The other day we were at a play centre when I realised I'd been staring at someone's cellulite in Barbados for over twenty minutes.
I zoomed in on a paparazzi shot of her bottom, while my daughter was hollering, Daddy, look at my building block tower Daddy.
No I can't, I'm ogling a stranger's botty via a smartphone.
This has got to stop.
Face to face time with your child actually helps them develop.
I suppose it's pretty obvious really.
But the more words and feelings you put into a child the more wonderful words and feelings come out.
We spend our lives dribbling into a Samsung Galaxy.
Other smartphones are available.
Don't be surprised if your toddler鈥檚 first words are.
How many likes can I get Mummy? How many likes can I get? Mommy how many likes?
Listen, I get it, social media is fun connective, it can be liberating. I'm not dissing all of those things. I'm just saying, moderation and experience with your child in real life is so much more enjoyable than an experience via social media.
Here's a news flash. You do not have to share your children on social media.
I know a lot of people thought it was a British law passed in 2009. That thou must share their child's face on the Internet. Bear in mind that one day your child might not thank you for sharing his or her face.
Don't be eager to put your baby's face on the Internet as soon as it's born.
I'm going into labour. I'm crowning Gary, profile pic get the baby鈥檚 head coming out and put it as my profile pic.
One last very important point. You know you're six packed really successful friend who's a dad as well as a fitness model.
Mum's you know your friend who's got three kids and is also studying in the evening and she's beautiful.
You now those people, they don't exist.
They never have existed and they never will, it's just a bunch of twits who've mastered the art of presenting a fake self-online in order to make you feel crappy about yourself.
Next time, like me you find yourself sobbing at eleven AM into a sandwich you're not hungry enough to eat, remember.
Most parents, most of the time are covered in sick, poop or tears. Happy parenting people. Right I'm off to upload a picture of my abs onto Instagram.
The modern world, full of addictive social media and endless amounts of screens and selfies can give you a bit of a distorted view of what's important.
Russell's found himself obsessing over celebs' lives online, as well as those perfect-looking parent friends.
But he wants to make it clear - when it comes to parenting, it's what's real and in front of you that counts.
