Caption comp results
13:26 UK time, Friday, 17 November 2006
It's time for the caption competition results.
This week, a woman shares a toast of Beaujolais Nouveau wine with a diver at Tokyo's Aqua Stadium aquarium. But what's being said?
1. Colette
David Blaine enjoys a night out with a friend...
2. Susan
James Bond's wife wonders why they can't have a normal indoor swimming pool now he's retired.
3. Graz
"Shouldn’t we be having white with fish?"
4. Colin Bartlett
"Good body although a little watery for my taste."
5. Kip
That whirring noise is Jacques Cousteau in his grave.
6. Stig
"I think I prefer the dry white..."
Thanks to all who entered. Check back later this afternoon to view those entries that didn't make the cut.
The 
Comments
Looking into the mirror the woman thought perhaps she'd had one glass to many.
"I'm getting raspberries, I'm getting blackcurrant, I'm getting saline..."
Waiter, I think there's been a mistake - I ordered a dry wine.
Alice was sure she would like THIS looking glass house better than the last one.
"No sudden movements, we've already lost Steve Irwin to one of these things!"
"Drink with wings" gets lost in translation.
"And here comes the killer sting ray, so let's raise our glasses in an appreciative last toast to our brave diver Taka"
"Ray, a drop of beaujolais"
oh, sorry, the Sound of Music was last week.
Steve Irwin - what really happened!
Here's to Steve Irwin.
Given the competition from the Americans, Iron Chef raised the ante in Kitchen Stadium
Crikey this is strong stuff - the bubbles have gone right to my head.
An official from Tokyo's Aqua Stadium launches their gruesome "Don't Drink and Dive!" advertising campaign with a life-like animatronic diver.
Rays your glasses
Marina discovers that Troy Tempest has a drink problem
Tests prove that red wine gives you wind.
"Actually, it's the new 'high on air' hand signal."
"That's funny: it tastes of fish this year"
Bottom feeders up!
It was only later that she discovered that her drink had been spiked with ray-hipnol
Diver: "Ugh! This tastes like watered-down fish wee! Oh, hang on a minute..."
The search continues for the next Labour Party Conference venue
"Hey ray, that's my beaujolais!"
You expect me to drink?
No, I expect you to sink Mr Bond.
Sting Ray!!
Rays a glass!
Asahi Sukohara about to vividly demonstrate the perils that can befall you if you Drink And Dive.
"Ambassador, with this shark flavoured Ferrero Rosher, you're really spoiling us..."
Let's all rays a glass.
"Number Two" was allowed a last drink before finding out the price of failure.
This year's Beaujolais Nouveau is juicy, sappy and spicy in the mouth, with dominant raspberry and cherry flavours, with perhaps a hint of shark's pee
We're hic-thyologists
Waiter, this wine's orced.
Man in body condom toasts the ultimate safe sex strategy.
At least mine's not watered down
Yeah, let's both get tanked!
A typical working day at the Glasgow Aquarium
Here's to you ...Steve Irwin
Self-contained Underwater Boozing Apparatus
Tayo didn't think she'd had that much to drink, but she could still see Dumbo flying around the tank
"To Steve Irwin"
Scuba, scuba doo
Shouldn't it be white wine with fish?
It's a bit dry for my liking.
The Japanese translator was tactfully informed that the English expression is actually not 'wining and diving'.
James Bond realised Shark Shooter hadn't been a msprint at all.
Here's sand and gravel in your eye.
"But what the diver doesn't know is that we replaced his wine with Sting Ray pheremones."
When I said take a little water with it.....
Who ordered the Shark's Fin soup?
I'll rays a glass to that!
We must stop meeting like this.
Red wine with fish, again - when will SPECTRE agents ever learn?
Unfortunately the latest "don't drink & dive" campaign hadn't got through to everyone.
