³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

Hello all. It's Mark back at the blog. Thanks Martina and sorry RJ.

After my Halloween holiday it's back to the more frightening events of working life. This morning I made my way inside a spooky looking castle which should be full of cobwebs given that nothing has happened there since the summer.

But no, the cleaners are still working at Stormont Castle and there wasn't a spider's web to be seen. And when the First Minister came to join me he didn't look especially wraith-like. You can hear his views on the last minute alterations to Sunday's homecoming parade and whether the Stormont deadlock might lead to an early election on Inside Politics tomorrow at 12.45pm on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Radio Ulster.

If you can't wait for that, though, the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ NI News website will be webcasting the DUP conference in Armagh tomorrow from 11am until 4.30pm. The coverage, including the new leader's speech, will be carried on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳2 from 11.45am until 1.10pm. This is the first time the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ has covered one of the local party conferences live in this way. I shall be joining Jim Fitzpatrick in Armagh for our conference programme.

On Sunday the Politics Show will have more on both the DUP Conference and the Army Homecoming Parade in Belfast. Will the withdrawal of the RAF fly past and Sinn Fein's re-location of their counter protest prove enough to take the heat out of the situation?

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³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Northern Ireland is launching a new development this evening in our political coverage. We are going to feature party political broadcasts to mark each of the four main parties' annual conferences. The Ulster Unionists would have been the first in line but the party re-scheduled its conference this month. So it's the DUP who will be making the first broadcast. That is tonight at five to seven on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ One, and on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Two at 11.20.

Don't forget the popcorn!

And expect some unprecedented live coverage this weekend of the DUP conference. Mark Devenport, the political editor, will be back with his blog tomorrow - and has all the details.

Thanks for your patronage during my blogsitting this week. Ta ta.

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• - What's this?

After much effort by Sinn Fein, Irish is finally catching on in loyalist areas, not least East Belfast.

Take a trip to Stormont, along the Newtonwards Road and you can't miss the words: Faugh a Ballagh.

These Irish words are festooned from almost every flagpole and lamp-post, as part of a newly sighted flag. It seems the flag - royal blue with a union jack in one corner and the Irish words at the bottom - has been raised to mark this weekend's Homecoming parade for the Royal Irish Regiment and others who haved served in Iraq and Afghanistan. "Faugh a Ballagh" is the motto of the Royal Irish Rangers, which was incorporated into the RIR.

As Caitriona Ruane - Sinn Fein's Irish speaking education minister - will well know, these Irish words translate as "Clear the Way."

Perhaps, Sinn Fein's opposition to the parade has had an unexpected boost for her beloved mother tongue.

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Sinn Fein's Martin McGuinness got a special invite to this evening's Oasis concert by none other than the stars themselves. Noel and Liam Gallagher met the Deputy First Minister on his plane back from London today. A well-placed source said there was a long conversation about the peace process. It's not the first time the Gallaghers have met the minister who apparently believes they are very well informed on our political situation. I'm told the minister's favourite Oasis song is "Wonderwall."

The minister however informed the rock stars he couldn't make their gig as he was rather busy - might he be working on a solution to the political deadlock? In that case, perhaps Oasis might want to remember our politicians this evening when they sing: "Don't Look Back in Anger."

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Friends of the Earth have seized on remarks made by the DUP MP William McCrea during last night's Parliamentary debate on the Climate Change bill. Dr McCrea told the Commons that his party supported the bill and the need to cut carbon emissions. As he made the comment, Dr McCrea referred to a "very sceptical colleague" sitting beside him.

FoE's Northern Ireland director John Woods suggested this was an "obvious reference to Sammy Wilson" (The DUP is presently checking this with Dr McCrea).

Welcoming the DUP support for the bill, FoE suggested this was evidence that Mr Wilson, the Stormont Environment minister, was out of step with his own party colleagues.

Of course, perhaps by way of making his "sceptical colleague" feel better, Mr McCrea did add:: "However I do not accept that we can say with authority that man is the sole contributor to the situation (climate change.)There are those who have overegged the case."

Foe's press release - largely dedicated to condemning Mr Wilson - didn't mention that bit.

