Last of the Summer Coco Pops
And so there it was... in a nutshell; the concluding chapter of the "Hawaii broadcasts", put out and set adrift amidst the sea of podcasting uncertainty for all to download and enjoy. Just after I had uttered the last remaining syllables of my poem and just before we'd headed off heroically into the news, I brought out that cheap plastic horn and honked it for one last time as a fitting salute. It's majestic fanfare and melodic harmonics sent a resounding shockwave around the studio, standing as a proud testament to all involved that simply declared, "We made it!".
It's been quite an experience doing all these long distance shows via what Matt jokingly refers to as "The 成人论坛's most expensive phone call!". Every week Matt, Mikey and myself would all collectively meet up like Charlie's Angels and converse with a small speaker-box in the studio from which Russell's distant voice would emanate. Pleasantries would be exchanged, small-talk would be made and tantrums would be quelled, all of which would all eventually lead to: "The Infamous Coco Pops Pre-Show Ritual".
This seemingly ancient tribal chant, was the means by which Russell and Matt would try and gauge the time delay on the phone line by singing the well-known breakfast cereal theme tune:
Russell: "I'd rather have a bowl of...."
Matt: "Oh, are we starting now?"
Russell: "Yeah c'mon mate, we need to check the delay. I rather have a bowl of.............."
Matt: "..........Coco Pops!"
Russell: "No No No, that's waaaay too long....Mikey you gotta fix it!"
At this point Mikey would throw his hands in the air and exclaim like Scotty from Star Trek "I cannae fix it Captain, if I push it any further the engine's gonna blow!". He'd then spend the next few minutes frantically pushing buttons, twisting dials and pulling several levers, before finally smiling and giving us the thumbs-up.
Russell: "I'd rather have a...
Matt: "..Coco Pops!"
Russell: ".....bowl of... Hey, wait-a-minute!! Mikey, what HAVE you done???"
Next week, Russell will be back and ready for action on his home turf. So join us for the reunion, the emotion and a revolution of confusion as Mr "Sexy Dancing" himself shows us his Brand new moves.....(sigh) I can see a new pre-show ritual occurring!
The Second Coming
As wise men charted from afar the secret paths of the stars,
Of the moons,
Of the planets,
Three-fourths water, one part granite,
Let's take an expansive view, to select what we can choose,
Matt's "kitchen roll" comparisons and excessive salmon fish abuse,
Call the recruits: a few monkeys dressed in delusional suits?
"Let them eat cake!" will be the cry before the revolution ensues.
The soldiers are exercising,
The students are revising,
As their "righteous" leader wears a nappy, the situation?....compromising!
But look to the skies and try to visualise a world beyond the strife and the hate,
Beyond the words that cause the hurt, just let the dancers gyrate,
As we await the special sign a Shark Messiah's being born.
Let's celebrate the second coming to the sound of the horn!
Wooohooo, fantastic show to round of the era of the Hawaii shows.
Hope Russ is glad to be back home, were there any avid fans at the airport there to greet him reading this? What was the iconic scene like?
Any ideas where to get hold of one of those horns? I'd love one!
I loved the poem G, as I was listening to it I was thinking 'this is one of best yet!'
Tinyt xxxx
That horn has been used by both Wogan and Stuart Maconie! Something to live up to.
Wasit like to be back? Cloudy sky but a warmth in the air. Busy, London rush, farmiliar old ground. Still buzzin from the massive, transient, turnaround.
Its great to be on the move. A rollin stone, dont gather no moss. It is true. Everythin can seem to make more sence when you are a traveller. You can sort of step back and take it all in, without feelin bogged down. A good position to be in.
Its nice to know Rusell is safely home again. That you will be together tommorrow night, and at the same time of the day.
Have to take hats off, you guys did really well. Time to reaclimatize will be well deserved. It will be interestin when you fall back into old habits, how much the time away has changed your perspective. I hope that it will kick start a newfound sence of freedom. Inniciating a new comfort about life.
It was littluns birthday yesterday. He planned to have a quiet one at home with his new playstation games.