Well that's all very well, but unless that diver gets out of my tank I am NOT doing my famous rendition of the Japanese national anthem, standing on my head while drinking a glass of wine
What's a nice girl like you doing with a plaice like this?
Red wine with fish - I don't think so
Her - I'm getting raspberries, I'm getting wood smoke, I'm getting liquorice.
Him - I'm getting wet.
then he asked me to come back to his plaice for a drink
The opening of Harry Ramsden's new Japanese branch goes well.
As they drank their wine, little did they know that Steve Irwin's killer was still at large...
Careful, mate, the rays in there would kill for a glass of... oh, too late.
then he asked me to come back to his plaice for a drink
Watery? of course this Beaujolais Nouveau's watery
Stingray? No - Japanese beau-jo-ray
And her husband suspects nothing.
So Beaujolais Nouveau is heavier than water, but how on earth am I supposed drink it!
"See? I told you he drank like a fish!"
Beastreau
"as you can see it goes wonderfully with fish"
"I guess you'd prefer a dry white next?"
No, Mr Bond, I expect you to drink!
"A bit bubbly, isn't it?"
It was only when Misaki looked in her mirror that she realised she had drunk far too much.
"you can see it's a heavy wine"
When I asked for a Sharks' Fin Soup for a starter, I wasn't thinking of this...
John Barrowman's appearance in Shark Attack 4 was reaching new lows
The scene at the end of Thunderball we didn't get to see.
The traditional "is that still or sparkling water, sir? " is taken a little too literally in Japan
The fish supper was a washout but at least the wine was good!
Proof that one can drink red wine with fish.
Pardon me, miss, do you have a wine that's a bit more dry?
Roger would go to any lengths to bed his dream lady!
Celebrations as water engineer finally locates leak.
Beauji-ray!
The original request of a dry white wine, sadly, could not be fulfilled.
Ray: "Oi, mate! Show some respect – it should be white with fish!"
OK, so how am I supposed to drink it?
Ha ha ha haaaaa - diver will be velly disappointed when he find glass not contain wine but blood. Queue cello music!
Troy Tempest and Aqua Marina finally tie the knot, as Stingray looks on.
A toast - to Steve Irwin's memory...
Now's probably not the best time to mention the sushi canapés...
If all I'd wanted was a Marge Simpson hairstyle, I could have avoided all this hassle
Evil Bond-type villian: A toast, you did a good job on that little problem we had in Australia
Tokyo tests sting ray antidote
Voracious man-eater moves in on young diver.
Skates's wine lodge.
Kenji tried desperately to scream "I'm about to be eaten by a bl**dy great big fish", but they all thought he was joking.
Nice bit of bubbly
Cod's rose
With this wine you need to let it breathe.
Yeah, and there's a newt in there with him as well.
"Little nose this year; 'heavy' yet somewhat 'watery,' wouldn't you say?"
And all because...the lady loved milked ray.
Glasses Raysed As Disney Japan Premieres 'Finding Vino'
My mother warned me about dating Jacques Cousteau.
'Usually he drinks Reef.'
One drink was all it took and Dave was utterly tanked!
I prefer dry white wine
Wow, this wine's good- I see my reflexion as a Scuba Diver!
Treetment centre opened in Tokyo for alcoholic fish
Mmmmm... smooth with a sharp finish.
"Well you did say you didn't like dry wine !"
Rays your glasses.
Police are called to another case of drink diving at the aquarium.
Mmmmm... Stingray 2006, smooth with a sharp finish.
When TV programmes collide IV - The Undersea World of Oz Clarke
Hmm, can you smell fish?
Beaujolais Nouv-eau
Good job it's not bubbly...
"You can tell it's a French Wine - there's the frogman!"
And the bottle says St Evian
Keep smiling and don't look round, there's a man taking your picture.
Mr Bond,I'm sure you can survive sharks, tanks of water and poisened wine but can you survive all three at once.
No, Mr Bond ...I expect you to dine!
