成人论坛

2.1 鈥� REGRETS

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FX: 成人论坛 Sounds Sting

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ANNO听听听听听听听听听听 You鈥檙e about to listen to series two of Doctor Who: Redacted. New episodes will be released weekly, wherever you get your podcasts. But if you鈥檙e in the UK, you can listen to the full series right now, first, on 成人论坛 Sounds.

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Inquistive, investigative sounding bongs underneath the title reading and continuing into the first scene.

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听听听听听听听听听听 ANNO听听听听听听听听 Doctor Who: Redacted. Episode One, Regrets. By Juno Dawson.

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Scene 1.1

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FX: Car door slams, footsteps and scuffling.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Excuse me? CLEO听听听 Mr Degsy?

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听 We鈥檙e in Northampton investigating claims that a meat processing plant is serving something a bit more exotic than bacon. Mr Desgy-

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SHAWNA听听听听听 What is in your sausages? DEGSY听听听听听听听听听 No comment.

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听 We鈥檙e the Blue Box Files podcast. Mr Degsy, do your sausages contain extra-terrestrial DNA?

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DEGSY听听听听听听听听 Rubbish.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听 We鈥檝e had your products tested, Mr Degsy, and they contain genetic matter unlike anything else on earth.

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DEGSY听听听听听听听听 No comment.

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SHAWNA听听听听听 People have a right to know! DEGSY听听听听听听听 If you touch me, I鈥檒l call the police.

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听 Do you turn aliens into burgers, Mr Degsy? DEGSY This is private property! Go away!

SHAWNA听听听听听 We know the Blue Box was here last year!

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Pause. Tense.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听 Have you seen her? Have you met the Doctor?

Scene 1.2 鈥� INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. DAY

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FX: There鈥檚 applause and a hub-bub of chatter at the National Podcast

Convention in Manchester. There鈥檚 a wail of feedback and the panel event gets underway.

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WILDTRACK听听听听听 [generic excited podcast attendees]

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 OK then! That clip could only be from our final guests of the afternoon. I鈥檓 Rani Chandra from Rani Takes On The World and I鈥檓 very pleased to be joined by the hosts of the brilliant Blue Box Files - Abby MacPhail, Shawna Thompson and Cleo Proctor!

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FX: Applause

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Abby, let鈥檚 start with you.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Can I just say I鈥檓 a huge fan? Your episode on the Panama Papers was鈥�chef鈥檚 kiss.

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 You absolutely can. (SMILES) But let鈥檚 talk about The Blue Box Files. Introduce us to it.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Basically, it鈥檚 dedicated to uncovering the truth about an enigmatic cuboid shape which seems to appear at times of historical upheaval. Pompeii, it鈥檚 there; Titanic, it鈥檚 there. You name it, there鈥檚 sightings of a strange blue box. We even think what Scientists are calling the Redacted Virus is related. So many people suffered blackouts. Including us.

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Me too. Last year is a blur, to be honest. Now, Shawna, you鈥檙e the in-house sceptic, is that right?

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 That鈥檚 maybe a bit reductive, but OK. I鈥檝e become less sceptical as the years have gone on, but I鈥檓 inclined to believe there is a conspiracy, it鈥檚 just not from outer space. At the moment, Abby and I are looking into this organisation called 鈥楾orchwood鈥�; super secretive, super shady鈥�but not alien.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Well, I do think it鈥檚 alien actually. There, I said it.

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Oh really? What do you think this Blue Box is?

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Cleo pauses.

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Cleo?

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I think鈥�I think, I think the blue box is our guardian angel.

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The tone on the panel changes.

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WILDTRACK听听听听听 [quiet uncertainty] ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Cleo鈥�

RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Let鈥檚 go with that. How do you mean?

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I think 鈥� like if there鈥檚 a blue box 鈥� it makes sense that there鈥檚 someone inside it you know. Keeping us all safe. They鈥檙e called The Doctor.

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The audience chatter increases. Rani clears her throat.

