Across the UK, more Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender couples and those of other identities (LGBTQ+) feel comfortable to adopt children as part of their family.
Same-sex adoption has been legal in the UK since 2002, but for some LGBTQ+ couples, there can still be some nervousness or questions about the process and the support for families making the decision to grow.
Parenting influencer Andi of Dadda & Daddy sat with Tiny Happy People to share his experiences.
Deciding to adopt
Andi and his partner Darren are proud adoptive fathers of two children (their daughter is 6 years old and their son 3 years) and have been documenting their parenting journey since 2020.
鈥淲e got married in 2014 and the conversations came up very soon after about the best time to start the adoption process,鈥 said Andi.鈥淲e wanted to be in a position where we were settled in our own home and in a place in our lives where we felt we were able to give 100% of our time to the approval process.鈥
While adoption agencies each have their own processes for matching adopters with children, their assessments should be focused around topics like why you want to adopt and your capacity to meet your child's needs, rather than your gender or sexual orientation.
The adoption process
Andi and Darren have careers in education and social care, so were familiar the adoption process on paper but there were still surprises: 鈥淣either of us were prepared for how much of our mental space that the process would consume.鈥
鈥淢eetings with social workers often felt like therapy where you are reliving and retelling stories from your past. I personally didn't appreciate how difficult I would find the matching part of the process, particularly our second adoption, where we had to be increasingly mindful of the level of need we took on, as we already had a child with complex needs.鈥
Andi has discovered new things about himself through taking on the challenge of parenting: 鈥淚 think I鈥檓 far more resilient than I ever knew I was! I鈥檝e got a real fire in my belly when it comes to making sure my kids get the adequate support that they need and deserve.鈥
LGBTQ+ Adoption
According to the Department for Education, 1 in 5 adoptions in England in 2023 were by same-sex couples. Northern Ireland had 1 in 8 adoptions to same-sex couples in 2023 and 2022 figures for Scotland and Wales showed 1 in 4 and 1 in 8 adoptions respectively.
These figures don鈥檛 account for single LGBTQ+ people adopting, or bisexual people in different-gender relationships, so the LGBTQ+ involvement in adoption is likely even more significant. More people like Andi are becoming comfortable in their ability to start a loving, fulfilling family unrestricted by gender or sexuality.
鈥淪ince adopting, we have had emotional and physical support from friends and family who all welcomed our children with open arms,鈥 said Andi.
鈥淓ach adoption agency and local authority is different but some things that we have accessed are adopter coffee mornings for parents, stay and play sessions for adopted pre-school children and other local family events. As the needs of our children have evolved we have accessed support groups dedicated and tailored to their needs.鈥
Learning about different families
As their children grow, Andi and Darren want them to appreciate families of all shapes and sizes.
"We have books in the home about different families, religions and ethnicities. We also do life story work with our children with books created about their lives with them at the centre of it.
"We do celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride Month 鈥 we鈥檝e not been to a pride event as a family, but it鈥檚 something we want to do this year!"
As Andi鈥檚 daughter has additional sensory needs, large events could prove to be overwhelming but they鈥檇 like to be involved in ways accessible to the whole family. It鈥檚 particularly important for them to find events that are great for families, with activities for children in mind.
鈥淲e have actually reached out to a few city prides and just said 鈥楾here鈥檚 a lot of LGBTQ+ families now with young children, can you feature the family aspect as well?鈥欌
Creating a community
Not only is he incredibly proud of his family, Andi is also proud of the wider community he's made.
"I think it鈥檚 really important for people who have been there and had challenges to share those challenges and be able to help people. It鈥檚 never a fully unique journey, there are always other people going through things that are similar to you.
"And it鈥檚 really good for people to be able to resonate with the people they see on social media. Being a parent can be an isolating experience, so seeing people going through things similar yourself is quite a nice thing!鈥
If you would like to know more about Andi and his family you can follow them on Instagram: .