It did however quote MP Rob Marris: "I am saddened that the Minister for the Environment of the Northern Ireland assembly should be 35 years behind in his thinking."

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As Peter Robinson polishes his debut speech as party leader at Saturday's annual DUP conference, there's one member of the audience he doesn't have to worry about. His predecessor, Dr Ian Paisley, a famously formidable speaker, will not be there.

While the former leader will be there on Friday evening for the conference dinner, the doc has chosen church over party on Saturday. I'm told he's for Liverpool on church business.

I'm delighted however to say I will be along to Armagh - as will my colleagues including Mark Devenport and Gareth Gordon.

PS Thanks to all for your good wishes with my blogsitting - hello RJ.

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Jim Allister has been busily reading an NIO consultation document entitled "Improving the Administration of Elections to the Northern Ireland Assembly."

And no, it's not nearly as dull as it sounds.

Mr Allister has found that the NIO has tacked on a clause about replacing MEPs. Now Northern Ireland has long bit of an anomaly on that score compared to other parts of Europe. Here, if an MEP dies or resigns while in office, the law requires a by-election. But in other regions, a list system applies whereby a subsitute is named at the time of the election.

The NIO is proposing a different approach. It is suggesting that a party's nominating officer simply appoints a replacement if the MEP departs while in office.

Mr Allister smells a rat - or a trojan horse as he puts it. He's appalled and is claiming this will enable parties such as the DUP to field a high profile candidate for the poll, and then quietly replace the MEP with someone less glamorous.

Could this sweeten the pot for Nigel Dodds standing?

Of course there's alot of buzz (again) around Edwin Poots being the candidate.

Watch this space.

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I spent today in transit between London and Belfast. During the day, though, I noticed a couple of interesting developments.

Members of the Stormont Culture Committee expressed their concern about the threat of job cuts at UTV. More than that, the Committee is also seeking information about establishing a local broadcasting commission. Although broadcasting is not devolved, it's obvious that our local politicians have strong and often divergent views on programming.

and have already been down this route before so it will be interesting to see whether Stormont follows suit.

Tonight a different kind of commission, the Parades one, allowed a Sinn Fein counter protest to the Army Homecoming Parade due to take place in Belfast city centre on Sunday November 2nd. The Parades Commission noted with concern that, besides Sinn Fein's event, there are plans for other, illegal gatherings in Belfast on the day, all of which will prove a headache for the police.

The assembly is in recess next week and I am determined to beat them to it, by taking leave starting on Friday. My colleague Gareth Gordon is looking after Inside Politics this weekend, whilst Martina Purdy promises to blog sit. I will be back blogging from Friday October 31st, when Peter Robinson will be preparing for his first DUP conference since succeeding Ian Paisley as leader.

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Although some Labour backbenchers appeared distinctly unimpressed by the move, the government secured a comfortable 322 to 157 majority for its procedural motion on the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill. The motion pushed all amendments dealing with abortion to the back of the queue. Diane Abbott called it a shabby manouvre. Amidst some cat calls, Jeffrey Donaldson denied the DUP had done a deal with the government on the matter.

There is talk at Westminster of a private members' bill on abortion in the next session of parliament. But by then, presuming the DUP and Sinn Fein overcome their terminological dispute about what "at all times" means, justice should have been devolved.

Pro choice campaigners are consoling themselves that at least they raised the profile of their case. But with only 2 MLAs declaring themselves openly in the pro-choice camp today may very well have been - as both Anna Lo and Diane Abbott themselves acknowledged - the last chance to change the abortion law here.

P.S. A couple of Westminster "big beasts" weighed into the debate. Ann Widdecombe backed the government. Ken Clarke did not and produced a good one liner on what he saw as the cynicism of ministers' tactics. "Cynicism would take my breath away" he argued "if I was not becoming ever more accustomed to this process on the part of a control freak Government that regards the House of Commons as an embarrassing nuisance to be silenced on all suitable occasions."
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Well the peace process wouldn't be the peace process without some arguments about terminology. Today the Assembly and Executive Review Committee started a war of words which could be fairly fundamental, if it represents the collapse of the DUP Sinn Fein agreement over policing and justice back in July.

