If you wanna be the best
Well it's now the New Year! So there are new boots, new(ish) jingles and the fresh crispy new winds of 2008 are now blowing around town. Considering that last week everybody was feeling a little under the weather. This week, Russ and Matt seemed decidedly determined to kick off the New Year in style... by attempting to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. Who needs diluted resolutions anyway? they're for wimps, half-steppers and part-time jedis... you need to go for the number one spot baby! You see, after many years of watching "Record Breakers" on the telly, I've learned one thing: a fancy trumpet solo and a catchy song are all that you need to succeed in life (hmmm... wait-a-minute, that's two things!).
Anyway, it was time to give the "Banana Scoffing", "Speed Reading" and "Whoopee Cushion Utilisation" records a good run for their money. But alas, the elusive goal of victory still evaded us like that special "50% off" January sales bargain. Valiant as ever, we're going to give it another bash and at least try to break one record in order to show that we've got some "dedication" (nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!). So send in your suggestions and ideas for different ways that we can get into the book (preferably ones that don't involve bananas!).
For the next show, we'll be live from the Isle of Wight, visiting David Icke with more interesting delights for Saturday Night!
Stormy Weather
If the Winds were to call up and request a small order of caution,
Surely with "Dancing Caberet Monkeys", we'd be obliged to lauch them a portion,
If the clouds could text an invitation to your dreams,
Would you project to break records for the bananas you eat?
To be or not to be.... guilty of "buckle envy"
Uncle U.F.O. was impressed you know by a quick Hamlet soliloquy,
There's been no Whoopee Cushion filling, but new jingles are jingling,
And David Icke says what he likes, with revolutionary thinking,
If the rain were to e-mail in an attempt to hail,
Us all as successes, yet sometimes we fail,
Matt's razor's been trimming,
Wogan's now squinting,
You've been listening to Russell Brand: the original "Tit-Milk" victim!
Thank you for the funniest show ever - when Matt puked up the banana I nearly wet myself!!! I just didn't stop laughing!
Love C
clearly you need to invent some kind of Pin Pinning record?! Get PIN PIN into the record books!
Dear Mr Gee,
Russell is a live stenographers nightmare unlike no other and his vocal acrobatics could no doubt be the theme of a legitimate world attempt. The longest and most convoluted sentence in one breath about a single topic? A sentence including all the regional accents in the UK and around the world? He could do anything im sure. I really enjoyed Russells Booky. I usually hate autobiographies but his pulled me through the pages like being handcuffed onto a mental treadmill and it mercilessly being set to top speed before collapsing into a heap at the end, a more humbled but entertained individual.
Take care, Ione xx
p.s There鈥檚 a record label ive just come across called `Gee`. Is this yours?
Brill show guys! love u both! watched your dvd last nyt russell was excellent bought back the memories wen i saw you in hastings!!!! PIN PIN!!! x x x
Hello Gys,
How s 2008 treating you so far? Just watched Russell doing his breaking the record bit did he manage to achieve this? Well Russell I cant wait for you any longer and have had to subscribe to Match.com, Im so lousy at finding romance in the real world I thought i would try in the cyber dating world. I did it for a laugh but a load of pics of me drunk at my sisters wedding and a few of me larking about at a party, I thought bugger it lets just see what sort of deviant men i will attract. I subscribed on Wednesday didnt bother to look at the site until Friday and blow me (pardon the pun) I got 162 views (that means interest for anyone whos intersted in this blog!!!) also got twenty winks (which means I I wouldnt mind a piece of that!!!) I sat down and viewed all 162 men thinking I mustnt be shallow I must go for personality over looks but after half and hour of reading the guy`s profile (which most seemed a bit too good to be true and porbably a load of lies) I thought bugger this and winked (thats a cyber wink to let them know your interested) all the tasty young men with a naughty `Russell` glint in their eye!!!! I have had a few e-mails all the polite conversation when you know damn well most of these guys have`nt had a good you know what in a while and are just subscibing to match.com coz that think women will be thinking `they must be genuine if they are prepared to pay money and take time out to put a profile up (oh no ladies think again!)` im not convinced yet!!! I sent an e mail to this guy who had russell like qualities about him (looks that is!) he definetly had a glint in his eye!!!!) I really wish I had made more of an effort with my profile and put sexier pics up instead of me cross eyed sipping a big cocktail, oh well at least im not conceited and hopefully the guys that are viewing it will thing im game for a laugh!!! Going to my local tonight have had to aviod it for a couple of weeks as i got totally wrecked new years eve and ended up insulting half the pub was in disgrace for that behaviour!!! Hope the show is going to be a good un!! I will download it on my i pod and listen to it tommorow. Thanks for all your hard work guys you keep us all upbeat and its good escapism at the end of the week.
Big hug and cuddly stuff
Kara xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey! great show!
just like to say that i went to monkey world last year! lol it was great! i think its so nice that Russell donates money to the place!
id also like to say i think you should get mcfly on the show!
xxxx
Slightly off the wall one this but can any body else see an affinity between the lovely Russ with the equally lovely Nigella Lawson? Apart from the fact that he can't cook, she hasn't got as much bodily hair, I presume, she's posh and he comes from Tilbury, she's got a great bod, sorry Russ, wrong gender, but the reason for my remark is those little coquettish - correct context, correct spelling, dunno - to the camera show great similarity. Could be related or indeed the same person!