³ÉÈËÂÛ̳

I could certainly wax lyrical about the video, if only because it contains one of those Whack-A-Mole games, only the moles aren't moles, they're black puddings with big white X's on them. And our Just seems to be something of a genius at the game, because he can whack a pudding without even LOOKING. If only this was an Olympic discipline, we'd have the gold for sure.

Or I could point out how, if you arranged a darkroom duet between Jack and Maxi Jazz from out of Faithless (Just Jazz, anyone?), you would have to arrange a congregation of vocal scientists to figure out which was which. Even more so if only one of them wrote the words, cos without meaning to be too nasty, Maxi Jazz's lyrics have a bit more to them, so that would totally give the game away.

And then there's the music. I could definitely find something to say about the way the background snooze-disco has been mixed so as to keep TOTALLY out of the way of the words. And that as soon as he stops singing, the music sort of struggles to hold the attention. It's as if his lyrics are Bagpuss and the music is all of Bagpuss's friends. As we all know, when Bagpuss goes to sleep, all his friends go to sleep. And Lord knows Jack doesn't sound massively awake even when he's in full flow. So when he stops, everything slumps over like a wet sandwich.

Finding an appropriate ranking for a song as underwhelming as this is a whole other thing. Under normal circumstances this would be a dead-cert for three stars. But that drippy chorus is so...blah...that it's almost annoying. And annoying songs get a two. But it's not really annoying enough to warrant two stars, or inoffensive enough for three. Having said that, there's still the Whack-A-Pudding machine to take into consideration, so maybe that JUST tips the balance.

Oh, whaddya know, there WAS stuff to talk about after all...

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 18th

(Fraser McAlpine)