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A selection of lines from parliamentary sketch-writers.

It was a sober event at PMQs with David Cameron asking questions on Haiti and the attack on two boys in Edlington. It was down to Labour's own MPs and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg to raise the issue of Cadbury being taken over by Kraft.

that the PM's attempts at humour, which have worked in recent weeks, are now failing, as the Tory leader has changed the rules of the game by choosing sombre subjects:

"David Cameron has spent years tormenting the Prime Minister with cruel jokes. Now that Gordon has replied with two or three jokes of his own, Cameron has said, 'We're not playing that game now.'"

by the behaviour of the two main leaders:

"Gordon Brown was not only rude and childish (hey, that's the sketchwriters' job!) but also repeatedly evasive. Gosh he thought he was clever. Smirked a banana smile at Ed Balls with a look that said 'ain't I just the one?'
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"David Cameron essayed his Little Miss Tragic act and asked about misery issues (Haiti, child abuse) which bought him some insurance from insults and saved him looking negative."

the PM's new chosen tactic is to talk his opponents into submission:

"In his determination to impose his will on the House, he delivered such long answers that he seemed intent on crushing his enemies by sheer weight of words."

a new nickname for the Liberal Democrat leader following his Cadbury-based question to the PM, calling him "Mr Creme Egg" and continued with the egg theme in describing the exchange:

"Another egg flew through the air. Gordon picked it up (Clegg's aim is not good. He is, after all, a Lib Dem) and threw it back."

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