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I wish I'd never come to Midwich, thought the commuter

After the arrival of the fourth member of the band, The Jonas Brothers started to lose their clean cut image.

And this is for spelling Manhattan with an 'e'

Nigel was starting to think that maybe he was at the wrong audition.

Latte? I said Americano, no milk..

James was beginning to wonder whether his mother was telling the truth about his brothers..

The government's education campaign to cut down on fast food consumption in public places takes on an aggressive new stance.

What did they mean by "Beware of the quadruplets"? I can't see anything on four legs anywhere.

At least he'd be safe here, away from those nerds in the IT department..

Ha! Here's the guy who only got a 'B' grade at GCSE..

The commute these days is murder isn't it?

Little did Donald know that the Venetian dwarf had changed his red coat in Marks and Spencer's

The auditions for "Chucky! The Musical" were unusually competitive

Anne Robinson reacts badly to new facelift allegations.

David Cameron wishes he'd stopped at hugging hoodies.

Things were getting tetchy backstage at the 'Accountant Team of the Year' competition..

Boy, I really should cut down on the caffeine...

Cliff Richard began to suspect he鈥檇 been cloned whilst undergoing the Botox treatment

Why do I hate Monday's, thought Gerald..

The creditn crunch has hit everyone hard - street gangs can no longer afford guns.

After a critical mauling, George Lucas tries a new tack for the sequel to The Clone Wars

Stephen Sondheim was just working on a send-up, 鈥淪end in the Clones,鈥� but it was too late

There was something about Class 4c that unnerved him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it..

A bit off your arms here, a bit off your legs there, and don't worry, we'll get this uniform to fit you eventually...

Bill was slow to realize that the stag-do had gone badly wrong.

British Rail apologised for the delay, as there were the wrong kind of dwarfs on the line

Starbucks introduces the new "Chuckychuckychuckychuckyccino".

NYPD believe that the recent spate of violent attacks on New York residents can be mostly traced to the notorious "Midnight Runners" gang, led by the crime lord known only as "Dexy".

Bill regretted suggesting playing Oranges and Lemons with class 5B

The casting director for the revival of "Guys and Dolls" had clearly misunderstood his remit

Not all Oompa-Loompa's were lucky enough to be employed making chocolate.

New York's bid for the 2016 Olympics will include a demonstration of Synchronised Slashing.

Midsomer seemed such a nice, quiet village from which to commute, thought Derek

This years new Hogwarts recruits were all bound for Slytherin

"He'll never pick me out in the ID parade..."

Commuter: "I can't really report him for flashing his chopper in public - he's only a kid after all"

Cabot Cove just didn't seem the same since that thriller writer had moved in, thought Simon

Doctor, can you help me? I keep getting these stabbing pains in my back.

Is this the right platform for the Margate train?

"Kids these days....they're all the same."

The new marketing strategy for Starbucks, which involved slaying anyone found with a Cafe Nero cup, was going well.

Oops! Sorry mate. For a second there I thought you were Gary Glitter...

Here, what do you think of my irresistible deodorant? It's supposed to make me stand out from the crowd.

The Clone Prince of Darkness.

David Miliband just kept repeating the government Mantra:

"There is no increase in knife crime! There is no increase in knife crime! There is ..."

Commuter breathes easier, as Large Hadron Collider fails to end his world.

Lets make him the 50th !

The Pussycat Dolls unveil their new, less man-friendly, look.

Getting the axe at work was taking a more literary form.

Whenever I hear the name and see the face, why do I always think of Cilla Black?

"Hmmm....what if those colliding protons really do create a black hole and end the world today?"

NRA members unfazed by US gun ban.

Arthur was a little cut up about his train being late

Getting the axe at work was taking a more literally form.

( spelin corecshun!)

One of these things is not chopped like the others

"And then I said, 'When I grow up, I want to be a butcher.' Hey! Are you even listening?"

Who let the dolls out?

In New York, the credit crunch was causing more cut-backs

Having discovered the secret of The Matrix, Neo let down his guard.

''On the other hand'', he thought,''if God doesn't like us trying to recreate 'Big Bang', what can he do about it?"

Well, somebody must have voted for Bush, thought Eric

"...I'm not sure 1c are ready for cookery classes."

Sweeny Todd fans gather for same day tickets on Broadway

George sat well forward, as he was worried about the sign falling on him

"Another serial student-slaying"

Tonight on Fox, 'When Rugrats go bad'.

Fans of 42nd Street cut up rough as they realise they have been sold tickets for the wrong musical.

"Following it's first successful day, the Large Hatetron Dollider attempts to split the adam"

Just killing time until the next one comes along

Dave's pediophobia was fully justified

Luckily, Paul Simon quickly moved off to write his song about another street bridge

Parents at the nursery expressed disquiet as the 'Sarah Palin method' of child care began to show results

"You are the weakest link. Goodbye!"

Criteria for entry to this year's Ginger Convention were stricly upheld

Next time, we'll just get cats, thought Derek..

Arthur Rice was about to become the next victim of the cereal killer

Well someone won't be 'Feeling Groovy'.

Unhappy with the makeover, the disgruntled chavs decided to axe their image consultant and go back to Burberry.

"I'm not going to ask you again", said Grumpy, "What the HELL have you done with Snow White"...

No! Frankly, I DON'T wanna play!

"Beward of the Quads"? There's not a bike in sight.

Always use a condom

Whaddya mean you don't like knock knock jokes?

PICTURE HERE FOLLOWED BY EXPLANATORY TEXT, followed by hilarious captions.

it was only now that bill realised what had happened to the other 2 dwarfs.

brown shoes with that shirt? You deserve everything you get...

Dennis Waterman and his family's nice day out was somewhat marred by train rage

"Beware of the Quads?" But there's not a bike in sight.

Dave thought his new Clones didn't bare his resemblence as much as he had hoped - maybe he shouldn't have shared a test tube with Bonny Langford...

Gerald had been dreading the class trip to the zoo for months

George was beginning to wonder whether the quads were actually his

"Excuse me sir, I think you dropped your machete"

#Chuck-chuck-chuck-chuck-chuckie slay a head for me....#

Somebody needs a time-out

"NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK OPENING CONCERT!!!"

It appeared that the curtains would finally be drawn on Robbie Fowlers long and illustrious career

Enid Blyton's estate were regretting selling the Famous Five film rights to Quentin Tarantino.

Shocking new pictures cause controversy for the Mick Hucknall [Children Of Gangs] Program.

mikey was now wishing he was clone alone...

Gerald's flatulence was about to cost him dearly....