BP (OTUKOGBANI): Tulsa Kensgrove and friends
I've been reading back over some of Ben's comments, and feel I need to respond in some way. That's the problem with the old Internet - it's very easy to slip into being rude and snarky, even when you don't really mean to. I know Ben and I had our differences but I think he'd be the first to agree that I was on a very steep learning curve and once we were underway I handled myself very professionally.
I think Ben is just trying to be light and funny in the modern style of these things. But quite frankly, how he can accuse me of being unprofessional when he admits to spending the whole of one interview listening to the Grand Prix (never saw the appeal myself) is beyond me. I spoke to Holly, the researcher, about this at the time (a lovely girl, very striking, she was really running the show, not Ben) and she agreed that Ben was out of order. Actually to tell you the truth I think Ben's main problem was that I seemed to be hitting it off very well with Holly, who he was quite plainly obsessed with, even though he is married.
Anyway, now I've got that off my chest, back to the blog. Very soon Bellamy's People (of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland), or BP (OTUKOGBANI) as I call it to save time, will be hitting the big screen! (Not the cinema, the TV screen, but these days, TVs are almost as big as the big screen. The new one from Sony is six metres long, hangs on the wall like a picture and is only as thick as a slice of 'thick sliced' Kingsmill, it's great!Ìý (Plug, plug, send me one please Sony!!! )
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To celebrate the launch of BP (OTUKOGBANI) in January 2010, here is another exclusive clip that was too good to be in the actual series!
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After my first week of filming, I was settling in nicely, but I was constantly struggling with my own ideas and the - frankly pedestrian - ideas that the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳ had. Mainly it was to do with my presentation and how I should walk better and use my hands in a more expressive way. I could see both sides of the argument, but mainly I agreed with myself.Ìý
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One thing that both myself and Ben the director did agree on was the fact that young ladies today can be a nightmare when out on the town. They are drinking themselves into an early cremation. Sometimes the women are worse than the men!Ìý So we decided to go to a club and meet some of this new breed of drunken women. Here's a clip:
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I was nervous about meeting such out-of-control young ladies, but after a few minutes in the company of Tulsa Kensgrove and her girlfriends, I settled down and had a lot of fun. It was great to spend time with some red-blooded girls, rather than the menagerie of either obese, elderly, racist, violent or homosexual men that I had been stuck with so far whilst filming.
I was shocked to discover that the girls drank a WHOLE bottle of wine EACH before they LEFT the house AND had already been SICK in the TAXI on the WAY there - and it WASN'T even EIGHT O'cloCk!
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Ben was keen that I sat back and observed, but to get into the spirit, I wanted to experience what they experienced and join in with them, even if it meant keeping pace drink for drink. I even had a shot of tequila (for the first time since I graduated). I hadn't missed it. I think tequila is for morons. It tastes like Dettol and makes you feel like a toilet too. I prefer a nice glass of red, but order one of those in a club like 'Pumphouse 2000', where we were filming, and you'd get beaten up!
I tried to keep up with them, but they drank a hell of a lot. It's hard to believe that girls half my weight and size can sink twice as much as me! Gary B! But the more I drank, the more fun I had. I even danced. At the end of a swell night, Kayleigh, one of the prettier girls, even asked me back to her house whilst vomiting. Being the gentleman I am, I got her a cab and dropped her off at her door, then went home, flattered but with my conscience happily intact. I was tickled to see that Holly the pretty researcher was just a little bit jealous and kept asking me questions about it, but I kept her guessing.
My own girlfriend never drinks, seldom goes out and is often snooty about these 'ladettes', as they have been coined by the press. But I think she could learn a thing or two from them, certainly how to have fun and let her thin hair down, from time to time.
These women were only harming themselves and what's wrong with that?
Chin chin!
Gary Bellamy is presenter of Bellamy's People. Read more about the making of Bellamy's People on the Comedy Blog.
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