Alan now drives a Lexus.
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Programme Three
Michel Lambert, the second-best racing driver in France, was Alan's first guest. He was a bit a of a let-down and not interested in answering Alan's questions, inspired lines of inquiry like 'What's it like racing a car?'. To keep things interesting Alan was given some French smelling salts by Michel and was invited to sniff the stuff through a rolled up tenner.
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Shirley Dee, everyone's favourite showbiz cockney, 52, was Alan's next guest. Unlike Michel Lambert, Shirley would not shut up. Alan seemed less interested in her appearances on Celebrity Squares and more interested in her uncle Dennis, who had famously murdered someone in a barbaric, frenzied attack.
Chris Lester, hostage for two years in Liberia, was Alan's last guest. Alan thanked Chris for being his hostage for the day. Apparently the secret to being a good hostage is keeping mentally active. Alan wanted some funny anecdotes. Chris didn't have any except for a rubbish one about a beetle. Suddenly Alan became very high on 'smelling salts' he'd used and the show had to stop.
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