How To Have A No.1 Hit Single Using Pizza...
Songwriters! If you've ever been stuck for inspiration and wondered how to jump-start your muse, why not just take a walk to your local pizza parlour, grab a bite to eat and settle down with a pen and a pad. That's how it worked for BC Jean, the lady who came up with the idea for Beyoncé's smash hit 'If I Were A Boy'. All it took was the idea of some lunch, a chance comment to her writing-partner Toby Gad, and the rest is cash in the bank.
Now, I know what you're thinking, how hard can it actually be to come up with ideas for Beyoncé songs, seeing as they are almost all about the essential rubbishness of boys? It's a fairly well-trodden path after all (despite what seems to be a very solid relationship with Jay-Z).
This is where the pizza comes in.
BC explained to US newspaper The Hartford Courant: "So we were walking through Times Square, and I said, 'I wish I were a boy,' and he's like, 'Why would you say that? That's very weird to me.' I said, 'That pizza smells really good, and I'm trying not to eat carbs, and I wish I were a boy so I didn't care.'
She went on: "That's how the song started, and he was like, 'What else would you do if you were a boy?' And I was going through a really hard breakup with my first real love, so I said, 'I'd be a better man than my ex-boyfriend!' And he asked, 'How would you sing it?' So I'm just singing in Times Square into his recording thing, and we went back to the studio, and he had a guitar part.
"We recorded it that day; it was so simple. I remember Toby looking at me and going, 'We just wrote a smash.' I thought he was crazy."
Which does beg the question, are there any other restaurant-based dilemmas could be used as idea-fuel for future hit songs? Will Beyoncé's next magnum opus contain a song about how best to work out the tip for a slightly sulky waitress who nevertheless brought the food in good time and didn't spend ages fetching the ketchup?
Well no, because if someone was less than sparkling in the presence of Beyoncé, they'd be sacked, or dead, or both. Probably.
But, as the battle of the sexes is a hot topic, can we look forward to a song about whether it's OK to expect to share a side portion of chips if your man gets one, or just get your own and be, y'know, independent women? Or maybe something about whether it's appropriate to always apply salt and pepper, even before you have tasted your food?
Granted, 'If I Were A Boy' isn't really about eating pizza (nor is BC Jean, clearly). So, is there anything else about the experience of dining out which can be used as a metaphor from which basic human truths can be extrapolated?
Well, I suppose you could start off thinking about how the bill is divided up, that's always a source of tension. Some people prefer to pay half of the total amount, while others prefer to work out what their contribution may be, based on what they have had to eat.
The gentleman's way would be to pay the entire bill, but then, as she has pointed out before, Beyoncé likes to be "50:50 in relationships", which would imply she's a bill-splitter, rather than a starter-counter.
So, maybe something about taking the rough with the smooth, giving as well as taking, not being too anal about things and not taking your good lady (or any woman ever) for granted would be the way to go.
Here's some titles, in case you're having trouble getting started...
'Peckish Women (Put A Cheesecake On It)'
'My Bill, Your Bill (We'll Share The Tip)'
'Gimme Some Fries (A Girl's Gotta Eat)'
'If You Love Me (Buy My Pudding)'
'Starters, Mains & Afters (You're Dumped)'
Remember to credit ChartBlog when you've got your big hit, and they're all yours. 'K?
Comments Post your comment