At that stage Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness co-authored a letter which included the sentence "We believe that your consideration should be based on a single department in which policing and justice powers would reside with a single Minister elected at all times from the Assembly in a way which would ensure cross-community support."

This sentence led to all the talk about Alliance taking the justice job. Since then, the SDLP have been hammering away at the line that this boils down to "no nationalist need apply". Today Alex Attwood scored a hit when he raised the matter in the committee,and Sinn Fein's Alec Maskey responded by saying that "at all times" did not mean the cross community vote should be permanent. Later Raymond McCartney argued that the sentence meant a future Justice Minister should "at all times" be elected "from the Assembly", rather than "at all times" by "cross community support".

We are in "eats, shoots and leaves" territory here. But the significance is that if the July agreement on a future Justice ministry falls apart, we are back to minus square one.

The row led to the Committee being adjourned until after Halloween, a move which puts in doubt the supposed mid November timetable adopted at a previous meeting. More importantly, we now have Sinn Fein accusing the DUP of reneging on the St Andrews Agreement and the DUP accusing Sinn Fein of reneging on the July letter. Not a great basis for moving forward.
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With the presidential poll just weeks away and local students about to debate the issues at Queen's University on Thursday night, I thought it was about time this blog gave some detailed consideration to the latest voting trends aross the Atlantic and the potential repercussions for NI of either an Obama or McCain victory.

Then I looked at the clock, realised I had only a few minutes to go before Stormont Live and decided instead to settle for a link to this

P.S. I originally wrote that the US Election event was taking place on Wednesday. The US Consulate points out that it's on THURSDAY. My mistake and apologies to anyone turning up on the wrong night.

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Just in case you were thinking of going away, booking tickets to a concert or a football match, or paying a visit to the hairdresser, I thought I better advise you all to keep free the following dates pencilled in (according to a written answer to the Alliance's Stephen Farry) for a future Executive meeting.

They are 30th October, 13th November, 27th November, and 11th December.

I am sure tickets for the Stormont Castle turning circle (the closest we can get to these potentially exciting occasions) are already exchanging hands between touts for considerable sums, even though the written answer notes drily, "this schedule may be altered in response to changing circumstances".

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Sometimes you get stories which are beyond satire. First there's Sammy and the £40 fine. Until I heard his explanation this morning, I assumed the Environment Minister was just an MOT sceptic - someone who believes that as long as your vehicle appears to be working fine on a day to day basis it's a waste of time paying too much attention to what might or might not occur in the future. But no, alas, he was taking the bike to the garage.

Then there's Ken and the tale of two (or is it three) Newcastles. For those who believe the British Irish Inter Parliamentary Body (soon to become Assembly) is a pointless talking shop, we now know that it at least provides a useful reminder in geography to those of our peers suffering "senior moments".

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The pro-life campaign group, Precious Life, is predicting it will have thousands of supporters at a "Rally for Life" at Stormont tomorrow. Another much smaller pro choice event is expected to take place in the centre of Belfast.

All this activity has been prompted by next week's scheduled debate of an amendment to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill. An amendment tabled by Labour's Diane Abbott, the Liberal Democrat Evan Harris and others would extend the 1967 Abortion Act here. Another amendment, from Frank Field, argues that the issue should be left to the Stormont Assembly. Abortion is a criminal justice matter so until we get the transfer of justice powers it falls to Westminster, not Stormont.

Reports from Westminster suggest the government may try to "time out" the amendment by using a pricedural motion to push it to the back of the queue. This would be a convenient tactic so far as the Labour whips are concerned, in as much as it would avoid them putting a whip on an issue which is a matter of principle for their backbenchers. Diane Abbott's office hasn't returned my calls, but in a statement she said she was appalled by what she described as the government's "underhand tactics".

Irrespective of the manouvreings at Stormont, Precious Life are pushing ahead with what they are billing as a major rally at Stormont tomorrow. They reckons thousands of people will gather on the hill. Smaller pro choice demos are expected in Belfast, Lisburn and Derry.

We had a bit of a dress rehearsal for the Westminster debate today at Stormont, when the Health Committee heard from pro-life and pro-choice campaigners and the Chief Medical Officer on the topic of the Department of Health's draft guidelines on terminations.