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Right, OK. (NERVOUS) Maybe we should move on.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 No, I鈥檓 for real. Would you believe me if I said she, or he actually, is a chic time traveller with two hearts and undiagnosed ADHD?

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 [laughs] WILDTRACK听听听听听听听听听听听听 [laughter]

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Cleo is the comic relief, obviously.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (ANGRY) Thanks Shawna Thompson, but I also happen to know. Just because you girls don鈥檛 remember what happened last year, I do. And anyway, I鈥檝e been researching my own case. Giant rats. In Docklands.

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Another awkward silence.

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WILDTRACK听听听听听 [throat clearing]

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RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 OK, well this is weirdly tense. Let鈥檚 move it along. So! I was listening to your episode about killer shop dummies鈥�

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Fade out.

Scene 1.3 INT. GREENROOM.

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FX: Abby, Shawna and Cleo enjoy catering backstage. Light background chatter with low music.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 sorry I derailed the panel, OK! But it鈥檚 true! I remember the Doctor, I can鈥檛 help it. I do!

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Another awkward moment.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 OK鈥�

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Sorry Cleo. It鈥檚 just鈥�hard to remember stuff we don鈥檛 remember. But we believe you, we do!

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 You actually met her.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Yeah yeah, we believe you, we do!

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Really? Because it doesn鈥檛 sound like it.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 I think Rani provoked you deliberately to make you look unhinged. She鈥檚 jealous of the competition.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I think there鈥檚 room for more than one podcast about uncanny investigators out there. I thought she was super nice.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Not nice enough to hang around in the green room with the hoi polloi.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 But guys, I think she remembered the Doctor! Didn鈥檛 you see her face when I said their name -

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 And she did say, any time we needed a hand, to just get in touch.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 (OVER) Ooh Abz, that falafel wrap thing is stunning. Have you had a bit?

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 No no, is there any left?

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (under breath) End of discussion, I guess. SHAWNA听听听 Have a bit of mine.

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FX: Falafel broken off

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Here you go (mild effort).

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (eating) Oh my gosh, that鈥檚 divine!

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There鈥檚 a pause.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 What?

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 You two are sickening, you know that?

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Sorry are we doing it again? I鈥檒l put a pound in the jar.

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Sorry, sorry sorry sorry!

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 kidding, I鈥檓 kidding! It鈥檚 sweet. Young hearts, run free and all that. But, you know, Shawna maybe you could speed up the process by chewing it and spitting it directly into her mouth like a bird would.

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FX: Shawna hurls a cushion across the greenroom.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 (effort) Shut up!

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I don鈥檛 know what鈥檚 happened to me. I鈥檓 sure I used to be cynical and bitter.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (sarcastic) And we all really miss that.

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FX: Abby鈥檚 text alert sounds and she taps out a reply.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Is your mum OK?

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Er aye 鈥� that鈥檚 just the new carer now. All is well.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 And now you get to have your own place. SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听 Exactly!

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Shackin鈥� up! That鈥檚 fast even by lesbian standards.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Ah ah excuse me!

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Bi! Sorry! I know, don鈥檛 kill me! (PAUSE) Get a flat with a spare room. A Cleo annex I can retire to before I die alone.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 (laughs)

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Aw. You will meet someone.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Abs, the last guy I dated literally faked his own death to get out of a second date.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Oh. Wow. Bold move.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Anyway, as if I have time to date. Between my course and this case, I have zero time.

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There鈥檚 a significant pause.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Is this the rats thing?

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Yes. There was another attack yesterday 鈥� look.

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FX: She gives them her phone.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 (reading) 鈥楾hird London Rat Attack 鈥� Family Dog Killed鈥�. Man, that鈥檚 grim.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Watch this video鈥�

Scene 1.4 鈥� EXT. GARDEN

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FX: We hear a news report play. Little musical sting like the 成人论坛 news app.

