Right that's that then. Next time you're down the local shops and you come across a bunch of big Kiwis doing a haka, no staring OK?
According to , in which case I disrespected me telly for three hours last night. It could be worse, mate. You could turn your backs on it, drop your shorts to it, possibly even Didier Drogba it by pelting it with coins...
Frankly any time the opposition responds in any way to the haka, there's this uppity reaction from the New Zealanders. Now I understand the tradition argument. They've been doing it for years so let 'em get on with it. But clearly there's more to it than that.
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Not long ago I was busy buttering Arsene Wenger's parsnips after his team of international children at the Emirates. It was all an Arsene side should be: swift, neat, attractive... and it looked as though the crisis was over.
But there was a serious oversight in my analysis. I forgot that William Gallas was still skipper. If Wenger made one serious error this season it was retaining that fella as captain.
I can't think of any other person who's ever been given the armband as William.
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Think of Terry Butcher and ? That's right - 1989, vital World Cup qualifier, against the Swede (this is pre-turnip England of course) swathed in bandages and looking like an extra from Blackadder Goes Forth, repeatedly nutting his gory head against cross after cross as if his life depended on it.
It's impossible to overstate how many per cent Butcher gave in an England shirt. It was never less than 100% and sometimes - as is the way with committed footballers these days - it was more than that. People say that's impossible but if you can get then England's lionheart can certainly give at least a hundred and ten.
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So let's just recap on the for Wednesday's game against Germany... withdrawn are:
Joe Hart (foot's knackered); Steven Gerrard (torn muscle thing); Wayne Rooney (bit of a sniffle); Rio Ferdinand (sprained his hand trying to write summat); Frank Lampard (dodgy rib - possibly Chinese barbecue, we're not sure).
But oh no! We've just heard of more troubles of our stout-hearted lads! Also out now are:
Theo Walcott (his dog's poorly); Joleon Lescott (certified hopeless); Gabby Agbonlahor (cheese allergy); Gareth Barry (needs to take a jumper back to M and S cos his Mum bought him the wrong size); Jermain Defoe (he's got a Pilates course Wednesday night)
Ashley Young (eye test); David Bentley (brylcreem removal)....
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At the risk of making this blog a part-time Harry Redknapp Appreciation Society, it seems clear that the man is an utter miracle-worker.
One and I thought that was it for the old boy, but he's arrived at the Lane with the promise that he'll turn things around if Levy gives him the right tools. Now I'm not saying that David Bentley is a right tool, but there's certainly plenty of talent at his disposal and he's making a brilliant job of blending them into the right mix.
was achieved with seven changes from the weekend team - and though Liverpool might put forward the excuse they had 10 changes themselves, I'm not sure that's a good enough explanation for their performance.
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Every time I write a flippin' blog on here I get the same one-eyed responses from partisan fans. Gerrard dives - Robbo hates Liverpool! Ronaldo dives - Robbo hates Man U. Drogba dives - Robbo hates Chelsea.
Has it ever occurred to the lot of you that Robbo hates diving? The worst offenders in recent weeks have been the neurotic ninnies of North London, the Gooners (not all of you, of course, but definitely some of you). This blog is Arsenal-hating apparently.
Well listen up and hopefully the next time the Emirati get a bit of a poke in the ribs from me they'll remember this. I think Arsene Wenger has done more for Premier League football than any other manager. (Calm down you citizens of Cornwall and Kuala Lumpur - I mean along with Fergie of course).
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So America has proved itself to be, on the whole, not quite so stoopid as we thought it was. .
Those of us who suspected that a ticket with the message 'Obama n Biden' might have convinced the rednecks that the Godfather of Islamic Terrorism was the Democratic candidate have been proved wrong. Apparently there was a heavy turn-out, but let's face it in America it doesn't matter how many people come out and vote, the turn-out is always going to be heavy, very heavy.
Has owt else happened in the world in the last few days? Nah. Even , in which Christian Panucci broke the world record for Space Offered to an Attacker Inside the Penalty Box, raised barely a murmur.
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I see Rory Delap's trying to assure all of us that Stoke City have more up their sleeve than his Like hell they have. Watford's long ball specialists from yesteryear have nowt on Stoke's one and only route to goal.
The only real problem with it is it works. Not that we can judge the effectiveness of such a tactic against a defence as fluffy as Arsenal's. Cuddly toys the lot of them. Squid have got more spine.
You're left with the conclusion that Arsenal are the of the Premier League. Lovely to look at but in desperate need of a pie or two to beef them up a bit.
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I'm Derek Robson. People call me Robbo. Legend has it I was raised in the furnace and smog of Teesside. Some might say I took the hard road. I like to tell folk I had trials for Middlesbrough, for Hartlepool and for burglary (not guilty). I've always loved sport. My job is to say it as I see it - whether it's in the bar of the Blue Bell or on this blog. You won't find me calling a spade a soil-redistribution implement.