Pro-life doctor Lorraine McDermott told the Committee that the extension of the 1967 Act here would mean 6000 unborn children would be killed every year. The DUP's Tom Buchanan called all abortions "murder" prompting a rebuke from the Family Planning Association's Audrey Simpson for using such an "emotive term".

The thrust of the mainly pro-life Committee seemed to be that the guidelines should be toughened up. Chair Iris Robinson told the Chief Medical Officer Michael McBride that it was important that a clear statement of abortion's illegality should preface the document.

During the often traumatic hearing, Llyn Coles of the Choose Life Ministries fought back tears as she told the Committee about how she had attempted suicide after undergoing an abortion 27 years ago.

With all this in mind, tomorrow's Inside Politics tackles abortion. My guests are two members of the Assembly's United Community group who are anything but united on this topic. South Belfast Alliance MLA Anna Lo has written to MPs in support of extending the 1967 Act here. West Tyrone Independent Health Coalition MLA Dr Kieran Deeny is a member of the Stormont pro-life group who will be attending tomorrow's rally.

You can hear them debate the arguments around the Westminster amendment on Inside Politics tomorrow at 12.45pm

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I was away in London yesterday hence the gap in blogging. I return to find that the British are withdrawing, but Sinn Fein is complaining about it. I am referring to the rates rebates being paid by Derry and Limavady Councils to the MoD. With Limavady facing a bill of nearly £400,000 out of the million pound rates rebate even local unionists like David McClarty are expressing their concern.

It reminds me a bit of a line from an old Marie Jones' play "Mister, I'm not in favour of a United Ireland. I couldn't afford it."

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Well Sinn Fein have been demanding a timetable for devolving justice, and now they have one. Five weeks to be exact, ending on November 18th. Okay, it's a timetable for the Assembly Executive and Review Committee to discuss the matter, not for the actual appointment of a minister, but republicans might regard it as a start.

The timetable was adopted by the Committee by 4 votes to 3 at a hearing when a number of unionists were absent. Alec Maskey denies pulling a fast one on the unionists, but the DUP are feeling sore. One senior DUP source called it "child's play" and vowed to overturn the timetable at the next meeting. However some officials aren't so sure they can reverse the decision.

Separately the Committee agreed to give other parties' observer status. But they have not yet moved on a suggestion that Alliance should be co-opted as a full participant. The Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness wrote to the Committee arguing that the Stormont institutions are "in default" of the St Andrews' Agreement - a statement rejected by some Committee members.

The real decisions on devolving justice will be taken not on the Committee, but by those who UUP member Danny Kennedy described as the "big beasts" - the FM, DFM and party leaders. However the latest tussle between Alec Maskey, who wants the Committee to get a move on, and the unionists, who won't say how long their deliberations should take, is a reflection of the wider realities so far as those "big beasts" are concerned.

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The prize for most unseemly metaphor of the day goes to David McNarry, who in his assault on the Finance Minister Nigel Dodds over the alleged black hole in the budget, quoted the financier Warren Buffet as saying "It is only when the tide comes in that you can see who is bathing naked. What I say to Minister Dodds is - the tide has come in."

Of course, as he later acknowledged, it was a misquote as the tide has to go out, not come in, to reveal a minister with or without his speedoes.

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• - What's this?

The DUP saved Gordon Brown's skin and returned to Belfast in victorious mood. They deflected questions about the price they had set for their 9 votes. But they clearly believed their action would place them in an influential position, not least because the PM would require their support in the future as the 42 day measure promised to ping pong between the two Houses of Parliament.

Then Gordon Brown came to Stormont and, far from expressing his gratitude, he used his speech to rub the DUP's noses in Sinn Fein's line on the need for a date for devolving justice.

At a Labour conference fringe meeting, Jeffrey Donaldson sounded hurt about how the DUP had been treated.

At theTory conference, Mr Donaldson had to deal with Conservatives who retained vivid memories of Iris Robinson holding up 9 fingers to symbolise the votes which propped up the government.

Then last night, in these changing economic times, the Home Secretary let the 42 day measure drop after its resounding defeat in the House of Lords.

The DUP, of course, insist they voted on principle. Maybe they got some other assurance which they are still keeping in their back pocket. But if they had hoped to cash their cheque on this matter at a later date they may find that it has just bounced.