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ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 I was on a work Zoom when suddenly Benj starts barking and barking, and that鈥檚 not like him at all. I ignored it for as long as a I could but鈥�but then he stopped. I went out into the garden and that鈥檚, that鈥檚 when I found him.

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ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 He鈥檇 been mauled. Ripped to shreds. (TEARFUL PAUSE) I saw this long, thick tail vanish under the fence. It was a rat. I swear. I know what I saw.

Scene 1.5 鈥� INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. DAY

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FX: We return to Cleo, Abby and Shawna. Cleo stops the video.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 See? So when are you coming to London? We need to get involved. If there鈥檚 trouble, it鈥檚 only a matter of time before the Doctor shows up.

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Another loaded pause.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 What makes you think it鈥檚 a Blue Box File? CLEO听 Hello? Killer rats?

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 No offence, but London is a very ratty city.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 She described it as half-rat-half-gremlin. SHAWNA听听听听听听 (laughs) Sorry鈥�but come on!

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I can鈥檛 believe, after everything we鈥檝e been through, that I鈥檓 getting the Scully treatment. Rude.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Do you think maybe a part of you wants it to be the Blue Box?

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There鈥檚 a pause.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 No. Maybe. (Pause) Yeah. I guess. It鈥檚 different for you guys. You don鈥檛 remember everything that happened last year but I do. I鈥�I miss her.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Miss who?

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Another pause.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Doesn鈥檛 matter. FX: Cleo gets an alert on her phone.

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CLEO

Oh my god!

SHAWNA

What is it?

ABBY

Is it about the case?

CLEO

What? No! I got a message from a guy.

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Scene 1.6 鈥� INT. TRAIN / EUSTON STATION. NIGHT

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FX: Train door bings open onto bustling Euston station 鈥� passengers and wheelie luggage.

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TRAIN VOICE听听听 Welcome to London Euston. This is our final destination. Please take all your belongings when you leave the train.

Scene 1.7 INT. BAR. NIGHT

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FX: Crowded noisy bar. Music. Glasses. Voices. Laughter. Ed sets two wine glasses down on a table.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Thanks for this. I needed a drink. Cheers. I鈥檓 so glad you messaged.

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ED听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Cheers.

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FX: They clink.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 So, Ed. Ed Hinge. Tell me about yourself. What do you do? ED听听听听听听听听 Um, yeah. So like I said, I鈥檓 in IT.

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 My friend Shawna is too. No idea what that means, I just nod along.

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ED听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Yeah, it鈥檚 pretty dull to tell you the鈥�

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He drifts off, looking around.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Are you OK?

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ED听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Yeah, yeah. I鈥檓 fine. So what about you? What do you do?

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Well I do a couple of shifts as an usher, but I鈥檓 actually at theatre school. I鈥檓 an actress鈥�

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ED听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 What, sorry?

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 An actress. (Beat) Are you sure you鈥檙e OK? You鈥檙e acting like you got MI5 watching you or something? You being followed?

ED听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 No! No, it鈥檚 just that I, um, I鈥檝e never actually, you know鈥� CLEO听听听听 (deflating) Oh I get it. Don鈥檛 wanna be seen in public with a

trans woman.

ED听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 It鈥檚 not that! I just, like, you know I鈥檓 straight and this is a big deal for me鈥�

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 You know what, Ed, I can make this so easy for us both. (she downs her pinot in one gulp)

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FX: Cleo puts the wine glass down, pushes back stool, stands.

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Boy, bye.

Scene 1.8 INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE. NIGHT

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FX: Train atmos

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TRAIN VOICE听听听 The next station stop will be Carlisle. Please take all your belongings with you when you leave.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Is there another gin in a tin? ABBY听听听 Aye.

FX: She hands her a tin.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Do you think we ought to, you know, tone it down a bit around Cleo? I don鈥檛 want her to feel like a third wheel.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 She said she was fine. (Beat) It鈥檚 not our fault that love radiates from us, is it?

