成人论坛

1. She was bullied at school

Ekin-Su was born in Islington, to Turkish parents. She had a difficult time at school, largely due to her heritage marking her out as different. “I was [bullied] pretty heavily when I was a kid,” she says. “The way I looked, how I had body hair on me, my background, because I was Turkish. I had a lot of racism going on at the time, just because I wasn’t like everyone else.” She says she always had a yearning to be liked. “I was – still am – a people pleaser.”

Ekin-Su appearing on Radio 1 in 2022 with former partner and fellow Love Island winner Davide Sanclimenti

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Ekin-Su says she 鈥渨asn鈥檛 ready鈥� for a high-profile relationship after leaving Love Island in 2022

2. Love Island came to her in a dream

Ekin-Su’s path to fame started with a night of karaoke singing in a bar. While performing Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You – “with no seriousness” – she was approached by a representative from a music label. “He came up to me after and said, ‘We want you in the studio to record a single.’ I was like, ‘Yeah, right’. I thought it was a scam.” It wasn’t a scam. She was put in a duo with another girl and recorded a song that became a minor hit. She was then offered a role in a Turkish soap opera, which led to her manager suggesting she apply for Love Island. “Then I had a dream,” she says. “I was in the Love Island finals… I remember the host of Love Island going, ‘The winner of Love Island is…’ Then fireworks, and my name. I woke up and the dream felt so real.”

3. A coin toss decided her Love Island fate

Despite the dream, she wasn’t certain she wanted to do the show. “I had an offer from a Turkish producer to do a movie,” she says. “One drunken night with my girls, we flipped this coin. Heads was I go into Love Island. Tails, I was going to do the movie. I flipped it twice and it was heads.” So she applied to Love Island and was cast. And, of course, won, alongside Davide. “I’ve never felt so happy in my life. It was the moment I felt validated by people I liked. I’ve always had trouble being liked and being accepted.” For a time, Love Island gave her that.

4. Her post-Love Island experience made her paranoid

“The more the [social accounts] following went up, the more the pressure went up,” says Ekin-Su. She and Davide remained a couple after the show, although it’s now ended. She says she “wasn’t ready” for a high-profile relationship. “It was an overwhelming whirlwind. If I’d had the mindset I have now, I would have set some boundaries.” She felt constantly expected to perform happiness for the cameras and her social media followers. “It felt fake,” she says. “I wasn’t happy. I thought I was happy. I wasn’t.” As her relationship soured, she began to suspect everyone around her. “You can’t trust anyone,” she says. “You start to lose trust, even in family members… It’s so much pressure.”

5. She rarely felt like herself on reality shows

Rylan asks how Ekin-Su’s people-pleasing nature influenced her behaviour on television. She says, “It was about always pleasing the public. Whatever they want, moulding into it; shape-shifting into what they want.” After Love Island, she was a contestant on Dancing On Ice and The Traitors US. “The only time you’ve truly seen me be myself is probably Love Island and maybe The Traitors. Traitors was very me: quite eerie and dark – buried alive in a coffin.”

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On seeking professional help for her mental health

6. She was “faking it” when she went into Celebrity Big Brother

After Davide and Ekin-Su split, she decided to do Celebrity Big Brother. “I wanted to prove that I am a strong woman on my own after a relationship,” she explains. During the show, she got into a number of disagreements with other housemates and was accused of being fake. She says, in retrospect that was correct. “I was faking it in there. It wasn’t me. People are right. I wasn’t myself because I was lying to everyone about how I actually felt. I look back now and I wish I just didn’t do it, or owned up to the things I said.”

7. The reaction to Celebrity Big Brother felt like bullying

When Ekin-Su left the Big Brother house, she was booed by the crowd, which took her by surprise. “It just went back to my childhood,” she says. “Every bully was in that audience, it felt like. Cheering it on because I left. It felt like I failed, like I may be worth the bullying.” She found the days following eviction very hard. “The reaction was like I’d killed someone,” she says. She found the negativity and trolling hugely upsetting. “I’m not perfect. And I just didn’t want to be around anymore.”

8. She feels damaged by her reality TV experience

After Big Brother, Ekin-Su sought professional help for her mental health. “I’m owning it, I’m damaged from the whole experience of coming out [of Celebrity Big Brother]; of my relationship going wrong, of not looking after myself, going from one reality TV show to another, not putting myself first. But I’m on a road where I’m fixing the damage. It’s going to take ownership. It’s going to take recovery.”

9. She no longer feels a constant need for validation

Having said she’s always felt a need to be liked, Ekin-Su says she’s reached a point where that’s no longer the case. “I feel good. I don’t need validation from someone. I don’t need to prove to people that I have friends… I’m just being appreciative and not being so negative.” She says, “I don’t love myself fully yet”, but she’s working on it.

Details of help and support is available at www.bbc.co.uk/actionline