My newly found half brother said he would pop round with a pressie. I had to pop out to post an application for a music scholership that had bin finalised in the mornin, by littlun playin "Aint misbehavin" by Fats Waller, accompanied by the piano, while I held up the fone so that two examiners could give a second endorsment. It had to be in by today. After I posted it I popped to the shop to get a cake and a few party bits. When I got home, half the family were there!
I felt so embarrassed. They were all sittin in me bedroom,where the telly is, havin made themselves tea. I had left littlun home alone and was sure they wud judge me. Littlun is 11 now though.
I lit the cake an asked littly to pause his PS or turn it off. And he turned into the kid from a well known paranormal film, head spinning the full axis to bellow at the top of his voice "NO!" Kid from hell, showed me up big time! Normally when its just the two of us he is a poppet. Goodness only knows what transformation takes place when we,re in company!
When they asked littlun if he liked their pressent of hand held wireless controllers, He bellowed, "NO! I,M GOING TO TAKE THEM BACK AND GET THE MONEY!"
I nearly died!
At times like these, one becomes painfully aware of where one went wrong.
After, when I was tellin him off and giving out pocket money fines. He did the saddest crying, had a nose bleed and said he was so sorry. He said theyed all barged in and ignored him, putting down his new spidey birthday toys as if they were Mc Donalds toys or toys from the pound shop. He paints a very good picture that somehow makes you side with him, little muffin! He said they picked up my teddy like it was an unwanted rag doll and were asking why he had so many stitched up patches of sewing on him and no hair left.
Later last night I gave my ted a lot of reasurance kissing his non existant crevases where his eyes used to be. I must say he felt alot better. Me and teddy have been through a lot together, he,s been with me over the ups and downs of life.
I nearly lost him once to a freinds daughter, but shamefully and lifesavingly asked for him back. Other peoples kids are not going to understand the significance of an old balding teddy. If she,d have kept him, she would never have been aware of the treasure an untapped comfort she had in her possesion.
He had his bell ripped out by the dog and was badly mauled by her.
When I first got him, I was 5. He was boxed up and at that age I was unaware of the value of him myself, so ripped his arm off. Wisely Mum and Dad , had him fixed at the hospital,[toy shop] and took him away for a year, putting him back in the box and at the top of their cupboard. When we were reunited I looked after him properly.
We just went to the pictures for a birthday treat, to see the Fantastic Four, Silver Surfer. I loved the noble spirit of the surfer, he was from out of this world and had a wonderful serenity.
Now we,r in this internet bar. I have got a love hate relationship with this place now. Love it coz its got internet, hate it coz its full of slick people who are not so nice. When I first came here they were really nice, now they are incredibly dismissive. I hate it. Can you come over here and beat them all up for me? Ahh well, I d better draw to a close coz the door mans turned up an its gettin late so were probably gunna get turfed out soooon.
Look forward to show tomozza, loved the music last week. Its so great to sit and just smile and laugh for those two hours youre on. You have certainly got what it takes to constitute a brilliant show.
Will you be recordin in the mornin? If you are, Jonny Ross will be pleased to see you, So will Steve Wright as he records Sunday Love songs. Ask him to play Zoom, just one look and then my heart went Boom. And dedicate it to you all. Russell, Mathew Morgey and Mr. Gorgeous Bombastic G! Saying that you have always been very special to me since I have known of you, bringin sunshine and smiles. The first time I eva saw Russell was on the Jonothan Ross show. He was so enigmatic and exiting , I just new he was going to be lovely to watch his carreer unfold. A diamond in the rough, I,m hanging on to him. As I,v seen him on subsequent shows, well heard him too, I,v bin captivated by something a bit special and unusual.
Morgey is hillarious too. Mr G s just a sweetheart. Right ennuff flannall. I,m gunna go before the proverbial turfin out takes place.
Love you
Byeeeeeeeee
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I have had areally difficult time deciding who is the sexiest vegetarian... Russell, Morrissey or indeed, myself (yeah, right!)! Russ got my vote in the end, but Mozzer will always be in my heart!!
Russell, you're my babe! Wuv Oo!
I voted for Russell but he didn't mention the tiny pocket Prince was on the list. It's all very well saying it was between Russell and Judge John Deeds, but he did leave out some other rather interesting people.