Just paying
a flying visit
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Gore fest for
a Friday night. It's not very good. Indeed the biggest surprise
is how it only got a 15 rating.
Nigel Bell
Why have just
one ghost when you can grab hold of 13 and really go to town on
the make-up.
Thir13en
Ghosts offers few surprises. Even the "jump" scenes
are highly telegraphed. But if you're not expecting anything more
than a B movie you can't really complain.
The plot
Cyrus
Kriticos (Abraham) is a ghost collector but gets
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| What's
that you're cooking Shannon - an American Pie...geddit! |
more than he
bargained for one night when trying to capture a particularly mean
spirit in a car scrapyard.
He leaves his
house to recently widowed nephew Arthur (Shalhoub) and his
family.
Little do they
know this glass house (reinforced you understand) is home to 12
ghosts Uncle Cyrus has collected.
They're safely
locked up in the basement, that is until a ruthless lawyer goes
in search of Cyrus's fortune and ends up releasing them.
The house is
actually a machine designed by the devil (as you'd expect for a
property in the middle of nowhere).
To make everything
work a 13th ghost must be created by someone sacrificing themselves
for others.
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| Meet the
gang coz the boys are here, the boys to entertain you |
So when Arthur's
son and daughter are kidnapped what's the man to do?
The Verdict
First up, here's a lesson to all those Oscar nominees - beware.
Look what happened to F Murray Abraham. Award winner for Amadeus
and now doing this kind of stuff.
Thir13en Ghosts was originally a film by horror specialist
William Castle, who used gimmicks to enhance his movie reputation.
If you went
to see the original you were given glasses in order to witness the
ghouls on the screen.
In the 2002
update the actors wear glasses in order to see the spirits.
It's the cue
for plenty of shocks but also for some rum acting and dicey dialogue
as our heroes take an age to put on their specs then express mock
disbelief as they're splattered by a club wielding apparition.
Steve Beck does
use flash frame to good effect in the sense of creating a "now
you see it, now you don't" ghost image but there's nothing
really new here.
Even the mechanics
of the machine/house are reminiscent of Lara Croft - Tomb Raider.
Fine after a
couple of pints but that's about it.
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