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If 50% of marriages end in divorce, an optimist would say, well great, that means 50% of marriages work. A pessimist would say the other 50% just haven't got round to divorcing yet. follows three couples who are, at least, still not divorced. Writer and star Jack Docherty reveals the three types of couple who endure.

The pessimist and the optimist

“I married him!”, “I married him?”, “I married him?”, is a common journey. Marriage is often a downhill road, starting at Excitement, detouring via Resignation, ending at Despair. That's certainly been Barney and Cathy's route.

Marriage is often a downhill road, starting at Excitement, detouring via Resignation, ending at Despair."

Barney believes the grass is always greener and for “grass” read “other man’s wife” and for “greener” read “younger and prettier”. Barney is a duplicitous, disloyal, moral coward. And that's just his good points. Like many pessimists he had the great fortune to marry an optimist and Cathy's determination to make the best of things and largely ignore the fact she married an idiot, means that their marriage endures. That, and the fact that underneath it all, they actually love each other. If they only realised.

The warring lovers

Then there are couples who like a combative life, with fighting and endless vicious banter and lots of sex. These couples often get married because it's preferable to joining the army - you get all of the above but you don't have to get up first thing in the morning. This is Evan and Fiona.

They can argue about anything: the softest fruit; the sharpest pin; the smallest giant. The secret of any successful marriage is to really listen to the other person, but for Evan and Fiona, the last words either of them actually heard the other say were "I do", and since then it's been a constant over-lapping, cross-talking, shouting match, punctuated by the rhythm of slamming doors.

Only sex stops them arguing. Although not always. There's the small matter of the best position...

The senior partner

But Barney and Cathy and Evan and Fiona are Romeo and Juliet compared to David and Alice.

There are couples who like a combative life, with fighting and endless vicious banter and lots of sex."

Alice wanted security, a bright future, a safe bet. She could just have invested in government bonds, but instead she married David. Nine-hundred and ninety-nine times out of a thousand, when asked the question, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" she would have replied, "Are you s****ing me?!?" But she was wearing a very expensive dress and all her friends and family were there and her sister had personally stencilled the place settings and it just seemed easier to say, "I do". After all, he was 30 years her senior, maybe a bit of vigorous dancing at the reception would finish him off.

For his part, David adores Alice. She's perfection made flesh, the ideal woman, the most wondrous person he's ever known. She's everything he ever dreamed of, and marrying her has made him… utterly miserable. Because she might leave him. What’s more, she might leave him for anyone. He doesn't just have to worry about the young, good-looking guys - it's every man in the world. Even the shuffling ghouls outside the care home. After all, she's got previous: him.

Start/Stop is a comedy about three couples sailing off into the sunset. And sinking.