³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

In a certain seasonal TV advertisement recently released, various members of the wildlife community are seen enjoying a vigorous session of ‘trampolining’.

1) Badgers have powerful forearms for the purposes of digging. To make the most of a trampoline, you really need powerful legs.

2) Badgers mainly feast on earthworms, which are rarely found on trampolines.

3) Trampoline derives from the Spanish word ‘El trampolino' meaning ‘diving board’. The Spanish for badger is ‘tejón’ meaning ‘badger’.

4) The name ‘badger’ is derived from the French word ‘bêcheur’ meaning ‘digger’. The French word for ‘trampoline’ is ‘trampoline’.

5) Though some believe the badger’s name comes from the badge-like white mark on its forehead. Any white marks on a trampoline are probably caused by birds and should be avoided.

6) Badgers have been present in the British Isles for hundreds of thousands of years. Trampolines are a fairly recent invention.

7) The first ever trampolines were fashioned by the Inuit using walrus skins. Badgers and walruses famously don’t get along.

8) Badgers do not hibernate while trampolines are often stored indoors during winter months perhaps in a shed or garage.

9) Ancient folklore states that badgers can be a harbinger of bad news. Whereas many people rub trampolines for good fortune or wear small ‘lucky’ trampolines around their necks.

10) Badgers don’t like heights... obviously!

11) Famous trampoliners include: Gwyneth Paltrow, Beyonce and Madonna. None of them are badgers.

12) ‘Badger’ is not an anagram of ‘trampoline’. You’re thinking of ‘Rampoltine’. A type of Dormouse.

13) Badger hair is traditionally used to manufacture shaving bristles. Trampolines and shaving should never mix.

14) The scientific name for a badger is meles meles. If you started barking the words ‘meles meles’ at a trampoline attendant, they would probably be confused have little idea what you meant.

15) A male badger is called a boar, while a female is a sow. Trampolines are essentially sexless.

16) William Blake’s poem Badger Badger Burning Bright contains no references to trampolines. Or badgers. It’s about tigers.

17) There are nineteen references to badgers in the Bible, whereas trampolines are only mentioned twice.

18) Badgers are mainly nocturnal while the practice of ‘night trampolining’ is a euphemism for something unsavoury.

19) Badgers have poor eyesight but a keen sense of smell - both things will hinder successful trampoline use.

20) To badger someone means to harass or annoy them. To trampoline someone means to ‘make them go on a trampoline’.

21) Trampolines are a great way to break limbs. For a badger to achieve the same thing you would need to drop a stuffed one onto someone from a considerable height.

22) An old belief claims that a biting badger wouldn’t release its grip until ‘its teeth meet’. In the same way, a trampoline’s job is not done until a child is sobbing.

23) In traditional Japanese folklore, Badgers are thought to be wild and mischievous - exactly the sort of creature you would never want on a trampoline.

24) Badgers live underground where trampolining is dangerous.

25) Trampolines are held in place by around 100 springs. Badgers have a deathly fear of springs going back for years.

26) The character of Tommy Brock appears in the animal stories of Beatrix Potter. The author’s ‘The Tale of Timmy Trampoline’ was the only book of hers never to be published due to all the swearing.

27) Julian Cope released a hit single called Trampoline in 1987. Badgers failed to feature in the lyrics or the accompanying video.