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To say I got a sinking feeling as I heard the central locking grind itself into the locked position as I closed the only open door would be a HUGE understatement. In case the gravity of what I had done hadn’t entirely hit home in that split second, the other team members helpfully hammered home the message as the seconds ticked by with well chosen diplomatic string of swearwords. With a couple of them merely the look of utter disbelief at my stupidity was enough. No, I didn’t just have a sinking feeling, I was ready to quit and walk home just to disappear and stop the prolonged embarrassment I was feeling.

How could I BE so stupid? Well, I’ll tell you! And for the record, I don’t think I was that stupid to be honest with you. Since when have you EVER heard of a car locking itself when the engine’s on with NO-ONE inside? Seriously! I’ve heard of central locking the boot. I’ve heard of central locking every passenger door bar the driver’s. I’ve even heard of every door locking when you start to drive off, but to lock as soon as the door’s closed after turning the engine on? Come on! Innocent Your Honour!

The worst part of all this was that I was trying to be nice! Well, go ahead and stick a health warning on me right there! NEVER try and be nice, ‘cause it’ll come back an’ bite you on the behind. The people carrier had been packed. Right up to the roof, leaving a little peep-hole to check for mad Germans driving behind on those Autobahns. It was a very hot day and I’d just closed the boot. Rachel starts opening all the doors saying it’ll get too hot inside. I pointed out the thousands of flies per square metre and offered to turn the air-con on (we were about to leave in 5 mins anyway). Opened the side door, leant inside, put the key in the engine, air-con on, get back out, close door and…. Grind. Not my fault.

Well, I thought I’d get my two-pence worth in before Chris rips me apart on air and relives this new personal career-low (well, since the Robbie Williams triple A passes debacle anyway (a story for another time)). At least you know what the next year’s worth of material is going to be now.

5 hours later and we’re STILL driving north, with almost no sign of our destination. Btw the local friendly car mechanic came and saved us a mere (!) hour after our emergency call went in. His technique was surprisingly low-tech but for law and order reasons I couldn’t possibly divulge how we got in. (Although, if you see me driving a new Audio TT you’ll know the technique works on all type of vehicles!).

Aled
xx