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The answer is when it's called a "voting strategy". The UUP met the TUV and agreed unionists should transfer to other unionists. They didn't announce an exclusive pact (something Sir Reg Empey, Danny Kennedy and Jim Allister have been at pains to clarify).

The UUP hint that the strategy could encompass the DUP once they have selected a candidate. However they didn't wait for a a Dodds, a Donaldson, a Poots or someone else to be picked before holding their meeting.

Certainly the symbolism of a photo of the UUP and TUV delegations sitting down together jars with all the talk of a shift towards the centre ground and a "new political force" with the Tories.

They say the crucial thing is that 2 unionist MEPs should hold their seats, but come June the crucial question is more likely to be which two unionists?

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Jim Wells appeared on Stormont Live today to tell us about his concerns regarding food waste at the Assembly. Jim has been given suggesting 5% of scones and 5-8% of sandwiches are left over after Committee meetings or functions. I'm sceptical. Who counted the scones?

Jim is also keen on energy saving. The Assembly Commission tells him that motion sensor lighting has already been installed in the gents in the Stormont basement. So if you are ever visiting the facilities make sure you move around or risk being plunged into darkness.

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With the deadlock continuing, the chat in the corridors this morning was all about the possibility of an election. It's hard to know whether this is for real. It's in Sinn Fein's interests to allow rumours to spread about an election, as proof they are not bluffing. Equally the DUP has to give the impression it is unconcerned about the prospect.

But what if we were to go to the polls? Would SF devastate the SDLP in the way they did in the Enniskillen council by-election? If so could the SDLP be removed altogether from the Executive (currently the threshold is 10 seats, although in the last Assembly it was only 8 seats)? Or would nationalist voters punish republicans for the months of gridlock?

How many seats might Jim Allister's TUV win? Would the DUP's position as largest party be under any serious threat because of a TUV-UUP pincer movement?

On Inside Politics, Sir Reg Empey touched on this last question when he talked about the mistakes he believed had been made in drawing up the titles for the First and Deputy First Minister.

Under the St. Andrews' Act the largest party has the right to nominate the First Minister, irrespective of whether they belong to the largest designation. But if SF could nominate a First Minister, would unionists agree to serve as Deputy?

Would the DUP and SF push to be the largest party cut more ice with their voters than any arguments over who was responsible for the gridlock of recent months?

Lots of questions there, but we are in "what if" territory. Shaun Woodward may not let things to run so far. But gird your loins, just in case.

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Shoppers may be less inclined to indulge in retail therapy during a credit crunch. But are your buying habits influenced one way or another by what's happening at Stormont? My colleague, consumer affairs correspondent Martin Cassidy, has been out on the High Street for the Politics Show and he told me that one retailer insisted that people were more ready to make purchases when there was a "feel good factor" on the hill, and less inclined to shop during a period of gridlock.

I'm not entirely convinced by how scientific this is. Maybe good times at Stormont coincided with good times in the global economy and vice versa. But if you want to assess the argument further watch Martin's report on the Politics Show on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳1 at noon this Sunday.

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of MLAs read this blog "regularly" or "occasionally". That's according to a "Stratagem/ ComRes MLA Research Panel Survey" of 50 MLAs conducted over the summer. The survey suggests that 18% of SDLP MLAs, 10% of Sinn Fein MLAs and 9% of DUP MLAs never read this blog. But this is no good. I need names, so I can work out who I can target here without fear of retribution.

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is my guest on this weekend's Inside Politics. Is the postponement of his party's annual conference a sign that the UUP's talks with the Tories have hit the buffers? Will the Executive meet this Thursday? Is Stormont politics irelevant in these days of the credit crunch? And how come top bankers still get their bonuses whilst his party colleague Michael McGimpsey is considering plans to lay off 700 nurses?

There's a flavour of the line of questioning. To hear his answers tune in at 12.45pm this Saturday on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Radio Ulster.

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Here's a question. What would you rather have? A Nobel Peace Prize or a sausage named in your honour?

Well if you are Martti Ahtisaari you can have both. Mary McAleese, Gerry Adams and Mark Durkan are amongst those to have congratulated the former Finnish President and Inspector of IRA weapons on his award, announced today.

