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Two Quotations

Mark Devenport | 10:46 UK time, Monday, 23 June 2008

From time to time I get sent copies of books dealing with Northern Ireland, most of which are academic tomes. But in recent weeks I've received two books which are rather lighter in tone, both of which I've enjoyed flicking through.

So here's a couple of quotes for a "name that book" competition. Answers at the end of the week. Authors banned from taking part.

1. "My memoir will present you with almost everything that you could wish for in such a narrative. It has orgasms, phantasms, fanaticism, witticism, ostracism, osteopathy, empathy, energy, synergy, misery, mystery, history, hysteria, wisteria, wisdom, condoms, cordons, organs and, last but not least, orgasms."

2. "While I often heard it said that politics is a beauty contest for ugly people, I never thought that so many people would actually set out to prove it true.....There are some particularly unfortunate photos. Sammy Wilson has foregone a tie in favour of a black Aran jumper which, and let's call a spade a spade here, almost makes him look like a Fenian. As for Mickey Brady, well, suffice to say, it is not for nothing that he is known in these parts as An American Werewolf in Newry and Armagh. Then, capping them all, you have a sheet-white, terror-struck John O'Dowd, who clearly has just seen a ghost - or been asked to give evidence to the PSNI's Unsolved Crimes Squad."

Not my words, I should stress. So whose are they?

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