James Blunt - 'Carry You Home'
It's all very well little Jamesy claiming he can carry people home - and he has had the army training, so maybe he's musclier than he looks - but there's something about being offered a lift by a man with a squeaky voice that makes you wonder if he's actually talking to a Borrower. Or maybe a rabbit, or a medium-sized house cat at best.
It also depends on how close to your home you are when he makes his offer. If you're a normal-sized human or bigger, you'll probably want to be no more than 10 feet from your front door and not carrying any heavy shopping, to save game James's little back. The smaller you are, the further away you can go. For a child as young as three (not a fat child, mind), you could maybe go around the corner, or even as far as the bus stop.
Babies would be even better, but then there's hardly anything reassuring about offering to carry a baby home. It's not like they can get there any other way, unless there's a pram around. And then James is going to run into problems reaching the handle.
So the best case scenario for him is that he has met a toddler, no more than a quarter of a mile from their house. It would have to be a toddler who James knows, maybe a family member, otherwise the tabloids will crucify him for being a child-snatcher or something. And the poor mite should be tuckered out, and unwilling to walk.
Under circumstances such as these, James Blunt's 'Carry You Home' could be the touching, supportive, sweet ballad, and balm for the soul it so clearly wants to be. Otherwise it's an idle boast about weightlifting, contained within just another James Blunt song.
Download: Out now
CD Released: March 17th
(Fraser McAlpine)
Comments
Finally, a Gloworm answer record!
lol I can't stop laughing when I read it. Great review! But I still believe that James's stronger than u think xD
What the hell are you talking about?!
This song is great! Peaceful, meaningful and depressing, everything you need for a great song. 5/5.
It is a good job that James Blunt is a more talented songwriter than Fraser McAlpine is at being a chart critic. Fraser's critique is a stream of meaningless drivel and demonstrates a lack of depth.
James Blunt new CD will be a best seller despite Fraser's sneering crticism as James Blunt's talent will prevail, despite the music media's constant childish jibes at his work!
[Whoah! Easy there! A stream of meaningless drivel it may be (it is, I can't deny it) but a CRITIQUE? How DARE you! - Fraser]