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Ha! Yes, that鈥檚 cute, but I don鈥檛 want her to get radiation sickness.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 That鈥檇 explain the rat hunt.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Don鈥檛. I feel bad, I do, but it鈥檚 just not a Blue Box File. There鈥檚 no evidence linking it to us. We鈥檙e better off focusing on Torchwood. I think it鈥檚 got legs.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 So what do we know so far?

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 so glad you asked, Ms Thompson.

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FX: She taps away on a laptop.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Oh god. There鈥檚 a doc on the shared drive.

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Of course there鈥檚 a doc on the shared drive. Look.

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Pause as Shawna reads.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 OK. Torchwood. Fill me in.

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FX: Torchwood music sting!

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ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Okay. All through blue box cases, there鈥檚 this one word that keeps coming up time and again, and it鈥檚 not 鈥淒octor鈥�. It鈥檚 Torchwood. I know because I set up an Alert.

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SHAWNA

How many of those do you have set up now?

ABBY

I keep it to a sensible hundred.

SHAWNA

Torchwood like driftwood?

ABBY

No! It鈥檚 a place. A big old house in Aberdeenshire, AND they had a break in last night. There was a local news report which then promptly vanished鈥�

SHAWNA

Shady.

ABBY

Might be really interesting to check it out, don鈥檛 you think?

SHAWNA

Oh, Abby, no鈥�

ABBY

You鈥檝e got the day off tomorrow!

SHAWNA

础产蝉鈥�

ABBY

It鈥檚 only a three-hour drive!

SHAWNA

Only?! (Beat) It鈥檚 a good job I love you isn鈥檛 it?

Scene 1.9 鈥� INT. CLEO FLAT. NIGHT

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FX: We hear keys and the door close as Cleo arrives home. Quiet London streets beyond.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hi honey, I鈥檓 home! (Beat) Oh I forgot; I live by myself. Alexa!

Play depressing music.

听

FX: Some mournful music begins and Cleo flops down on the sofa and kicks her shoes off. After a moment, she picks up her phone and begins a voicenote.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hi Doctor. Me again. I know you gave me this number For Redacted Virus Emergencies Only but I鈥檝e tried everything else and I鈥檓 getting worried 鈥� are you okay? Anyway. Just got back from a first date. You don鈥檛 need to buy a hat, look at it that way. (SIGHS)

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Jordan and Floater are still off finding themselves in Bali so I鈥檝e got the flat to myself for another month. It鈥檚 nice. Bit quiet. It鈥檚 weird. (Beat) I have a big day at college tomorrow.

Audition for our end-of-year showcase. Gotta do a Shakespeare monologue. Have you met Shakespeare? What was he like? Bet he was well clever. Did he have a mullet? (ANOTHER LONG SIGH)

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Anyway. Let me know if you鈥檙e getting these little messages in bottles. You gotta get here. Giant rats! Giant mutant rats! If Abby and Shawna don鈥檛 believe me, I need your help.

Scene 1.10 鈥� INT. THEATRE. DAY

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FX: Echoing space. Theatre ambience.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (taking this seriously) 鈥淏ut man, proud man, dressed in a little brief authority, most ignorant of what he's most assured, his glassy essence, like an angry ape - 鈥�

听

OLIVIA听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 That鈥檚 great. Can I stop you there, Cleo?

听

FX: There鈥檚 some polite applause from her classmates.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Can I finish the monologue?

听

OLIVIA听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 It鈥檚 OK, I鈥檝e heard enough. That was good. Really good.

Um. I鈥檓 not sure I see you as Isabella myself.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 No?

听

OLIVIA听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓, um, not sure it鈥檚 playing to your strengths. You鈥檙e so good at the lighter stuff, Cleo. Don鈥檛 worry, Shakespeare has plenty of comedy roles, we鈥檒l find you a match for the showcase.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Thanks. (Beat) Can I ask why not Isabella? OLIVIA Isabella is a nun, for one thing.

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 What?

