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Russell Brand

Sing a Song of Sixpence

  • Mr Gee
  • 14 May 07, 11:17 AM

After much speculation and Government intrigue, the countless rumours have finally been placed to rest. During the last week, numerous negotiations and several clandestine meetings have been held (with the powers that be) in the hope to eventually resolve the political state of affairs. So, it is with a heavy heart that I can now formally announce: there will be no new podcast of the Russell Brand show available during the week following the Eurovision Song Contest!

Understandably the aftermath of this news has been dramatic. Tony Blair decided that he couldn't go on anymore, Gordon Brown has admitted that mistakes have been made. Alan Sugar expressed his "condolences" (he kindly sent us some flowers along with some DVD copies of the Leonardo DiCaprio film "Catch Me if you Can"). Even Mikey, our studio whiz-kid, has put himself forward to assist any distressed listeners who need help in getting through this "difficult time" by offering his shoulder to cry on (what a trooper!).

Actually, I reckon that Russell should've put in his own bid for the Eurovision Song Contest. Perhaps he still should perform a duet with Noel Gallagher and sing "Islands in the Stream" or maybe he and Matt could cover the De La Soul classic "3 is a Magic Number"...... What say you?

With no show being aired, alas there is no poem (sniff).

Anyway, here's a reworking of one that I did last year giving my take on the curiously fascinating world of celebrity:


The Ballad of the Wandering Star

Abandon all sleep

Ye who would seek to find solace complete amidst celebrity's streets

Abandon quiet nights in,

Ye who would speak of it's delights and,

Headlines and Camera Flashlights that bring .........promise awaiting to be seen.

Abandon such fears of the dark,

Ye who would willingly embark,

To be flung into the light and left to craft... their artistic dream.

Bring me your show of burning gold,

Bring me your flyers fuelled with desire,

Bring me your five-star reviews....oh clouds unfold!

Ring me your showbiz agencies... I'm available for hire.

Yes, abandon humility,

Reservedness and fragility,

For Ostentation and extravaganza form the order of the day,

Abandon all reality,

Bathe yourself in sweet insanity,

Imbue concoctions of elixir vanity,

As the spotlight's clarity clears the way.

For our Stars will rise and fall between each curtain call,

As they are lost in the enthrall of the cheers and tears,

So stand firm on platforms tall, toast this career and deck the halls,

Abandon it all except for the sheer...

....abandonment of it all

Comments

  1. At 08:18 PM on 17 May 2007, Arny wrote:

    Gutted there is no podcast this week, I have nothing to listen to on the train. At least I haven't had to be embarassed by tittering to myself all the journey - but please don't do this again...ta

  2. At 10:18 PM on 17 May 2007, Lou wrote:

    i think i'm getting withdrawl symptoms!
    although those pictures of russell do make up for it....

  3. At 11:31 AM on 18 May 2007, wrote:

    Argh! Come on Saturday roll up 'n roll on... flipping, political, pappy, caccy eurovision show! Oh well it's Friday now, onli one day to go..... one..........long.........arduous.......strenuous......journey......of a day to go. I've missed ya'll.
    The gorgeous photosies more than make up for it.. One of them is featured on my website, on my blog. So everyone can glare.. I could of sworn that when I focused on a point in the middle of the photo (the one of russell in that glorious bikini), my eyes went funny and Russell started that typical Hawaiian dance like them optical illusions, he ad an 'oop roond his waist n all... whats going on. Am I seeing the future?
    Russells future proffesion is hula hooping! Yeh man.

    XXXX

  4. At 12:48 PM on 18 May 2007, El Chimp wrote:

    Duuude!!! 3 Is A Magic Number is by Bob Dorrough, NOT De La Soul!!! Although the De La Soul version is mint.

    Also, get Russ to get cracking on working with Noel Fielding to get Goth Detectives up & running as a sitcom. It's already amassed something of a cult following!!! (look it up on Facebook )

    Yeah!!! :D

  5. At 12:05 PM on 20 May 2007, sarah wrote:

    who's looking after Morrisey while Russell is away, on an earlier show he said he (Russell) didn't even know where he was living in London!
    We don't want a repeat of Christophe xxxxxx

  6. At 08:11 PM on 21 May 2007, caring for a caved in baby bunny wrote:


    This is for you Russell.
    Hang in there Baby Bunny, I felt even from an etherial place, that the real source of all goodness wants you to know that you are not alone, ever! That source would have me encourage you and say you,re a good person.
    Dont be afraid. There is nothing to fear. You,re away from your farmiliar turf for a reason that will benefit you. I know its unsettling but your still the same person, even though its frustrating that you dont exude your ussual confidence. You dont have to prove yourself to any one babe.
    Take a deep breath, the truth you seek is out there and its more keen to reach you than you are to reach it, you are dearly loved by your friends and fans.
    You are a very special person, ok have a wonderful time in your remaining weeks.
    Support yourself with the knowledge that even without your fame and noteriety, your path is closely guarded and no harm will come to you now.
    Grab the gifts as they are offered to you.Learn to let the love in when you feel its from a truthful solid source. Your spirit will bear witness to what is good and what is not. Above all always stay defiantly free, this is a strength. We have to learn to stand on our own two feet, to have good solid relationships that are not co-dependent. You are experiencing a part of yourself that has never had the chance to develop,of bieng enjoyed for who you are not for what you do.
    Love you loads.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  7. At 06:07 PM on 26 May 2007, Dancing the Hokey Cokey VOGUE wrote:


    Hello!
    What av you bin up to?
    Busy, recording the summing up of Big Brother.
    I watched it twice last night.
    The lovely changes of clothing Russ.
    I wasnt salavating at your body, what do you mean? I was mearly admiring your lovely complexion. The first take, showed you with a flower garland and underpants , I think that was my favorite look.