...and as their eyes met in endless gaze, they clinked their glasses together, and he lost all hearing in his right ear.
How many has that newt had?
"…er, well hoenstly it's not going great. Not much of a talker, bit wet behind the ears, and when he said he was into skates…"
David Blaine's latest attempt came to a surprise end when he failed to identify the vintage of the Beaujolais Nouveau.
And the good news is next week Jeremy Beadle has agreed to swim with them.
A toast? I thought you said coast!
The depths some people will go to to get Beaujolais Nouveau!
Rays. A glass.
"It's light-bodied with a citrus twang and a hint of seaweed."
The Beaujolais Nouveau is one of the few red wines that go well with fish
"This whole Beaujolais Nouveau thing is such a load of Carp."
Give me a moment to slip out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.
Dumbo's inaugural underwater flight is celebrated in style.
Rays a glass
Japanese whale researchers savour the 2006 Sangue Minky.
In a striking visual demonstration, Japanese scientists reveal one of the more embarrassing side-effects of red wine.
Drink diving still a big problem in Japan.
Waitress, this wine tastes fishy!
You haven't seen a six foot tall green toy soldier round here, have you?
"This restaurant certainly has the freshest fish dear...but it's a bit of a dive."
Japenese Steve Irwin makes bad career decision.
Ray of Hope for French exports ?
I knew the launch of the new blu-ray players meant I wouldn't get to drink my wine again. She always gets the best deal.
Japanese chef perfects new fish pickling technique.
Exploding head challenge goes badly wrong for games show contestant.
Davud Gest overdoes the bravado in his "Bush-Tucker" task in the Shark tank
Previous entry should read "David Gest"
James Bond was later arrested for being drunk while at the wheel of his car/plane/submarine.
"The picture on the new Sony 240-inch HD TV is so realistic"
Japanese mistranslate "raise a glass"
I hope you have a large bottle because he drinks like a fish...
"One glass and I feel wrecked."
"It's a lovely place, but when you said you had a great sea view..."
The ray to the diver in the tank- "do you know how to drive this then?"
Better than champagne, the bubbles always tickle my nose
"Tastes like the Landlord has been watering the plonk down again"
Watering down the wine? What makes you think that?
Tell me Mr. Bond, what made you suspect me? Ah, of course, red wine with fish.
Here's looking at you, squid...
The name's Pond, James Pond.
Facing death at the hands of the arch-villainess, 007 still complained that his martini was stirred, not shaken
Thing is, he doesn't write, he never phones..
When they said this bar was a bit of a dive..
The couple's celebrations for being missed by the tsunami turned out to be premature.
What with his phobias, having a drink with Michael Jackson was getting ridiculous..
.. and it tastes like a fish's toilet out here as well.
the scientists had some problems with mirror #2
No, it's because he has bad breath..
That reminds me; I need to get some fish food on the way home.
Kiko knew her husband's rubber fetish was getting out of hand.
To do this job well, you must drink like fish.
Oi! waitress, I ordered dry bubbly!
It's Vimto. Kills sharks instantly!
Goodbye, Mr Bond
Stingray: "No bubbly for me thank you"
Ray 'n' beau?
"My date was a damp squid" (sic)
Tiny bubbles in the wine,
make me happy, make me feel fine.
Raise to Rays
This wine only goes with the freshest sushi
Ooooh this wine has a real sting in its tail!
This wine is sting-sational!
"Hmmmm, salty on the palate and fishy on the nose"
She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something not quite right about her reflection in the mirror.
I said 'Scoo Bar' not Scuba
Ray should have listend to his mum's advice to never to drink and dive.
If Keiko survives the sea-snake venom and mortal combat with the ray, she wins a new cell-phone and goes through to the next round.
No, I said he 'sips' with the fishes.
I'm a plonk-er, get me out of here.......
Halitosis can ruin your life.
The new rules on smoking and drinking in public are quite demanding.
Japan's over fishing leads to a shortage of exhibits in aquariums.