听

OLIVIA听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 She鈥檚 also the object of Angelo鈥檚 obsessive lust. She has to be sweet, perfect and virtuous.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (dejected) OK. Got it. I鈥檒l think of something else.

Scene 1.11 EXT. LONDON PARK. DAY

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FX: We hear pigeons, children playing etc. Cleo is on the phone to Shawna.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Urgh I hate her. Getting strong Adult Human Female vibes if you catch my drift.

听

SHAWNA (D)听听听听 Really? That sucks.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 She might as well have just said 鈥榓udition for King Lear or some other hairy man鈥� or what鈥檚 the one with the donkey on his head?

听

SHAWNA (D)听听听听 That鈥檚 a question for my girlfriend I鈥檓 afraid. CLEO Maybe I should quit.

SHAWNA (D)听听听听 Cleo no! You worked so hard to get on the course.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I know, but what鈥檚 the point? Even if I defy the odds and graduate, I鈥檓 like a gazillion pounds in debt and then there鈥檚 no trans roles to play. Unless Caitlyn: The Musical is secretly on its way.

听

SHAWNA (D)听听听听 (Laughs) Now that I鈥檇 see.

听

FX: We hear some branches snap.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Ow!

听

SHAWNA (D)听听听听 Cleo, what are you doing?

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 in the park, looking for mutant rats? SHAWNA (D) I beg your pardon?

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I attract rats all the time, how hard can it be? [beat] I鈥檝e put down a bit of rat bait, and now I鈥檓 waiting. But a pigeon keeps eating my bait. Get lost you feathery little 鈥�

听

SHAWNA (D)听听听听 Cleo, are you OK?

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 What? Yeah, of course I am. And maybe the Doctor will show up. I鈥檝e been messaging her.

听

SHAWNA (D)听听听听 Eh? What?

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 She said to keep in touch. So I did.

听

Silence.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听 Shawna? SHAWNA (D) 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 here.

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 You don鈥檛 believe me do you? SHAWNA (D)听听听听听听听 It鈥檚 not that鈥�

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Well when I have proof about these rats, maybe you鈥檒l believe me then. It鈥檚 just a matter of patience. They鈥檒l show up.

听

SHAWNA (D)听听听听 The Doctor or the rats?

Scene 1.12 鈥� INT. CAR. DAY

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FX: Traffic noises. We join Abby and Shawna en route to Aberdeen

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Cleo, just be careful. If you鈥檙e all alone in a park in London, it鈥檚 not rats you should be looking out for.

听

CLEO (D)听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 on it. I should be quiet really, I鈥檓 scaring the rats away. But enjoy scoping out wedding venues. Don鈥檛 think I don鈥檛 know what you鈥檙e up to.

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 We鈥檙e not! Right stay safe. Ok bye, bye!

听

FX: Shawna ends the call.

听

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 (whines) Are we nearly there yet? I need a wee. ABBY听听 Just twenty minutes

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 OK. Holdable. (Beat) She鈥檚 not letting this 鈥楧octor鈥� thing drop, is she?

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I don鈥檛 know what to say anymore.

听

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Maybe she鈥檚 right. I remember so little of what happened last year, maybe we really did meet this Doctor woman and just forgot it. You think?

听

Abby struggles to accept Cleo鈥檚 version of events.

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Oh, I just don鈥檛 know, Shawna. Maybe all the answers are in Torchwood House.

听

听

Scene 1.13 鈥� INT. CLEO HOME. NIGHT

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FX: Tired, Cleo settles in on sofa and starts recording.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hello Blue Boxers, this is Cleo Proctor 鈥� the solo album years.

听(Beat) Abby and Shawna are too busy picking out shades of Farrow & Ball to join me right now.

听

Pause.

听

Whatever these rats are, they weren鈥檛 feeling my tin of cat food. I dread to think what people thought I was doing in that hedge, but we move. I鈥檓 going full Abby research mode. I can do this all by myself if I need to.