I've been racking my brains as to why the international trouble shooter reminded me of a sausage. Finally I dug up a brief profile from the Guardian in May 2000 which included the information that he is "probably the only world leader to have a sausage named after him; after his election as president his supporters renamed a Finnish delicacy Mara, after his nickname."

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Victims Campaigner Willie Frazer has turned his ire on Barack Obama over the Senator's support for an inquiry into the murder of the lawyer Pat Finucane. Mr Frazer says the Presidential candidate is "lax" on terrorism and challenges him to support inquiries into the murders of IRA victims like Edgar Graham.

One might be tempted to say this is a bit like the "Skibbereen Eagle" keeping an eye on the Tsar of Russia, but Senator Obama should beware. The victims campaigner has proved a handful for Fr Alec Reid, various nationalist councillors in Newry and Mourne and has kept an eye on negotiators at Leeds Castle and St Andrews. So watch out Senator.

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• - What's this?

Anyone who watched Stormont Live on Tuesday might have noticed Basil McCrea talking about plans from the Education Minister Caitriona Ruane for quotas being set for the proportion of children from lower income groups in each post primary school. I wondered aloud whether this would mean the "bussing" of children between affluent and less affluent areas. John O'Dowd did not deny the plan but pointed out that many children are bussed to school in any case and that, outside of some areas of North Down, most schools' catchment areas would include a mix of families from different income brackets.

To try to get to the bottom of this I have got my hands on some confidential notes from a briefing given by the Education Minister on Wednesday of last week. The minister talks about the challenge of addressing social inequality within the transfer procedure. she says that currently 1 in 6 post primary children are entitled to free school meals, but only 1 in 17 grammar school children are entitled, compared to 1 in 4 in the non grammar school sector.

She continues "let's say that 20% of an oversubscribed school's applications were from applicants entitled to Free School Meals. What if this meant that the school had an obligation, in law, to ensure that 20% of its places were allocated to Free School Meal entitled applicants. Such a "responsive" quota could clearly have a ceiling to prevent schools receiving large numbers of Free School Meal applicants incurring unreasonable obligations".

The ministers' critics argue that this would amount to "social engineering" but she obviously sees it as a way of "grappling with the challenges of social disadvantage".

The confidential note also reveals the minister's thinking about what to do with rural children. She appears to want to write into legislation a child's need to go to the "nearest suitable school" alongside geographical criteria such as distance to school, catchment area or parish. she thinks this would avoid her new transfer procedure becoming a "post code lottery".

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• - What's this?

Yesterday I sat in the dock in Stormont Room 152, together with fellow hacks Eamon Mallie of Downtown Radio and Billy Graham from the Irish News. We were giving evidence to the Stormont Committee on Procedures about how the Assembly's question time might be reformed.

There seemed to be a general consensus that the question time isn't sufficiently engaging or relevant. Our thoughts, boiled down, included more topical questions (currently MLAs have to table their questions a fortnight in advance) a ban on reading (if you have to read out a question, surely it must be too long) and possibly splitting the current Monday question time (instead of three ministers appearing in a row, you could have two ministers on a Monday and another two on a Tuesday).

If anyone has any better ideas let me know and I shall pass them on to the Committee.

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At the time £26.5 million seemed an awful lot of money. In this era of £400 billion bank bail outs it looks like loose change. But the Northern Bank raid was the biggest robbery in British criminal history and the collapse of the trial today poses serious questions for the PSNI.

The Chief Constable blamed the IRA and the "dogs in the street" are reputed to know everything. But whoever carried out the raid remains free, despite some of the proceeds of the crime turning up at the police's New Forge Country Club.

I noted recently that Sir Hugh Orde was probably polishing up his CV for Sir Ian Blair's job at the Met. The next day Shaun Woodward told me Sir Hugh was the very best. But if I were him I'd keep today's verdict well down the paragraph on "previous experience".

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• - What's this?

Having taken a bit of flak from John McCain over his questioning of the need for a US Special Envoy, Barack Obama has re-entered the NI fray. In supplied answers to the Irish American Unity Conference, the Democrat candidate has pledged his support for a "reconciliation process that seeks the comprehensive truth about past violence" and "an independent, public
inquiry as Judge Cory recommended" into Pat Finucane's murder.

