"I just found that four month period of the newborn stage really really tough. It's really tested our relationship."
When you become a parent, it can be difficult to make time for yourself and the people around you.
Marnie talks about how her and partner, Casey really struggled in the first few months after their baby was born.
You can be so sleep deprived, so tired, so stressed you can take it out on each other. Or you can come together and get through it as a team and I think that's what I did with Casey.
Me and Casey, before we had a baby, we were very blas茅, we just loved our free time, we loved to just chill and that's something that massively changed overnight. Rox was definitely a massive surprise.I think for Casey it was a massive shock. I think because he was really young, I don't think he was really prepared for what was to come.
I just found that four month period of the newborn stage really really tough. It's really tested our relationship. The fact that we've made it through and we're stronger than ever, I think Rox has made us stronger. I've got so much more respect for Casey since he became a dad. When I see him playing with Rox, looking after Rox, it just honestly makes me so proud. I think it's really important that the men bond as soon as possible, because we've had that nine months to bond when we were growing the baby. I just think they do get left out and it's not purposely. The men do get the brunt of it and I don't think it's fair.
Before I had Rox, I was convinced that I wouldn't need any help. When my mum was offering us help she was saying "Look, I'll babysit, I'll do this鈥" and I was like "no, it's fine. Me and Casey have got this. We're going to be great." I think having that support system around you, whether it's your family, your friends, I think it's so important just to give you that few days rest. Women shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed to take the help. You should always take it when it's there.
It's still really hard to make time for each other, when you're a parent. I think that's one thing that me and Casey still need to work on. You just need to have that space where you can both talk about what's on your mind, things that you're going through and I just think that's so important, but it's definitely one of the trickiest things about becoming a parent. Honestly now, we couldn't really imagine our life without Rox. We just don't even know what we used to do with our spare time.
Looking after yourselves as a couple and as individuals is important.
Here are a couple of things you could try together whilst baby sleeps:
- Watching a movie
- Going for a short walk
- Baking a cake
- Playing a board game or video game
- Having a takeaway