听

FX: She gets out her laptop and types away.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 OK, the news story says the woman who lost her dog is called Esther Daley and it says she鈥檚 on the Isle of Dogs鈥�which is unfortunate given what happened to her dog.

听

FX: More typing.听听听

听

Esther Daley, lives in London鈥�let鈥檚 see. Yep, that鈥檚 her. Right then. I guess we slide into the old DMs鈥�

Scene 1.14鈥� EXT. TORCHWOOD ESTATE. DAY

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FX: Rural nature vibes. Footsteps crunch through gravel as Abby and Shawna arrive at the estate last seen in Tooth and Claw.

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 Oh wow. It鈥檚 so pretty. (Beat) Do they do weddings? ABBY They do! But get that idea out of your head. Torchwood

has quite the history. Queen Victoria once stayed here, you know?

听

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 I did not know. Can we go inside?

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Aye. Open To The Public. This way I think.

听

FX: They head inside.

Scene 1.15 鈥� INT. TORCHWOOD HOUSE. DAY

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FX: Grandfather clock ticking. Fusty mansion vibes. Abby and Shawna make their way through the house.

听

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 (Hushed) It鈥檚 giving haunted house. ABBY听听听听听 I would not want to spend the night here.

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 (from afar) In case the werewolves gobble you up? SHAWNA/ ABBY (gasp)

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 Sorry to give yous a fright. Couldn鈥檛 resist. I鈥檓 Morag Stewart.

Curator.

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Werewolves?

听

FX: MORAG descends stairs to join them in the foyer.

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 Aye that鈥檚 the story. Did you not see our episode of Most Haunted?

听

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 No.

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 We鈥檝e come about the break-in?

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檝e got the CCTV for you.

听

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 You have?

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 sorry. Are yous not the police? SHAWNA听听听听听听听听 (ABJECT HORROR) No!

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Um no.

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 Oh I see. (FROWNS) Did Archie send you from 鈥淭he Institute鈥�?

听

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 N -

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Aye. Aye he did.

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 About time! I鈥檝e been calling and calling him! No answer! I鈥檝e had to close the tea room. Nightmare. I鈥檝e spent all day today trying to work out if anything was taken. So strange. A house full of priceless antiques and they tried to get into the cellars of all places.

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 The cellar?

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 Exactly! Yous lot cleared everything out years back so I don鈥檛 know what they were looking for.

听

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听 So there was something worth stealing in the basement? MORAG I thought you said you were from the Institute?

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Ms Stewart鈥�

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 Och just Morag, please.

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 What鈥檚 the Torchwood Institute? I鈥檓 sorry. I don鈥檛 want to lie.

We鈥檙e from a podcast investigating Torchwood.

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 (Hesitant) I wouldn鈥檛 know anything about it. SHAWNA听听听 Wow, even I lie better than that.

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 I wouldn鈥檛 go asking too many questions about Torchwood if I were you. I鈥檓 just from the National Trust for Scotland. I make tea and scones, deary, I swear on my mother鈥檚 grave.

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 OK. We know this house was private until 2007. What was it before that? I heard it was some sort of an archive facility鈥�an archive of what exactly?

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 (PAUSE) Look. Any house this old is going to have some bloodstains under the rugs, know what I mean? (Sighs) You didn鈥檛 hear this from me, OK?

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Ok of course.

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 You need to speak to an old fella called Archie Bell. That is, if you can get hold of him. I assumed he鈥檇 sent you.

听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 OK. And where鈥檚 he?

听

MORAG听听听听听听听听听听听听 Glasgow city centre, about three hours鈥� drive from here. SHAWNA You have got to be kidding.

Scene 1.16 鈥� INT. CLEO BEDROOM. NIGHT

听

FX: Cleo records a voice message. Rustle of sheets.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 听 Me again. It鈥檚 just gone 1 am and I can鈥檛 sleep.

My leg is doing that twitching thing.

