A Leicestershire grandfather has re-written part of the Bible in the dialect of his county. Graham Kilbourne, aged 64, from Oadby, has produced his own 40 verse version of the Gospels, which describe Jesus鈥 death and resurrection. Mr Kilbourne, who is retired and has three children and seven grandchildren, says he was inspired by his grandfather Harry Herbert. He said: 鈥淭he poem is based on my grandfather's dialect, which was the really old-fashioned way of speaking in Leicester. 鈥淔or example, he used to say 鈥榝rit鈥 instead of 鈥榝rightened鈥.鈥
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The Leicestershire Gospel Mi granddad told mi this story
Bowra bloke called Jesus, yu see
鈥楨 wurrony a nordinry fella,
Summat like you an鈥 me. 鈥楨 wuz born in a stable a鈥 Chris鈥檓as,
God i鈥 musta bin thin,
An鈥 iz mam 鈥榓d 鈥榠m there on the stable floor
Cuz the want no room a鈥 thee inn. Iz dad want nowt special,
A chippy when the wu wook.
Idd weark when 鈥榚 could tu feedum
Burry wu usually down on 鈥榠s luck. Iz mam wuz sor鈥檃 special though,
Prayed a lo鈥, yu know the sor鈥.
Took 鈥榠m to chairch on the sabath,
Med sure e鈥 lairnt wo鈥 鈥榚 or鈥. 鈥楨 lairn tall 鈥榚 cud abough鈥 tistry,
Thee 鈥榓rd time the Jews 鈥榓d 鈥榓d,
An鈥 lairn ta bi鈥 abough鈥 wood wairk,
So鈥檚 鈥榚 cud airn a cruss like 鈥榠s dad. 鈥楨 growed up ta be a good preacher,
Iz mam wuzz ever su chuffed,
Cuzz 鈥榚 want allus an angel,
More un wunce 鈥榚ed 鈥榓d tu bi cuffed. Idd 鈥榓d a chance tu bi rich once,
The devil promised the lo鈥,
Burry telled 鈥榠m tha鈥 want thu righ鈥 way
An med 鈥榠m goo back werritts 鈥榦鈥. 鈥楨 want a poplar fella a鈥 fairse
Cuzz 鈥榚 鈥榓d some funny idears.
鈥楨 reckoned 鈥榦w all uz wuz equal
An鈥 鈥榚lpt tu drive away fears. 鈥楨 go鈥 some ma鈥檈s tu welp 鈥榠m,
A dozen 鈥榚 鈥榓d a鈥 thu star鈥,
An鈥 called um iz twelve disciples
An鈥 taughtum tu preach from the 鈥榓r鈥. A鈥 fairs thu big nob zignore dim,
An鈥 lerrim wander free,
Said ooze gunna believe warree sez,
A thicko from Gallilee. E wannid tu welp thu poor un oppressed,
Thu sick un thu lame un thu blind.
Teached um all abou鈥 thu luv o鈥 God,
鈥極w e鈥 luvved all o鈥 mankind. 鈥楨 wen alluva thu place furra bi鈥,
鈥楨alin鈥 an doin鈥 good鈥
Teachin鈥 thu righ鈥 way tu pray an tha鈥,
An鈥 鈥榚lpin鈥 wherever 鈥榚 cud. I鈥 wuz one orriz ma鈥檈s wha鈥 dun furrim,
Shop tim furra few lousy quid;
Judas thu disciples treashrer,
Kissed 鈥榠m, then ran off an鈥 鈥榠d. 鈥業鈥 wuz thu signal fu thu soldiers tu gerrim鈥
Th鈥 took 鈥檌m off tu be tried;
Bu鈥 Judas dint keep no money,
Cuz 鈥榚 鈥榰ng on a tree an鈥 died. A bloke called Pila鈥檈 tried 鈥榠m
An鈥 sed 鈥榚 cun鈥 find nowt wrong,
Bu鈥 thu priests all sed eed committed a sin
An鈥 ought tu be dead afore long. Blasphemy wuz wha鈥 thu called i鈥,
Sed Jesus wuz claimin鈥 tu be,
God鈥檚 own son the Messiah
Sent to set all of uz free. Pila鈥檈 then sed, 鈥渨ill 鈥榓ve 鈥榠m flogged
Wi鈥 one of aar special whips.