    You must,v bin so busy rehearsing, watchin the old footage of the past BBs, and writing comments. It was very well presented.
    I was laughing and I liked the captions written under the clips, they were classic.
    I dont know how you fit it all in!

    I dont want to go on about it, but youve got your body looking really good,mmm what beautiful skin.
    Obviously looking forward to the show tonight with baited breath.
    You,ve already recorded it in the early hours of this morning.
    You are both doing a seamless job of keeping it all together, I dont think anyone really appreciates the commitment to continuity.
    It would be so easy to cancel and loose intrest, as it may seem so abstract. But be encouraged as I think when it is all over and you are back broadcasting to the British nation under less strained conditions,
    people will stand up and take notice of the hard work envolved and see it as quite an achievement.
    We went to see the long awaited Pirates of the Caribbean yesterday. When the Flying Dutchman is pursuing the Black Pearl through the vortex of the massive whirlpool in the sea, created by Calypso. It puts me in mind of you guys chasing through life against all odds to touch home and make something happen.
    Crazy, but full of hope and optemism.
    I,m sure your kind of show is the first of its kind to break down the barriers of entertainment.
    At the risk of making other hard workingbroadcasters indignant.
    No offence intended. As all different strokes and genre,s are needed to give a broad picture of what reflects the tastes of British listenership.
    I think what makes it unique is the trust Mat and Russ have. They are so open and unafraid to break out of Radio Heads and just act like two mates really enjoying bantering together.
    You feel a bit like youre part of it, beacause the boys are quite generous in spirit.
    They start to explore what it is to be honest about who you are,which is a wonderfully levelling factor.
    After all we are all on our journey in this life, some choose it to be prescriptive because of the fear of bieng exposed. So they need a sence of position. I,m a terrible one for that. When I join some kind of group, that has all the dynamics of group politics , I slowly start to try and control things to feel secure in my position. The outcome is always so wretchid,so I have to leave because I have created a monster.
    One day in another place I will let go and let God.
    I love that little book,Dont sweat the small stuff.
    No good for me though, coz it says not to talk over people, and to let them finish what theyr saying.
    I always do that! I know, theres no hope.
    My favorite sort of conversation is one where you can leap from subject to subject without warning and the person your with is so in tune they go with it. A very selfish way of conducting things. Why should a conversation topic be brought to its conclusion before another one is started.
    I want to tell you something a bit sacriligious.
    After my son has finished watching his cartoons in the morning, he flicks the channel onto the Christian Radio channel for me,as I am waking up out of my comatozed state of sleep.
    Well this morning, someone phoned in to the station , I think the presenter had put a request out for people to phone in and say what great things God had done for them.
    So a call came in from a lady. She said" I,ve got learning dissabilities, and I went to get my injection, but they wouldnt give it to me because they said I was too dirty, they said I had dirty Knickers on." At this point the presenter said" Let me just put a song on"
    So he managed to end the call with the lady who had embarrased him.
    After the lovely uplifting hymm song, a second caller came on. She said that she was a doctor , reeling off proffessional status ,including gynacologist. When she rung off, ther presenter said, " there, you see, we do have intelligent people listening to the show"
    I was amazed, it was like a sit com.
    What a hoot.The poor disabled lady and the poor presenter, who obviously was humiliated and felt it would reflect badly on the integrity of the show. I love moments like that!
    I do feel a bit bad, as if I were causing a slur on such a fringe station, that is there to try and stand for what people believe, too be good and true.
    But its funny, the more people engratiate themselves with doing something that is suposed to reflect them in a light of bieng rather special and good and upstanding. The more they are likely to look stupid and the cracks are easier to see.
    We humans can never lift ourselves up as having it all right. Ther human nature prevents it. Pride comes before the fall.
    As Jesus himself said to the rich young man.
    " Who are you calling good? There is only ONE who is good!"
    Among other things he said. He never considered himself equal to God.
    The integrity of mankind is definately a goal, but inconsistensies and fallability is what marks us as humans.
    I now want to apologize for this rant.
    As is customary. Not as a disclaimer, but because it is badly written, and I cudnt be bothrered to make it better of inteligable.
    Its just a little pastime.I read it and its awful, but im gonna press Post anyway becaus , just because. Just think of it as junk mail. From an illiterate , unimaginative person with nothing better to do with their time.
    BYEEEEEEEEEE> LOVE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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