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Forget Iris Robinson versus Richard Dawkins. The Irish American lobbyist Fr Sean McManus has declared war on the comedian Bill Maher over his film poking fun at religion called Fr McManus claims that "even Northern Ireland has not produced worse bigots than Maher."

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• - What's this?

Sluggerites and other assorted bloggers are gathering at W5 in Belfast tonight for the Slugger O'Toole awards, hosted by Tim McGarry. Apparently 96% of our MLAs visit the Slugger site "regularly" or "occasionally". A survey by the Stratagem consulting group also found that one or two of the politicians stumble across the "Devenport Diaries" once in a while.They haven't given me the percentage figure.

A blog sitter of mine claims to have tried to nominate me for an award, but insists that half way through the process the computer froze. I think she is trying to make me feel better, although having just watched Kevin Spacey's film on the Florida Bush-Gore "hanging chad" debacle, I am thinking of demanding a "recount".

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She's not following the Dutch example (where a pop singer was recently drafted in to provide maternity cover for an MP). Instead Michelle Gildernew is intending to work from home as much as possible now her third child is due. Today was her last day at Stormont (if the baby had arrived yesterday he or she would have shared Gerry Adams' birthday).

The Agriculture Minister told us on Stormont Live that she would use Loughry College for video conferencing to cut down on her need to travel. And so far as the rush to the hospital is concerned, she is assuming that will be her husband's duty, rather than a job for the ministerial driver.

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The security arrangements at Stormont have improved markedly since the initial introduction of new post-Michael Stone arrangements. But I think there's still room for bit more flexibility. When I arrived at the East Door in the pouring rain this morning, I found the Health Minister, Michael McGimpsey, fuming. He was complaining about the (in his words) "disgraceful" rules which required a group of senior citizens to alight and go through the external search area, but did not allow them to get back on board their bus to complete the short journey to the building. Hence a group of senior citizens had to struggle up the hill in the downpour. It's at times like this that the security staff should be given the discretion to make sensible decisions.

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The Speaker Willie Hay admonished the Social Development Minister Margaret Ritchie today over comments she made in a debate last week on environmental improvements in the Markets. Ms Ritchie used the debate to launch .

Earlier today Mr Hay ruled that Ms Ritchie's language had not been unparliamentary (so there is no danger of her being ejected from the chamber a la Iris Robinson). However he deemed them to be irrelevant to the topic under discussion and not in line with the requirement for "good temper and moderation".

On Stormont Live, I hazarded the opinion that the Speaker was extending his remit as the did not mention the need for "good temper". However Stormont officials tell me Mr Hay was drawing on the parliamentary bible, Erskine May, which states that "good temper and moderation are the characteristics of parliamentary language".

So Ms Ritchie's wrist has been duly slapped, but I think that's where the matter will rest.

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I watched Gordon Brown's reshuffle unfold with even more interest than usual this morning. If the Secretary of State Shaun Woodward had been moved we would have had to go back to the drawing board with tomorrow's Inside Politics. There had been some speculation that Des Browne might keep his Scotland job and get responsibility for Northern Ireland. But in the event Mr Browne left the government altogether.

The fact that Mr Woodward had agreed to record an interview for me at noon gave me some assurance that he was assuming he'd remain at the NIO. So for now there will be no "Department of the Nations and Regions". Tomorrow you can hear Shaun Woodward's views on the reshuffle, whether the British and Irish governments will organise "hot house" talks, and the courtship between the Ulster Unionists and the Tories.

Inside Politics will be broadcast at a quarter to one tomorrow on ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ Radio Ulster.

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Gerry Adams is in the United States, ostensibly telling Americans about the serious nature of the current deadlock. However I suspect that his real purpose is to go shopping for muppet memorabilia.

Apparently he ran in to the President of Sesame Workshop, Gary Knell, at last month's meeting of the Bill Clinton's Global Initiative group in New York. Sesame Workshop make both the legendary Sesame Street and the local version, Sesame Tree.