听

She pauses.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Doctor, I don鈥檛 know where to start. I keep hitting these dead ends and I know that you鈥檙e all up in space and time and whatever, but if any of you happen to be in 2023, we need your help. There鈥檚 these rats that don鈥檛 look right, and I think the Prime Minister could be a cyborg and鈥�you know what? I need you.

听

She takes a breath.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I know! I know you told me to stay here and sort my life out, but I don鈥檛 wanna be here anymore. It鈥檚 not fair. No-one else remembers what happened but me. What am I meant to do with that knowledge? After all that, how am I supposed to go to college, and go on dates with absolute wastemen, and eat vegan sausage rolls, and bingewatch every night? There鈥檚 a whole universe to explore, and I鈥檓 stuck on these three or four streets. You could鈥�you could take me away from all this.

听

FX 鈥� A crackle of weird static. A man鈥檚 garbled voice can be heard 鈥� very briefly. Do we hear the phrase 鈥楥leo Proctor?鈥�

听

MAN/APEX听听听听听听听听 Cleo Proctor!

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Doctor? Doctor is that you?

听

听

FX: Cleo jabs some buttons on her phone.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 听 Stupid thing! Was that you? OK. Doctor, if you can hear this, tomorrow I鈥檓 going in search of the rats. London Docklands. Meet me there. Don鈥檛 let me down. C鈥檓on. Send me a sign!

听

FX: Cleo鈥檚 phone rings

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Doctor! Finally!

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听 Hello, is that Cleo Proctor? I got your message

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Doctor?!?

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听 My name鈥檚 Esther. You messaged. About the giant rats.

听

听

Scene 1.17 EXT. ESTHER鈥橲 HOUSE. DAY

听

FX: Flight from London City overhead. Patio door slides open and Esther brings Cleo a mug of tea to the garden.

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 Oat milk and two sugars.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Thank you. And thanks again for fitting me in. ESTHER听 That鈥檚 OK. What did you say this was for again?

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Blue Box Files. We鈥檙e actually legit now. Half a mil listeners and everything. Turns out there鈥檚 a lot of really paranoid people out there. Can鈥檛 say I blame them.

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 And you look into鈥�weird stuff?

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 The weirder the better. Oh 鈥� sorry, I didn鈥檛 mean. (Pause) I鈥檓 so sorry about your dog. It sounds pure horrific.

听

Esther is understandably very sad.

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 He was my first dog, just a puppy when I got him. Eight years. He was my best friend.Yeah. And no-one seems to care. A rat the size of a child and no-one gives two hoots.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Well I care. (Beat) Can you show me where you saw it? ESTHER听听听听听听听听听 Sure, just at the bottom of the garden.

FX: The pair travel over the lawn and into the thicket.

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 It was just here.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 OK, and what happened after you saw it?

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 There was just one of them. I know it sounds mad, but it was upright, on its hind legs. It was wet and pink and covered in patchy grey fur. Huge, sharp teeth, yellow eyes. Hideous.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Jesus鈥�

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 I only saw it for a split second and then it darted away.

听

Cleo takes all this in.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 What do you think it was?

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 It was a rat! Just a rat unlike anything I鈥檝e ever seen. Its tail was like a snake.

听

FX: Cleo pushes further into the undergrowth.

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 It ran into that hole in the fence. CLEO What鈥檚 on the other side?

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 A wasteland really. It鈥檚 all derelict. You know Docklands was pretty much a dump until the 1990s. It used to be a port, but was in ruins for decades. Anything could have been growing here, living in the filth.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 What, with all the bankers in Canary Wharf? Sounds about right.

听

FX: She crouches to see if she can fit in the gap.

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 What are you doing?

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 gonna go have a look around. See what I can see. It鈥檚 what the Doctor would do.

听

ESTHER听听听听听听听听听听听 Who?

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Never mind. Listen; can I borrow this little garden fork thing?

Scene 1.18 鈥� EXT. DOCKLAND. DAY

听

FX: Cleo crawls through the fence and finds herself on a wasteland. She stumbles to her feet. She starts a voice note.

