Tying me up
is the only way you'll get me to watch this rubbish
 |
|
Oh dear. A
disaster movie, only it's not supposed to be. The disaster is it
was made in the first place.
Nigel Bell
Chen Kaige,
the Chinese director, would have been better off filming his national
team in the World Cup finals than turning out a movie which is so
bad it's likely to become a cult classic.
The Plot
Heather Graham plays Alice, an American living in London, who's
happily shacked up with a partner.
Then she bumps
into Fiennes, who plays mountaineer Adam Tallis.
 |
| Brooding
looks are about the best you'll get in this film |
Within five
minutes of meeting, she's dumped her boyfriend and got her kit off
for Adam to do some alternative climbing of his own.
Seemingly within
days of their first encounter the couple are wed.
Alice then begins
receiving anonymous letters warning her not to trust Adam.
She does some
detective work and discovers two of his previous girlfriends have
either died or gone missing in mysterious circumstances.
The verdict
Is Adam nasty or not? Who cares? Anyway, you don't need to because
you'll have guessed who the nutter is after the first twenty minutes.
 |
| That's
it - unless I get a better script I'm off |
There really
is nothing positive to say about this film - unless you like the
prospect of seeing Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes in the nude.
That's fair
comment but after an hour of watching them frolicking and being
tied up, even their naked bodies become boring.
That's the only
reason I can see people going to see this film - the titillation
factor.
Otherwise, the
story is lame and see-through, the script atrocious and the acting
not much better.
Standout lines
include "I'll protect you. Say you believe."
"Yes."
It's Unfaithful
meets 91/2 Weeks, only those films were probably better (and
I hated Unfaithful).
The soundtrack
is awful - so predictable. Sweeping violins gush everytime the pair
embrace.
And after each
coupling there's a crude fade out.
Film-making
students go and see this - it's the perfect example of how not
to make a feature film.
|
