Helen
Joanna, you look glam. Did you see that meme today of that warthog eating that lipstick? You just reminded me of it. Why are you so dressed up for Netflix & Chill night?
Jo
Netflix & Chill? Isn't that like code for sex?
Wendy
Breast pad, please, Helen.
Jo
I was going to go for a walk. Probably past the pub鈥
Helen
I wouldn't do that if I was you. People already think you're a prostitute. C'mon, sit down. Girly night in, just us girls. Have a snack. It's a vegetable. You're probably not used to seeing veg around the house being a skint single mum. Delicious. Mangetout and grapes. Two of my five-a-day.
Wendy
Did you deliver your placenta naturally, Joanna?
Jo
What?
Wendy
I did. The midwife said it was the biggest, most nutritious placenta she's ever seen. Oh, god. I kept it. You can do amazing things with placentas these days, you know. What I did with mine was鈥
Helen
Tyler, darling. Would you like some vegetables instead? How about some mangetout? No probs, darling, you enjoy.
Jo
Well, I'm just gonna get going to鈥
Helen
Park it! Do you need to undo those trousers?
Jo
No, they fit perfectly. Ok?
Wendy
I could never wear those after all my poor perineum has been through.
Helen
Alright. I'm pressing play. OK? Fifty Shades Of Grey. Now you're talking!
Wendy
I love a good art documentary.
Jo
I really need to get going, guys.Shhh. It's started.
Wendy
颁丑谤颈蝉迟辞辫丑别谤鈥
Christopher
Handcuffs!
Wendy
We have to turn this off.
Helen
That's really actually quite clever, Wendy. You're always saying how babies learn through copying. Handcuffs. Well done, Christopher.
Christopher
Cable ties.
Wendy
This is so inappropriate. We have to turn it off now.
Helen
But it's Netflix & Chill night. I really want to Netflix & Chill with you.
Jo
That's still code for sex. Amber鈥
Wendy
No matter how many times you watch Frozen, it never gets boring.
Jo
So, as I was saying two hours ago. Thanks for babysitting. I'm just gonna head out before closing time.
Wendy
Just undo them.
Jo
No, Wendy. They fit perfectly.
Helen
Ooh, fun fact about that wine, Joanna. It's made from Wendy's placenta!