The SF President told the SW president that Sesame is "huge" here. Then Gerry showed Gary his wrist, on which he proudly sported a Cookie Monster watch. Mr Knell's view was that this was as good as it gets.

Sesame, of course, doesn't just appeal to republicans. When Gary Knell visited the Assembly earlier in the year, the Speaker Willie Hay presented him with an Ian Knox cartoon of 108 muppets outside Stormont.

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Rumour has it that the Metropolitan Police Commissioner, Sir Ian Blair, is on the point of resigning. So is that other policing knight, Sir Hugh Orde, polishing up his CV?

Update at 3.06pm: He has just told my colleague Vincent Kearney "let's wait and see".

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The Irish Ambassador to the UK, David Cooney, could be forgiven for feeling a bit sore after the Tory conference. First he attended a DUP fringe meeting at which Jeffrey Donaldson attacked the Irish Republic's "anti-British sentiment", then he was refused entry to the NI Conservatives' fringe meeting.

It wasn't a deliberate diplomatic snub but the result of trying to pack too many people into too small a room. The ambassador was not alone.Also excuded were the UUP MLAs David Burnside and John McAllister. A letter of apology to the Irish Embassy is in the post, but if I was an NI Tory I wouldn't be looking to transfer my life savings into the Bank of Ireland or the Allied Irish anytime soon.

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The Tory leader's speech is over, complete with its mentions of Ranger Blaine Miller, an RIR soldier serving in Afghanistan (who he said had done an incredible job), and his passion for the union. Interestingly another ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ correspondent who was watching the speech in the company of a group of undecided voters in Salford reported that they apparently hated the bit about the "union". What have the people of Salford got against unionists?

I expect when I touch down at Belfast City that our Executive will have resolved all its problems and I shall be reporting on a comprehensive meeting tomorrow (and some pigs flying over the Craigantlet hills).

As some technicians are threatening to pull the plug on my web connection, I better sign off from Birmingham for now.

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The NI Tories fringe meeting was a sweaty occasion - 60 or so activists packed into the Hyatt hotel's compact Concerto suite. Sir Reg Empey's colourful response to yet more gridlock back at home made the news. It sounded a little incongruous to hear the always polite Employment and Learning Minister accusing his colleagues of "arsing about".

Otherwise the audience generated plenty of enthusiasm for their prospective marriage, although the terms of the engagement continue to be vague. Is it a CDU-CSU type arrangement enabling two parties to share national policies but vary matters regionally? Will we see the formation of a "Conservative and Unionist Council" with UUP MPs taking the Tory whip? If so, what about the absent Lady Sylvia Hermon?

Much was made of the need to appeal to Catholic voters. A a few English Tory activists, including one prospective parliamentary candidate, declared their Catholic roots. But if the Conservatives, campaigning under their own banner, didn't appeal widely to nationalists, why should a deal with the UUP make them any more attractive?

Back in 2003 the Conservatives indicated that if elected to the Assembly they would designate as "other" - a clear attempt to appeal across the boundaries. But it's hard to imagine a Tory-UUP force not designating as "unionist". Otherwise they would come under withering fire from the DUP. They may attempt to argue that a future Conservative government will do away with the designation system altogether. If they do, that will open a whole new can of beans.

P.S. At one point during the meeting, Owen Paterson referred to the avowedly atheistic, secular NI Tory Jeffrey Peel. Jeffrey responded that "Richard Dawkins is behind us". Mr Peelk had shared a platform with the author of the "God Delusion" at another fringe meeting. It was just a throw away comment, but it made me think it would be rather good if the "new political force" could field Professor Dawkins in Strangford. I am not convinced there are many votes in atheism there, but just imagine those debates between "God's Law" and the "God Delusion". It would put Palin versus Biden in the shade.

P.P.S. I have amended the spelling of the "a" word after a comment from Susie Flood. The consensus in the office is that she is correct, although my Collins dictionary provides no definitive guidance. However, it does contain the following note, which I found illuminating.

'Arse: Dating back at least a thousand years, and taboo till around the middle of the 20th century, this venerable "Anglo-Saxon" word now seems unlikely to cause offence in all but the most formal contexts. Its acceptability has possibly been helped by such useful verb formations as "to arse about" and "I can't be arsed" '.

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