Benntelookat.....
From accounts......Linda Eval has just turned up with her sister Prime.
Popping in from the Chinese takeaway next door is Mr & Mrs Ming and their loveley daughter Pri.
I say, this jolly good fun!
From catering here comes Tony Cid and his brother Ran.
oh I see Mr & Mrs Page have brought their pet sheep, Ram, along.
Jill Atica has come with her brother Sci.
I see the Bolic's sneaked their son Sham in.
And as the Office Christmas Ball descends into drunkenness, insult and general mayhem, would you please welcome from Security Mrs
And as the Office Christmas Ball descends into drunkenness, insult and general mayhem, would you please welcome from Security, Mrs Andcart and her disorganised daughter Helena.
TIH (62)
wash u mean drunkennesh amd inshult.......(mind the glitter ).....THUD
And doddering into the Glass Box, Mr Mair and his ancient uncle, Old Grey...
FO (67)
nice one!...more...more!
DiY
Mower! Mower!
Fxx
morning peeps..
Margate.....the mother of all scandals?
Macaroni......the inventor of the pasta wireless?
Will you welcome, please, Mr and Mrs TogetthedrinksinfromthebarLASTtime and their son John. No, hang on, it was Michael TogetthedrinksinfromthebarLASTtime.
H.
GIGGLE a poorly rock concert
has anyone seen my Flip-Flops, I had them in August?
Hectic week at work is finished so the festiveness is just sinking in. Now where are all the beach decorations?
rustle.... rustle.... rustle.... TINSEL!!
**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**
Xmas - song competition religious ceremony
Incidently, although it's always good to see a fellow frogger with a strapline, I see they've started recycling them!
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DIY, I borrowed them, the sand wa stoo hot back in August. Here catch........................................
Oopps I wasn't aiming for that. Sorry!
Aaawww shucks - my Christmas tree didn't survive the journey to the beach! Oh well, we've got some broken branches to build a fire later!