SPECTRE had found a way to distract Bond from the job in hand.
No, spit swill, rinse was for the mask - AFTER the wine tasting.
A little bubbly - going straight to the head.
Mie always insisted that her boyfriends practised safe sex.
1)Anytime,anywhere,any 'plaice'?
2)Best taken with water ?
3)Good wine but the place is a
a dive !
4)Aquiculture drinks revolution?
I'm not drinking this; look at the steam comning out of his ears after just one sip!
Mmmm...I can smell cherries, plum...and a hint of cod.
Tolkein never really translated into Japanese
Don't put too much water in my drink.
Something funny about this mirror...
"3 cheers, hip, hip, ooh ray."
Latest Japanese craze... Mermaids dressed as schoolgirls.
In the salt-water, Dame Edna's wig became translucent revealing that she really was a he after all.
Cheesy and wine.
Old friends gather for Steve's wake in Tokyo
Do you expect me talk?
No, I expect you to dive Mr Bond...
The first dating agency entirely run by stingrays celebrates its first success.
Not so dry as other years, don't you think?
So, Mr Bond, I don't know where you got the scuba diving kit from but if the rays don't get you, the cheap wine will!
Attention to detail was the first caualty in the Japanese, drama documentary about the last days of Steve Irwin.
Caption Competition
"I'm getting fruits of the forest with a hint of Steve Irwin"
Man fined for drink diving.
Pretentious wine tasting has sunk to new depths.
Yes, it was a very amicable divorce. He gets one half the house and I get the other.
You were told not to 'drink and drive' not dive you idiot!
"....and this is our wet bar."
Do you want a little water with that one madam.
I've been expecting you Mr Bond...
In Japan, red wine is considered the perfect accompaniment to fish...
Through gritted smile: "I think he's had one too many - has anyone seen the second diver?"
Wine makers look for new market.
Down the hatch!
Non biased judging in wine shows reaches new depths
Did you let it breathe?
Goodbye Mr Bond. You'll be pleased to hear that my sharks appreciate a good claret as much as you do!
Japanese reveal Stingrays to be used as new Drinking and Diving deterent
I think he might be an alcoholic. He drinks like a fish.
There's nothing scarier for a diver than a stingray with the beer goggles on
Diver: "This wine is definitely Bubbly".
Little did the diver know that she was not referring to the wine when she said it had a good nose but no legs...
Scientists discover cause of this week's tsunami.
"We really should think about fixing that dripping tap dear."
A new world record time is set in balancing a fish on two glasses of wine.
Japan's Steve Irwin offers his final toast.
The fish-with-wine glove puppet lures yet another underwater tippler into a toast.
A little too dry for my taste.
Thanks, but I really only need the cork. We're having a spot of trouble with the submarine.
Sushi anyone?
Him? Oh he drops by for a drink every now and then. He calls himself Mr Waddagal. I don't know either..
Always meet in a safe place on the first date.
"Rays your glasses, please"
The Crimewatch re-enactment of the Steve Irwin case was wrong in at least one (alcohol-related) detail.
It's got too many bubbles in it!
Scientists finally work out where the bubbles go after your drink has gone flat.
Remember: don't drink and dive!
Footballer found not guilty of diving toasts the result...
Ray's your glasses...
sting ray:I always feel that a toast starts a tasty meal off well
Contestants were convinced the wine had been watered down for the latest Bushtucker Trial.
Red wine with fish?!?! tut, tut, tut!
The lengths people go to for some bubbly
Glug Glug!!
One of Tony Blair's promised innovations to make it more difficult for teens to drink alcoholic drinks proved frustrating for Junjo and his older girlfriend.
Er when I said "down the hatch"............
"Le Beajolais Nouveau est dilute"
[NB - can't do an acute accent on the last e]
New speed dating off to a fishy start
Never mind the comments. How does he keep the wine in the glass?
Here's to Steve Irwin