听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hello this is Cleo Proctor from the Blue Box Files. OK, I鈥檓 presently on wasteland in London Docklands in search of the mutant rats terrorising the capital.

听

FX: She pushes through shrubland.

听

I dunno if the police searched around here, but it stinks and it鈥檚 covered in junk. It鈥檚 basically a flytipping junkyard. If I was a giant rat, I鈥檇 choose this place too. There鈥檚, like, an old boatyard or something鈥�

听

FX: Cleo freezes. We hear a squeaking, a scuttering of little paws before a bit of corrugated iron clatters over.

听

OK, did you hear that? I don鈥檛 think I鈥檓 alone. Something just knocked some fencing over. (Beat) Doctor, if you鈥檙e up there, I鈥檇 really like to hear that weird TARDIS noise any second now鈥�

听

FX: Instead, there鈥檚 a louder squeak and Cleo jumps.

听

(exclamation!) That was closer that time. I hope my phone picked that up. It鈥檚 just a rat. What鈥檚 the worst it can do?

Rabies, plague, mauling, fair point.

听

Everything seems quiet.

听

I鈥檓 gonna check out the boathouse and then I鈥檓 out of here.

Scene 1.19 INT. BOATHOUSE. DAY

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FX: We hear a banging as Cleo kicks in a boarded-up window. It clatters open.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Urgh! Well that reeks.

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FX: She slides through the narrow window on her tummy.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hmph! Ow!

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FX: She struggles to her feet.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (calls out) Hello? Anybody home?

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FX: There鈥檚 no reply. She starts her voicenote again.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 inside the boathouse now. It鈥檚 like a workshop or something, but totally abandoned. I don鈥檛 think anyone鈥檚 been here for years.

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FX: She wanders the hall. Footsteps echo. A pigeon in the rafters.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Nothing to see here. Wild goose chase. Wild rat -

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FX: There鈥檚 a wooden groan as the trapdoor she鈥檚 standing on breaks with a loud splintering noise. Cleo screams as she plummets through the floor and lands messily in the cellar.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Ow! Ow! (Coughing) (She recovers) Oh my god!

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FX: She coughs and dusts herself off. Her phone broke in the fall.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Not my phone! (She tries to turn it on) As if鈥�.come

on鈥�.come on. No way! That was brand new! Damn it!

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FX: She stops when she hears little feet scampering.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 OK鈥�what was that?

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FX: We hear some light squeaking.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Please be a cat. I can hear you! I鈥檓 not tryin鈥� to hurt you yeah?

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FX: More feet, more squeaking. Then rasping, dribbling.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Oh my god鈥�what the hell?

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FX: The snarling gets louder as the rats skulk out of the darkness.

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 No way鈥�this can鈥檛 be real.

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FX: The squeaking, rasping intensifies.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Please stop! Stop! Stay away!

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FX: More and more rats pour into the cellar.

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I said get back! (Effort as)

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FX: Cleo wields garden fork, scrape against concrete

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FX: We hear a wet smush as she stabs one with the garden fork. The rat shrieks in pain.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Just leave me alone鈥�

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FX: The rats swarm around her. Cleo screams as they bear down on her.

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CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 HELP ME Doctor!

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The music builds into a threatening synth and ends abruptly with a distortion. Before building into a gleefully Whovian, alien symphony of synths and electric keyboard that cuts off into piano that continues under the rest of the credits.

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END CREDITS 听听 Doctor Who: Redacted. Episode One, Regrets by Juno Dawson. Starring Charlie Craggs as Cleo Proctor, Lois Chimimba Abby Mcphail, Holly Quin-Ankrah Shawna Thompson, Anjli Mohindra Rani Chandra, Maggie Service Morag, Teri Ann Bobby-Baxter Esther and Sam Stafford as Ed. Directed by Bethany Weimers, Producer James Goss, Sound design by Rob Harvey, Original Composition by David Devereux. A 成人论坛 Studios Production for 成人论坛 Sounds.

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