BELLAMY'S BABES - HOT POT NEWS FLASH
I sent Gary a hot pot in the post. I reckon it must be hard work being The World's Sexiest Man (as voted by me! Tee hee!) plus all that filming must take it out of him. He could do with a good meal. I wrote "This Way Up" on the box so I hope Mr Postie doesn't spill any.
Did you enjoy it Gary? Let us know. I do a mean meatloaf and a cheese souffle if you fancy it - although I must admit that doesn't travel so well. I once sent one to Steve Rider. I had a lovely letter from his management which said thank you very much but Steve is actually allergic to cheese. Who knew?
Bernard framed the letter and stuck up in the downstairs toilet next to a picture of our dog dead dog Alan. Alan was killed by a milk float. He never was a very quick dog. He was a cross between a St Bernard and a terrier. God only knows how they romanced the night away but then again Bernard is a very large man and I have a very small pelvis and we managed it.
Anyhoooo, I'm in the process of setting up a website in memory of Alan as I've never met a dog that was more like a human. He used to love watching snooker and his favourite thing was listening to my cassette of James Galway. I'm hoping to get a letter from Gary one day which will go up on the other side of Alan. How lovely would that look? I was thinking of putting a photo of Gary up on our toilet wall but then I thought, do I really want Gary looking at me with those come to bed eyes when I'm doing me business? So I took it down and put up one of John Nettles instead. I've always found his face to have a laxative effect! Don't ask me why. Just writing his name down makes want to go.
The Making of Bellamy's People of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland: Episode Five
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