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THE HEAD OF THE SNAKE
Britney Spears has been overheard begging someone to come with her to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. The man she was overheard speaking to is called Justin, and this therefore MEANS that she is DEFINITELY talking to Justin Timberlake. It has been reported in the US magazine that she said this: "Come on Justin, please, please, please come!"

CHARTBLOG SAYS: Captain Sexyback isn't the only Justin in the world. Maybe Britney is a secret Eurovision fan, and was showing support for her favourite would-be entry...

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THE NECK OF THE SNAKE
Speak of the devil....Justin Hawkins has offered the entire British public out for a fight, possibly to cover up his embarrassment at not being chosen as this year's Eurovision entry. Possibly not.

He put a posting up on his page saying: "Why didn't Big Brovas make it to the sing off? They were amazing! Perhaps the UK is racist. Or stupid. Or both."

Only it seems he has NOT offered everyone out after all, as he's now saying it was all a big fuss over nothing: "I congratulated Scooch on the night, just like every other contestant. There was no storming into dressing rooms or any of the other bulls*** I've read today."

CHARTBLOG SAYS: World, calm down! He's Justin Hawkins, he SAYS STUFF. This is what he do.

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THE SHOULDERS OF THE SNAKE
While we're on TV talent contests, Louis Walsh has apparently been signed up to be one of the judges on the new all-male version of the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳'s How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria, which is to be called Any Dream Will Do. If it's true, this is odd, because Louis claimed to be keen to get back to his day job of band management, once the X-Factor went sour on him too (just like it did for Michelle, Steve, Shayne...blahblahblah).

CHARTBLOG SAYS: Is it possible the only person involved in Louis' former TV show who really has 'The X-Factor' is Simon Cowell? Everyone else seems to be disappearing like beer in a sieve.

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THE BODY OF THE SNAKE
And in his capacity as manager of Girls Aloud, Louis has been hinting at the final days of Girls Aloud. Or hinting at the final days of Girls Aloud's record contract, at the very least.

He told magazine: "They're doing one more album for Polydor. I think rumours about the band splitting started because Nadine is in Los Angeles, but she's only in Los Angeles because she's going out with a guy there, Jesse Metcalfe."

CHARTBLOG SAYS: Hold on to those pop obituaries just yet.

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THE END OF THE TAIL...
Although, having said that, Sarah Aloud might be looking to pastures new, especially as she's been given a firm job offer from a rival act. Well, I say 'firm'...I think the correct word is probably 'infirm' or even 'jokey'.

Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys told the : "I'm finding less and less to say. I'm wilting as a frontman, right, so I'm thinking, third album, we'll just get Sarah Harding to front the band. I'll sing some of the old songs to keep the hardcore happy and then all the new tunes can just be her."

CHARTBLOG SAYS: OMG! REALLY?? REALLY REALLY?? Oh.