Ones wi鈥 bitsa flintin,
Tu tear 鈥榠s flesh in strips.鈥 Pila鈥檈 thoug鈥 鈥榚 鈥榓d cracked i鈥,
An鈥 the Jews 鈥榓d bin satisfied,
Bu鈥 thu crowd wuz gerrin stroppy
An鈥 wannid 鈥榠m sacrificed. 鈥楨 gorra bi鈥 frit un decided
Thu best thing tu do wu give in,
Then asked furra bowl o鈥 water
Tu wash 鈥榠s 鈥榓nds o鈥 this sin. Thu dressed 鈥榠m in a pairple cloak
An鈥 called 鈥榠m King o鈥 thu Jews.
A crown o鈥 thorns wuz purron iz 鈥榚ad,
Thu crowd wannarf amused. Thu thorns wu several inches long,
Thu rammed it on 鈥榠s 鈥榚ad
Thu spat in 鈥榠z face an鈥 cairsed 鈥榠m
鈥楢n laffed a鈥 thu way 鈥榚 bled. In spite o鈥 this 鈥榚 luvved um
An鈥 鈥榚 knew where 鈥榚 鈥榓d tu goo,
An鈥 鈥榚 asked God , 鈥減lease forgive um,
Cuz thu doon know what thu do.鈥 Thu nailed 鈥榠m to a wooden cross;
Tha鈥 must uv airt annall,
An鈥 鈥榠z poor ol鈥 mam wuz watchin鈥
An鈥 cun鈥 du nowt attall. 鈥楨 died tha鈥 day a鈥 Golgotha,
But just tu mek qui鈥檈 sure,
Thu speared 鈥榠z side an鈥 outa thu wound
Cum water clear鈥檔 pure. Thu took 鈥榠m away tu be buried
An鈥 sealed the tomb weeya rock.
When thu went back nex鈥 mornin鈥
Thu dintaarf gerra shock. Thu tomb wu completely em鈥檛y,
Only 鈥榠s shroud wu left.
Mary thu fairce one tu see i鈥
Jus鈥 stood there an鈥 openly wept. She though鈥 some rogue ud pinched 鈥榠m,
An鈥 asked some bloke standin鈥 by,
If 鈥榚鈥檇 seen anyone tek 鈥榠m,
Though she cun tunderstan鈥檞hy. The bloke jus鈥 sed, 鈥淢ary!鈥,
An鈥 she knew be thu way i鈥 wu said ,
鈥楨r very own Lord an鈥 Master
鈥楢d rizz up from the dead. 鈥溾橝v gorra tell thee uthers,鈥 she said,
An鈥 rushed back tu thu town鈥
鈥淚zz alive , izz alive,鈥 she toldum,
Burrall thu did wu frown. Then all a鈥 once 鈥榚 wuz there
Tu prove them wairds of iz,
Cuz three days after dyin鈥
鈥楨 鈥檃d surely riz. 鈥楨 stayed weeyum furra a bi鈥,
fu forty days in fact
An鈥 teached um 鈥榦w tu preach thu truth
An other things thu lacked. Thu time 鈥榓d cum furrim tu goo
An all uf um wuz sad,
Bu鈥 jesus said i鈥 wurreye time
鈥楨 went back to iz dad. 鈥淲hen av gone,鈥 鈥榚 toldum,
鈥淵u woon鈥檛 av tu wai鈥 long,
Al send thee 鈥極ly Spiri鈥 down
An 鈥楨鈥檒l 鈥榚lp everyone.鈥 An鈥 sure enough, later on,
When thu wu feelin鈥 rough,
Anoise like a howlin鈥 wind cum down
From thu sky above. Tongues o鈥 flame touched um all,
The room rearly shone.
Then thee 鈥極ly Spiri鈥 filled um all,
Each an鈥 every one. Thu started talkin鈥 all a鈥 once,
Each in a different tongue,
An all an鈥 sundry understood
No matter where thu wu from. Thu preached thu Gospel faar an鈥檞ide
An鈥 many souls thee wun,
An鈥 dun a lo鈥 more miracles
Than even Jesus dun. When a think o鈥 Jesus,
Tha鈥 鈥榚 gev 鈥業z life furrall,
鈥楨 paid furraar sin in agony,
Fu mine un yorze anal. 鈥業鈥 meks mi feel like roarin鈥
A feel thu tears release,
Yu see, 鈥榚 did i鈥 cuz 鈥榚 loves us,
Then a feel a sorta peace. Am glad me granddad told mi this,
i鈥 meks mi feel more free,
Cuz 鈥榚 wuz only a nordinry bloke,
Summat like you an鈥 me. | 
