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You shall go to the ball, Cinderella, and you're not exactly what I expected either!

I'm sorry, but I think you're about to wish you'd been put in charge of the hamsters

Giraffe (thinking): People do seem to shrink as you get older

I don't mean to stick my neck out, but you missed a bit.

So you thought I had a hearing problem and they'd said I had a dire ear?

And make certain you use a different brush when you clean my teeth

You're going to need more than a broom for this one love.

Look, you don't want to open the lower doors ...

Psst.. Wanna buy some grass?

So you'll take what's behind Door Number 1 then?

You missed a bit.

You thought this was the pound for continental mammals? Actually, it reads incontinental ...

Can I have my football back please?

"Excuse me, I've got an itch on my neck that I just can't quite reach. Do you mind?"

What, no treats?!

When surrealists dream

How the heck do they cram seven bones into those little necks?

Well, yes, I am vegetarian, but, there again, you do look a bit like a jelly baby

Just be glad you didn't draw the short straw on the monkey house, my dear

Well, next time you order a carafe of wine, speak more clearly ...

Well, yes, I can run quite fast, but an elephant can do a ton ... but you wouldn't want to know about that, would you?

At least you'll be able to tell your mother to shut up when she says your room's in a mess

You'll need a shovel for the next phase I'm afraid

Excuse me? Could I borrow a cup of sugar?

Well, I can't see any dogs, but I do agree that this is a shih tzu

Julie had never found a giraffe in an advent calendar before

You're a lot shorter than the last keeper..

Well you're a lot taller than my last pet!!

I don't want to worry you, but we all had an Indian takeaway last night

Oh! I thought they said Ed Ball's education ideas were 'gaffe' prone!

Hey! How you doing?!

Q. What do drinks that consist of liquor and water or soda and that are quickly poured in a tall glass have in common with giraffes?
(answer in the next post)

Answer to the previous post.
They're called High Balls.

"Where`s that David Copperfield bloke gone,he`s left my legs in the bottom door behind you."

Unlike the apes, at least I can't throw it at you, my dear

yeah sorry about the mess, had the lads over for a curry and poker night!
Speaking of which you may want to leave off mucking out for a bit ...

Giraffe: Oh yeah? Well let me show you what sticking your tongue out really means.

You missed a bit........

And I bet that, when you first heard about this job, you said "Oh, is it only for one day?"

Snow's gone, luv. You'll need to practice curling elsewhere now...

where's Johnny Morris when you need a witty comment?

Photographic Proof that Quantitative easing creates employment opportunities for the fans of "things can only get better"on a gap year in the brooming economy.

Who knew giraffes could get legless?

"And a brush to the right"
Gerald the Giraffe was keen to show the young lady his moves for the Rocky Horror Show once the stage had been cleared after an obvious case of stage fright earlier.

Why does my having a long neck make more work for you? Well, having a long neck means I can reach the cherries ...

The horse had bolted, but the giraffe was contained...

"Pssst, human. I have an interesting proposition for you..."

Until a drastic change was made to the law, they had to rely on stolen glances to show their love to one another

Bollywood remakes the film Groundhog Day. Stand by for the big dance sequence...

Oh, it's you. I was hoping for David Attenborough.

"I've had it up to here with you guys!" cried the giraffe.

Ah so you're the new girl.

Fresh towels in the en-suite please and could we move my shiatsu neck and back rub to 1030 please.

Tall for your age are you?

You're not as bright as the last girl - she slipped me some Imodium, and she had nothing to do all day

With tree disease spreading like wildfire, hungry giraffes start looking longingly at the Irish curling team practicing in the yard...

"Not quite 64 Zoo Lane is it love? Now get over here and clear this lot up."

FourKneeSmith reaches new heights

The Giraffe, Pelican and Me Cleaning Co. sadly had to downsize to deal with the credit crunch.

And this is what you could have won had you chosen door number 3...

What did you do to deserve mucking out duty, my dear?

Oh, and do you think you could make the catflap a little bigger?

Do I look like your mother? Clean your own mess up!

The mischievous giraffe with newsreader ambitions chuckled to himself, as little did she know he was not wearing any trousers...

Life here is just like the Britsh economy - broom and brushed

Life here is just like the British economy - broom and brushed

Balls reveals the practical module of the new GCSE in Animal Husbandry.

...So I was minding my own business on the African veld...

The final of the staring competion was taking its toll on the competitors necks - who'd have thought the little girl with OCD and the giffrafe would make it 6 hours.....

Who says giraffes can't ? - koff

London Zoo: "Full-time job? You're having a giraffe..."

And today we're going to take a look through the arched window...

African A-part-hide swept well away

And if you say "Why the long face?", I'll consider giving up vegetarianism

I don't know whether you've noticed, but there's a group of teachers over there laughing their heads off

Oh well. Could be worse. A hundred years ago I'd have been up a chimney

Excitement mounts as the world animal Curling championships get under way

Well look on the bright side, it's a lot better than working for a merchant banker.

Forgot to do your homework again, eh?

And the head's fallen off your hobby horse too

I`m impressed you`ve cleaned it all up without leaving a trace - have you considered a career in banking?

Girl: "I am NOT a schoolgirl! I am a gender-specific educational training receptor on outward life experience detail (non-community payback)!"

Giraffe: "And I thought I used to be wild..."

"Look, I *may* be a giraffe, but I do watch the telly and I'm telling you categorically that Hurling can ONLY be played on ice. Philistine!"

Well, consider it as a more worthwhile career than being an accountant.

The road to a pith helmet and swanky uniform was an arduous one...

*hides head in hands and realises that i meant to say curling in previous post* :(

You missed a spot

Rolf Harris' new show 'Animal Hospitality' looked certain to be a flop

Pssst....want a sure bet for the Gold Cup?

This is the last time I am cleaning your mess.
It is about time you got "yard trained" mate

Gerald enjoyed the power of his new teaching post. Just sixth months earlier he'd been just like any other professional mammal. Now he was head and shoulders above the rest.

Tonight on the ³ÉÈËÂÛ̳, 'Rowan and Martin meet Animal Park'.

HEY! I wanted a room with a Bath!

Biology Practical? You're having a Giraffe!

I wonder if Dora the Explorer got her start like this?

Girl brushes up on Animal Science.

Could you sweep a little more quietly? I'm trying to get my head down.

"I wouldn't come in here for at least 45 minutes..."

The last girl got sacked, she was a bit too keen with the brush and left me spotless.

Er, the lads say that when you've finished out there you can do in here. Oh, and they say you'd better bring a big shovel!

The real Jurassic Park wasn't quite as convincing.

Ex football manager Jack Charlton shows off his new retirement home.